Sunday, June 23, 2024

You Can't Bullcrap a Bullcrapper

The decrepit house across the corner from the Double Hovel flip house went up for sale about a month ago. We have been watching the listing. Not because we are interested in buying it, but because Hick says it is outrageously overpriced. I tend to agree. It is a pukey green color, with a bad roof, and stuff falling apart. The real estate listing only showed six pictures, and all were of the outside. That right there should tell you all you need to know.

Anyhoo... this house has a unique look, vaguely Victorian, but it's not that old. It has two bedrooms, one bath, and a tumbling-down shed. Nothing remarkable. The price was $54,000. That's more than we spent for the Double Hovel, and it has TWO houses! Anyhoo... within a week, the price had been reduced to $49,000. 

Well. Wednesday evening, Hick was looking up stuff on his phone, and saw that Green House had sold on Tuesday, for a price of $42,500. Which Hick still thinks is too much, considering the work that will be needed to make it sellable. Not that he cares. We are not interested.

Friday, Hick stopped by the Double Hovel to kill time while waiting until his Friday afternoon fat-chewing session with his cronies. He's usually getting a shot at that time, but had to go early that day. Anyhoo... a guy working on Green House came over and started talking to Hick.

"Whatchoo got here?"

Hick explained how the main house is renovated and ready to move in, and the Beauty Shop building needs the kitchen and living room finished. Green House Guy lost interest pretty quickly. It's not something he would want to buy, since he seems to be in the flipping business himself. Of course Hick had to put his foot in his mouth as usual.

"I cain't believe what you paid for that house!"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean $42,500 is a lot of money for that."

"We didn't pay $42,500. We paid $34,000! And we've already got it gutted."

Hick thought this was odd, since the house just sold on Tuesday, and the guy said it was gutted shortly after noon on Friday. I guess it's possible. Anyhoo... the guy went on talking.

"We're gonna make $100,000 profit off this house."

"Huh. What are you going to do about the roof?"

"Just leave it. If anything, we'll put a rubber coating on the top. And we'll paint the corrugated metal part. People will think it's cute."

Hick is skeptical. He thinks, minimum, that it will take $50,000 to make that Green House sellable. A profit of $100,000 would put the sale price pretty high for a two-bedroom, one-bath house.

Then again, Hick's not a realtor. But he pretty much knows the cost of goods and labor.

Hick says the house already looks better. They've put a new porch on the front. They plan to put on siding, which will get rid of the pukey green color. Anything they do will help us by improving the neighborhood, so our prospective buyers won't be put off by a falling-down, pukey green house across the corner.


  1. How much to truck the house to NJ, that would jack up the price.

    1. Heh, heh! I don't dare suggest such a venture to Hick. He would buy a truck, convert it into a house-hauler, plot a route that would avoid underpasses, and drive it there himself!

      Hick once brought home a riding lawnmower from NJ when he was there for work, closing down a plant. At least he didn't RIDE IT the whole way.

      Also, Hick cut up a buddy's semi truck, installed hydraulics, and made it into a dump truck. He's handy like that. All for the low, low price of a dinner out for him and me. Sometimes, it's not the payment, but the adventure that's more important to Hick.