I left home a little late Thursday, on my way over to Sis-Town for weekly errands. Getting to the bank before it closed was a priority. The Universe chose to put many obstacles in my way, just for chuckles, I suppose. Obstacles like people parked down by mailbox row, waiting for the (summer) school bus. You'd think responsible parents would know to park off the side of our gravel road, and not directly in the driving lanes. Only because they were staggered on both sides that I could weave through.
Makes me wonder, if you're off work at 3:20 p.m., couldn't you just drive the five miles to the elementary school and pick up your kid? Rather than sitting in your car for 20 minutes, waiting for your little darling to endure a wait for the second-run bus, when they're tired and missing you after a hard day at summer school?
Anyhoo... I was a bit preoccupied on my errand trip. When I got to the stoplight in School-Turn Town, the middle of my back was itching severely, right between the shoulder blades. Probably a tendril of my too-long not-so-lovely lady-mullet that had pulled up roots with the intention of running away.
I reached to the back seat floor area for my wooden backscratcher. Not the good red-colored one that is downstairs by my recliner. The wood-colored one that I keep in the seat-back on the passenger side. It always falls sideways in the seat-pocket, so when we went to sign papers on the QuickFlip House, I had The Pony dig it out and lay it where I could reach it.
Ooh! I was so excited that within seconds my itch would be scratched! I grasped that wooden backscratcher and IT WOULDN'T FIT BETWEEN THE SEATS!
What in the Not-Heaven???
I glanced back, and saw that I was holding my CANE! Which I'd put in T-Hoe to go to the paper-signing at the title company, although I hadn't needed to use it. Well. That was embarrassing. And unfortunate, because my back was still itching!
The light turned. Once I made it through the intersection, and was driving on the 35 mph road to the bank, I reached back again. Felt to make sure I had the flat shape of the backscratcher handle. I did. I pulled it forward and jammed the "hand" part of it down my shirt collar, knowing that relief would be imminent.
It was not.
The dang "fingertips" on the "hand" at the end of my backscratcher were too dull! It felt like trying to scratch an itch with the nubby end of a mini carrot!
At least my recent spate of uncooperative Universe shenanigans has not been as severe as that of The Pony.
Too often I manage to get the knuckles on my skin, not the fingers. My backscratcher telescopes, so it twists on the way down my back. So annoying.
ReplyDeleteThat would indeed be annoying. Both of my backscratchers are plain wood, so at least no twisting.
DeleteI have a bamboo scratcher with a claw at the end which is just as sharp as it ever was, I bought it 31 years ago and never let anyone else use it in case they break it. Do you have some way to sharpen yours?
ReplyDeleteI thought about trying to use a nail file for sharpening. Won't hurt anything, and might even work.
DeleteI have been known to grab a big serving spoon when in desperation! We now have back scratchers in every room.
ReplyDeleteThat would be as unsatisfying as my carrot-nub scratcher! But maybe better than nothing.
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