Hick is quite talented at looking at a room in a flip house, and knowing what to do with it. Make it smaller, make it bigger, turn it into another room. It's simple for him. He might draw a floor plan for me if I ask, but for him, it's all in his head. He takes measurements, cuts boards, and VOILA! A new room has been created.
It's the simple things that give Hick trouble.
Saturday night, I made meat loaf for supper. I don't have a recipe. I just throw stuff in. Hamburger, wheat bread crumbs, a couple eggs, some powdered onion soup mix, Worcestershire sauce, and steak sauce. I bake it in a glass 9 x 13 pan that was handed down from my mom. It's at least 65 years old. I'm careful not to grab the part where the end has chipped. I bake my meat loaf at 350, for about 40-50 minutes, then add ketchup to the top, and put it back in the oven for another 10-15 minutes. I would never expect Hick to be able to do this. Not even with instructions written down.
No. I don't ask Hick to construct a meat loaf. The only thing I expected of him was to cut off a slice for his plate. I'd already made his mashed potatoes, and warmed up some garlic toast. I even had marked off the meat loaf in sections. You'd think wielding a knife to slice through meat loaf would be a job Hick was capable of.
"I've got the meat loaf out of the oven. I plan on us eating it for three nights. So I marked it into thirds. I know you like the end. So you can cut that section in half to get your part. I don't care if you take a little more than half. I'll get mine later."
Everybody knows what a slice of meat loaf looks like, right?
That picture is from several years ago. Not the current meat loaf. I only show it as an example of what a slice of meat loaf looks like. You know, in case you've been living under a rock, shacking up with the Geico caveman. A slice of meat loaf. Like you would get in a diner, a restaurant, or any normal home.
Hick took the knife, and I had to say
"STOP! What are you doing??? That's not how you cut a meat loaf!"
Pardon me for this next picture. It's the actual meat loaf, but cold, in the battle-scarred glass baking dish that's Val's version of a family heirloom. Just to explain Hick's idea of cutting a meat loaf.
Imagine the other end still being on the meat loaf. You can see my dividing mark for Sunday and Monday suppers. Did Hick make his slice parallel to that cut in the ketchup? No siree, Bob! Hick was trying to make his cut with the KNIFE PERPENDICULAR TO THE DIVIDING LINE!
I just took the knife and cut it myself. Might as well. It seems like where Hick's kitchen skills are concerned, I should take care of every step. How can Hick be so old, and not understand the shape of a serving of meat loaf??? It should NOT be a square!
Hick says he was right about the way he wanted to cut the meat loaf. Because it was in half. And that I only want things done MY way. Well. Maybe he should amend that to my way, and the way everybody else in the world slices meat loaf...
I'm wondering if one of Hick's buddies IS the Geico caveman.
My DIL serves herself chicken casserole from the center of the dish!!!! Why???? One should always start at the corner/edge of the pan. Seems obvious to me.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! Even Hick doesn't do THAT! Yet, anyway...
DeletePerhaps she doesn't like the crispy edges?
DeleteA Geico caveman. Awesome reference. I don't usually make M.loaf. It gives me indigestion, but my husband can plow through a meatloaf in 1.5 days. I was told to substitute oatmeal with corn flakes. what do you think?
ReplyDeleteI don't like any meat loaf besides mine. I don't like peppers in it, because it gives me indigestion. Oatmeal in meat loaf? I'm sure that would work, as would cornflakes. Just some kind of filler to soak up some of the fat from the hamburger, and act as a binder. I tear up bread into crumbs for the same effect.
DeleteI see his problem. He heard you say cut it in half, but didn't hear the part where you said to cut just his end piece, so he heard "half" and that's what he tried, to cut the entire meatloaf in half. Good thing you stopped him.
ReplyDeleteI'd already told Hick about the three sections for three days. So he knew we were only eating one section that night. Which I also cut in half. The RIGHT way, heh, heh. It's not like "half" only goes in one direction. But I imagine that's how Hick thinks. He would have been depriving himself of HALF of his crispy end slice by cutting it his way.
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