Wednesday, February 8, 2023

Val Thevictorian's Traveling Weirdo Magnet Show

No trip to a casino is complete without the activation of Val's weirdo magnet. Must be a family thing, because Sis and the Ex-Mayor also had encounters.

Ex-Mayor was minding his own business, playing on a row of six slot machines, when his magnet reeled in a weirdo.

"She had to come and sit RIGHT BESIDE ME! There were plenty of other slots on the row, but she sat on top of me. She was wild. She had a cigarette in one hand, and was waving it around almost in my face while she used her other hand to spin and rub the machine and gesture all over the place. I was afraid she was going to put my eye out. She was making me nervous. I was afraid to say anything to her, so I just left."

I was sitting with Sis when her weirdo appeared. Actually, Sis had found me, and sat down beside me, not playing a slot, but sideways, talking to me, while waiting for Ex-Mayor to find her. She was enjoying watching me lose my money waiting for a bonus. Then a casino worker pushing a trash cart came down the main aisle.

"Oh, I like your sweater."

"Excuse me?"

Sis wasn't being smart. She can't hear real good in the casino. The Casino Gal tried to repeat herself, but she had a speech impediment and could hardly get it out.

"She said she likes your sweater. It reminds me of a calico cat."

"Maybe more like a merle."

"Or one of those brindle bulldogs."

"Yes. I know all about cats and dogs. I used to do animal rescues."

"Well. Thanks. I guess."

Sis was not being very friendly. I tried to contribute, even though I'm not a people person. For all I know, that Casino Gal was in some kind of therapy and trying to practice her speech. It takes courage to go up to complete strangers and strike up a conversation, even when your speech is impeccable. After she left, Sis was not having it.

"What in the world? Why me? Why would she just come up and comment on my sweater?"

"I don't know. I guess she was just being friendly. She didn't hurt anything."

"Well, she wasn't talking about YOUR clothes. And then you both compared me to an animal!"

Let that be a lesson to you. If you see Sis in a casino, it's best to keep your opinions to yourself.

MY weirdo was annoying in a sneaky way. I was at a round kiosk of six slots. People were playing the two I wanted, but there was another of its kind on the other side. I sat down to play, the two slots on either side of me vacant. After I'd fed that slot a couple twenties, a young woman and man sat down at the slot on my left. They didn't seem to be playing. Just talking. Another young woman sat down at the slot on my right. I think she put money in. 

I started getting an uncomfortable feeling. I looked over my right shoulder, then over my left. Nothing. But I couldn't shake the feeling I was being watched. I turned all the way around, and a young man with floppy hair was standing RIGHT BEHIND ME. Standing. Watching.

"Are you waiting for this machine?"


I pulled out my players card and stood up. "Well, I can't stand someone lurking behind me."

"Did you have any luck?"

"NONE AT ALL." I wanted to add that I hoped he didn't, either. I was ready to leave because that slot was a loser, but I don't appreciate lurkers lurking. Sis says she just keeps sitting there, and gets out her phone, pushing the button every now and then. I've got better things to do than punish weirdos.

The other weirdos trailed me in the bathrooms! It's bad enough that they put the handicap stalls way down at the end. I caned my way down there, the only person in that bathroom of 16 stalls, only to have the next person who entered come to the stall RIGHT BESIDE ME! What's up with that? Any other stall at all to be had, on my side or opposite, but they pick the one right next to me. 

It happened again in the bathroom up front. You can enter that one from either end, and the handicap stalls are in the middle. There must be 36 stalls total in that one. But where did the next person choose to do her business? In the stall on my right! It's almost like they're counting on me to spare a square if they're out of toilet paper.

Anyhoo... Hick is the only one of us who did not have a weirdo encounter. Which begs the question: Is HICK the weirdo?

Tomorrow: some meal talk.


  1. It must be weirdo week in casino town. I always try to pick a stall with no one on either side of me in public toilets, because I don't want hands reaching under asking for paper, or have to listen to someone's conversation on their phone.

    1. Yeah, what kind of weirdo chooses a stall RIGHT NEXT TO SOMEONE! I want to stay as far away from people as possible.

  2. Hick is like The Patient, they must have an invisible weido sheild! They always seem to find me, though.

    1. I agree. They have a magical repulsive quality!

    2. Does this mean that THEY qualify as weirdos?

    3. I think they might. Like how the same ends of magnets repel each other. They could probably get one of those hangy things for the car mirror, to warn others of their weirdo status.