Monday, February 13, 2023

NOT EVEN a Paper-Towel Bag-Fish on Super Bowl Sunday

Let the record show that Val had a birthday last week. You may wonder why I didn't post pictures of all the gifts that were showered upon me. There's a simple explanation. I got NOTHING! Just a card with a signature. The Paper-Towel Bag-Fish was not even for my birthday!

This hardly seems fair. All the years I've made sure Hick had gifts, even though his birthday falls in that awkward pre-Christmas time slot. My best old ex-teaching buddy Mabel sent a text to ask if I had a buttercream icing hangover. Nope. That would mean that somebody had thought enough of me to get me a cake. I'd throw myself a pity party, but that would be sad, such an activity overshadowing the NOTHINGNESS of my birthday festivities. 

Anyhoo... we were invited to the neighbors' Super Bowl party last week. Hick responded that he would be there. They wanted to make sure how much food to prepare. I did not want to go, even though it's just across the gravel road. And it has nothing to do with them having the dogs who killed our 39 chickens a few years back. I'm just not a social butterfly.

Sunday afternoon, as I was on the way to town at 4:00, Hick sent a text that he was tired from working all day in his SUS2 (Storage Unit Store 2), and not going to the Super Bowl party, but coming home instead to take a bath, and did I want him to pick up Captain D's for supper. I did not. Because I was having 4-day-old fried chicken, having planned ahead since he'd be gone. Besides, I'd just HAD fish, the Paper-Towel Bag-Fish, the night before. If only his offer to pick up food had come on my birthday...

Furthermore, I told Hick that was a crappy thing to do, skip the party, after telling them he'd be there. It was supposed to start at 3:00. They had said to come whenever. But nobody was there when I looked down their driveway at 4:00. About an hour later, Hick sent a text that he had stopped by their party on his way home. I assumed he would just put in an appearance, watch the kickoff, and then come home.

Hick appeared at half-time, carrying a six-pack of Michelob Ultra Light with four bottles gone. He said several other neighbors had been there. They had pulled pork sandwiches, something else I don't remember, and PICKLE SOUP. I called BS on that, and Hick swore it was true, that the soup had pickles, potatoes, and bacon. Which I believe is potato soup with pickles added. 

Anyhoo... Hick did not ingratiate himself to me when he added:

"She told me to bring some food home, but I said no."

"WHY? I could have had some tomorrow!"

"Well. I would have had to find a way to carry it home."

What in the NOT-HEAVEN? I'm sure the neighbors had paper towels, and there are still old Walmart bags in SilverRedO...


  1. I am disappointed in Hick (again) when he missed giving you anything for your birthday and wasn't even considerate enough to share the bounty of which he so willingly enjoyed himself. I'm sure they would have provided some foil or a zippy bag to put some of the special treats in. I'm sorry your birthday was such a dud and I do want to wish you a belated happy birthday, although it doesn't seem adequate enough for someone who didn't have a very nice birthday. My birthday is often treated as just another day and mostly I'm okay with that. Although, my husband does usually text me and wish me a happy birthday and my sister does always gift me with something (which either doesn't fit, or I already have too many of or something that I will never use) and even my brother, who rarely talks to anyone, will send a text with a reminder of me being the "big" sister etc. My dad forgot my birthday last year and I told him it wasn't a big deal. (he turned 90 in December and I thought forgetting my birthday wasn't that big of a deal for someone at that age who does pretty good, all in all) His concern was what else was he forgetting? I have to say I am a bit disappointed that neither Genius or the Pony took the time to do something special for their mom. You do so much for all of them. Maybe you should stop so they learn to appreciate you.

    1. I guess I should be used to the lack of celebration by now. Genius called and talked for 90 minutes, which I'm sure was a hardship for him, though he was pleasant and jovial. The Pony will be spending Tuesday with us, and is bringing me some scratchers! He sent a happy birthday by text, late in the day, saying he had neglected to hit "send" the morning of my birthday.

      It's not that I yearn for gifts. I have everything I need, but a sign of appreciation would be nice. Hick backtracked and said he had "thought about" getting me some scratchers, but forgot.

      I had an actual birthday card from my best old ex-teaching buddy Mabel, and a text from Sis pointing out that I was old. So it's not like I sat around in a pointed party hat waiting for people to arrive. It's just that sometimes (once a year, every 10 years or so) I would like some special treatment.

  2. He said no to free food??? I'm stunned. I'm also a bit stunned at 4 day old fried chicken, urk!
    Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! You should have told us, we'd have sent you virtual cake. (no calories)

    1. I know! I guess the free food he carried home in his belly was enough. For HIM. The chicken I got at Country Mart, with a date of Feb 9, and SELL BY Feb 12. So I ate it on the sell-by date. The bag-fish threw me off a day.

      Thank you for the Happy Birthday. I don't like to fish for good wishes and virtual cakes, so I kept that a secret.

  3. I am sorry our men are clueless! I learned to be very specific about my wants long ago. Most of the time he either forgets or buys me something that he longs to own. But, on rare occasion he will surprise me with such thoughtfulness. Like giving me a puppy (Eddie) the year I lost Oscar. My son is very thoughtful an rarely forgets to call me. His twin sister is the opposite and when I am around her I can feel her disapproval of me. Nothing hurts as much as knowing yor child is embarrassed of you. My youngest feels the need to chatise me about any and everything, like I am an errant child. The love of my son is amazing, but it does not wipe out the judgement of his sisters. Happy late birthday.

    1. The year Genius was born in mid-December, Hick got me a Red Devil hand-held vacuum for Christmas. I never asked for one, never spoke of it, and most certainly didn't plan on vacuuming for a while. Coincidentally, Hick needed a Red Devil hand-held vacuum for his workshop... I never saw it again after unwrapping. The best Christmas present I ever got from Hick was my old rolly chair that still sits in my dark basement lair.

      Genius never hesitates to let me know that his world view is far superior to mine. The Pony will play nice and say, "That isn't so," and move on. Neither can have a civil discussion of certain topics, trading facts.