Yesterday, Hick sat down on the long couch to box up Genius's stuff left here at Christmas. We had our gifts for him delivered to his Pittsburgh apartment, but my sister the ex-mayor's wife and her family gave him their gifts on Christmas Eve. Since Genius was headed out west on a ski trip, with only a carry-on bag, he left his gifts behind for us to mail later.
Hick actually found the perfect size box to stow away Genius's gifts. Good thing we're hoarders and didn't rush to throw away any Christmas boxes! The only breakable items were two tumblers with the St. Louis Blues logo. Genius had given Hick specific instructions: "Don't break my glasses!"
My idea was to wrap them up in a couple of washcloths. So they wouldn't clink together, and would have a little cushion. Oh, no. That was not in Hick's plan. He said he knew just what to do with those tumblers. Imagine my surprise when he went to the kitchen, and came back with four Walmart bags. Yes. The plastic bags.
Short of blowing up those bags, assuming they didn't have the little holes near the bottom seam, to get a cushiony balloon after tying the top...I don't know how plastic Walmart bags can absorb the shock of shipping glassware. Do you?
Anyhoo, that's what Hick did. In spite of me telling him to at least layer some paper towels in there. He said it was all fine. Closed the flaps. And taped that box seven ways to Sunday. On his final circumference of tape, I said,
"Oh. I wish I'd put in a couple of scratchers for Genius."
Heh, heh. That was just to get Hick all wound up. It worked.
"Val! I just finished taping the box! I am NOT undoing it for lottery tickets!"
Then Hick moved on to wrapping some items for his brother and his brother's wife. They live in Las Vegas. Hick visited them in October. When we went to meet The Pony to bring him home for Christmas, Hick said,
"I need to stop and get a t-shirt for Wifey. I was telling them we had a town called Uranaus, and she really wanted a shirt from there."
"Well. I am NOT going in Uranus!"
"Heh, heh. I know. I'll get stop on the way back, when you're riding with The Pony."
Of course The Pony and I had a grand time discussing it, once he was informed.
"Looks like we lost Dad. I thought he'd be passing us by now. I haven't seen him since the rest area."
"Dad is in Uranus."
I will spare you further conversation. Let the record show that Uranus is on I-44, and was founded by a man who is the mayor and everything else of the town. I think the population is 6. It's basically a roadside tourist trap, and has many catchy billboards.
Anyhoo...Hick found a flat box for shipping Brother and Wifey's stuff. He had a framed newspaper thing about Elvis, and a couple more Elvis memorabilia things for Brother. Of course Hick laid the frame face down, and put some Walmart bags on the back. Then the other things and the t-shirt on top.
"I guess that will protect the glass enough."
"Huh. I would probably use that roll of bubble wrap on the shelf under the TV."
"WHAT? I didn't know that was there!"
He only sits there looking six inches above it every night while he watches TV. Since I pointed it out, he forsook the Walmart bags, unpacked the items, put the bubble wrap under the frame and curved over the ends, and added the other stuff on top. A final piece of another box, torn up, was added on the very top, to hold everything in place. I'd like to think I'm the Svengali behind Hick's future career as a wrapper.
Oh, yeah. The t-shirt? I asked Hick to hold it up. It had a logo, with URANUS at the top, and LIQUORS at the bottom. Say it out loud. Uh huh.
Val is not the only one around these parts with a the sense of humor of a 13-year-old.
Well my 13 yo self is still giggling!
ReplyDeleteMrs. C also brags when we need a box and she has one because she did not toss it when I told her to. I remind her that the local liquor store is always chucking boxes that all their booze come in and are glad to just give them away. She claims it is not the same.
The minute Hick started wrapping tape around that box, I wished I had taken a picture of the t-shirt! Oh, well. I'm sure Hick would be open to another trip into Uranus!
DeleteNow that Mrs. C knows about all those liquor store boxes, free for the taking, you might want to get a new storage unit just for boxes you might need some day.
I have a box that I flattened before thinking what I could use it for, now I need to tape it back to box shape for my snow globes. Which I will wrap in bubble wrap which brings me to my question. Why didn't you mention the bubble wrap when Hick was wrapping Genius's glasses??
ReplyDeletejoeh has a great idea about the liquor store boxes, they are very sturdy, having to hold up to a dozen bottles of wine safely throughout transport and if I was moving house I'd get on down to the local bottle shop and get some boxes to pack my glasses and framed photos in.
I actually forgot about the bubble wrap myself. The tumblers were in a box of other boxes and some softer items, and could be separated from each other. Short of the box being crushed, they'll probably be fine. Even with just a thin layer of Walmart plastic surrounding them.
DeleteIt was the big bubble wrap, which would have needed cutting and taping to stay around the tumblers. But really, I wasn't associating the bubble wrap with the tumblers. That flat picture frame laying on the bottom of the box needed it much more.
I can get boxes any time at Save A Lot, but they don't have tops. No good for shipping. I guess I could start frequenting the Drive-Thru Liquor Store (not associated with Uranus Liquors, heh, heh) for sturdy boxes. I've never driven through, or been inside, but I took The Pony there to pick up wine for Christmas Eve at the home of my sister the ex-mayor's wife.
Doesn't back roads post office ask about the contents of the package? Ours always reads off a list: does your package contain GLASS, flamables, ... Maybe they asked Hick and he's a story teller. There was time when the post office made you leave the wrapping paper off, and the shipping boxes open, and then you sealed at the post office after they inspected for contraband. Hope everything arrived in good shape.
ReplyDeleteThe post office does ask. About lithium batteries, and maybe glass. But Hick took his boxes to the UPS store.
DeleteOoh! I've never been inspected at the post office! Package should arrive Thursday, so we'll find out if Genius's stuff survived. The brother won't get his until Monday. That's a long time for Uranus to be closed up in a box!
Poop jokes, men start them at 3 and it never ends.
ReplyDeleteAt least they're staying out of trouble for a few minutes while they're making poop jokes!
DeleteYou just can not say URANUS enough! Always funny.
ReplyDeleteMy 13-year-old-self agrees! It took Hick a long time to catch up to us, because he was so absorbed with everything in Uranus. Took him a while to choose.
DeleteHicks should know by now that you are a font of wisdom. Men still giggle at stuff having to do with poor and pee, even when they are 69.
ReplyDeleteHick is not wont to accept my font-ness! But he is thrilled at driving through Uranus.
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