Sunday, October 11, 2020

Not-So-Great Schemes in HICKstory

Sometimes, Hick thinks he's outsmarted me. Sometimes, I let him think that. 
 
Like Thursday, when I was trapped in A-Cad with him (and The Pony) for 90 minutes, as he drove us to the casino. A text came in, so Hick took a hand off the wheel to undo the belt holster protecting his new phone, and checked it while driving 70 mph on the being-resurfaced highway that had one blacktop lane, and the original concrete lane five inches lower.
 
"I've got two guns lined up to buy tomorrow morning, but I might need to borrow some money from us."

"I don't think so."

"What do you mean, you don't think so? It's MY money, too."

"Not to use for buying guns for your Storage Unit Store! That's on you. If you don't have enough money, then you can't buy more."

"Don't you make fun of my store!"

"I'm NOT making fun of your store. You make good money at your store. You pay your rent for the double-unit six months ahead. You have your own money to gamble with. But you also have a lot of money tied up in guns."

"I MAKE money on guns, Val! You don't understand how it works."

"I'm pretty sure I DO understand how it works. You probably have 50-100 guns. It's almost winter! You're not going to be opening up your store in the winter."

"I do NOT have 100 guns!"

The Pony and I cut eyes at each other. "Well. I guess we know how many Dad has now..."

"If you want money to buy more guns, then SELL SOME GUNS!"

"It ain't that easy, Val!"

"AHA! You just admitted that IT'S NOT EASY TO SELL THEM!"

"You know what I mean. I sold them last winter. From March on."

"Dad. You have to admit, March is not actually winter. It's more spring."

"Val. We loaned me the money to buy my 18 storage units, and I paid that back."

"Yeah. We provided you the start-up money for your little business. And you paid it back in two months."

"I'll pay this back, too. It's not YOUR money. It's OUR money."

"We have it because I hold you back when you try stuff like this. What have I ever gotten out of OUR money? Nothing. But YOU have bought another tractor without selling the first one like you promised, and went out and bought a new lawnmower, not even telling me but letting me find out when you rode it past the porch while mowing!"

"Those were things for the house. We needed them. If I need to borrow to buy guns, I will."

"That's not a smart idea. And I'll charge you interest."

"I don't care! CHARGE me interest! When I pay it back, half the interest is MINE!"

"Heh, heh! It's not like you're going to GET it. It will go right back with OUR money."

"YOU don't get it either!"

"I have no intention of taking it. But we're not a bank for you to borrow from for your business!"

Here's the thing. Hick was SO excited at his revelation that he'd be getting HALF the INTEREST when he paid back his "loan." Forgetting that he's the one PAYING ALL THE INTEREST! Out of his Storage Unit Profits! To get nothing back but his regular half-share of our rainy-day household funds, which lie dormant until there's a rainy-day necessity.

Check me if I'm wrong, but I think this discussion of the wise use of our finances might fall under the category of IRONY, since we were driving to the casino at the time...

8 comments:

  1. So, did he win enough to make his intended purchases, or are you on the hook for the "loan"?

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    1. NO! Because he lost money at the casino (as usual).

      However, Hick sometimes has buyers show up early at his UNIT, so I'm guessing he turned over enough money to buy what was intended. He has not asked again. Yet neither have I checked the safes for an inside job!

      Delete
  2. The mortgage on our townhome is in my name...I pay the mortgage every month. The townhome is soley in Mrs. C's name...I think I've been Hicked!

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    1. I'm sure Mrs. C did that for your own good. Pretty sure. Assume so...

      Perhaps it was to prevent someone else from laying claim to your assets. She may be a genius, but not an evil genius!

      Delete
  3. He made a good argument...lol. Well, someone has to check spending, and I am guessing that is you. Good job!

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    1. If you ever find a pair of jeans in Goodwill, with holes burned into the pockets... they probably belonged to Hick.

      His attitude is that you can't take it with you, and our boys have gotten a college education, debt-free, and can make their own way in the world when we're gone.

      Delete
  4. I had trouble with the my money, your money too, when I was married. Hubby had his wages from his job, his money, and a fortnightly pension from his army years, our money, and I had wages from my job, my money. Yet I was always helping him out with the bills we'd agreed that HE would pay as well me paying the bills we had agreed I would pay on top of me buying all the groceries. The pension was supposed to pay the mortgage on the house with left over $$ to be left for emergencies. He seemed to always be needing money from me and one day I found out where all his money was going, including the mortgage $$, but I can't write that here. Needless to say I've been very protective of MY money ever since.

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    Replies
    1. OURS is all our former wages and retirement and savings built up, and investments. A common pot from which to pay all the bills and groceries, and gas for A-Cad if we take a trip together. We keep a stash of cash on hand for things that come up, like air conditioner repair, or new tires, or gravel to contribute to the road upkeep.

      The MY money and HIS money come from our weekly cash allowance. We can each do what we want with that. MINE goes to 44 oz Diet Cokes and Dairy Queen lunch and T-Hoe's gas and scratchers. HIS goes to lunch and gas for SilverRedO and Goodwill and auctions to buy merch for his Storage Unit Store.

      The problem comes when HE wants something that he says is for the house, and I disagree. Like stuff to build more themed sheds. I think that is his hobby, and he should use his own money. He uses them to store the "treasures" he keeps collecting. I don't see how it benefits the household. I don't ask for (or take) household money for my scratchers, or the casino. Those are MY hobbies.

      Delete