Tuesday, November 15, 2022

Val Commits Murder and Reveals Her Modus Operandi

On the way to town Monday, there was a bit of trash in my path. It was on the county blacktop road, before the low water bridge. Looked like a wadded-up bag of something. So I steered T-Hoe to straddle it. You don't want to needlessly run over something that might puncture a tire. No telling what was inside that bundle.

As I passed over the obstruction, I saw another such obstacle MOVE! It unfurled itself and ran off the road and into the woods. Huh. It was a squirrel that had been hunkered down with its tail over its back. When I came home, I saw a limp squirrel lying on the pavement near where I had avoided that trash.

WELP! Looks like I murdered a squirrel. He must have knocked himself out by ramming his head into the side of a tire. He wasn't flattened, nor bloody. So it must have been a strong knock in the head.

I'd prefer NOT to kill an animal on the road. But let's face it: squirrels are just rats with more aesthetically-pleasing tails. There are a million more to take that one's place.

If I had kept going without steering to avoid him, that squirrel would probably still be alive. Or at least not dead by the tires of T-Hoe. They survive by darting from predators. So he could have judged my speed and direction, and avoided being hit/hitting the tire. My evasive tactics threw off his timing.

Furry rodents of Backroads, beware the rolling death machine that is piloted by Val.


  1. A rat by any other name is still a rat. And maybe it wasn't you that killed him. Other people drive along that road.

    1. That's true. Like multiple shooters in a firing squad, but only one bullet. Still, the corpse was in the area where I straddled the victim. But when I looked in the mirror after seeing the other squirrel run off the road and into the woods, I did not see any thrashing, nor a body...