Let the record show that Val had a birthday last week. You may wonder why I didn't post pictures of all the gifts that were showered upon me. There's a simple explanation. I got NOTHING! Just a card with a signature. The Paper-Towel Bag-Fish was not even for my birthday!
This hardly seems fair. All the years I've made sure Hick had gifts, even though his birthday falls in that awkward pre-Christmas time slot. My best old ex-teaching buddy Mabel sent a text to ask if I had a buttercream icing hangover. Nope. That would mean that somebody had thought enough of me to get me a cake. I'd throw myself a pity party, but that would be sad, such an activity overshadowing the NOTHINGNESS of my birthday festivities.
Anyhoo... we were invited to the neighbors' Super Bowl party last week. Hick responded that he would be there. They wanted to make sure how much food to prepare. I did not want to go, even though it's just across the gravel road. And it has nothing to do with them having the dogs who killed our 39 chickens a few years back. I'm just not a social butterfly.
Sunday afternoon, as I was on the way to town at 4:00, Hick sent a text that he was tired from working all day in his SUS2 (Storage Unit Store 2), and not going to the Super Bowl party, but coming home instead to take a bath, and did I want him to pick up Captain D's for supper. I did not. Because I was having 4-day-old fried chicken, having planned ahead since he'd be gone. Besides, I'd just HAD fish, the Paper-Towel Bag-Fish, the night before. If only his offer to pick up food had come on my birthday...
Furthermore, I told Hick that was a crappy thing to do, skip the party, after telling them he'd be there. It was supposed to start at 3:00. They had said to come whenever. But nobody was there when I looked down their driveway at 4:00. About an hour later, Hick sent a text that he had stopped by their party on his way home. I assumed he would just put in an appearance, watch the kickoff, and then come home.
Hick appeared at half-time, carrying a six-pack of Michelob Ultra Light with four bottles gone. He said several other neighbors had been there. They had pulled pork sandwiches, something else I don't remember, and PICKLE SOUP. I called BS on that, and Hick swore it was true, that the soup had pickles, potatoes, and bacon. Which I believe is potato soup with pickles added.
Anyhoo... Hick did not ingratiate himself to me when he added:
"She told me to bring some food home, but I said no."
"WHY? I could have had some tomorrow!"
"Well. I would have had to find a way to carry it home."
What in the NOT-HEAVEN? I'm sure the neighbors had paper towels, and there are still old Walmart bags in SilverRedO...