The plan was to cook a pot of beans, using an unopened ham left from Christmas. The spare ham. Just a little one, fully cooked, already sliced. The issue is not with the ham.
I poured my two-pound bag of Great Northern beans into a large pot around 10:00 p.m. Monday. To soak overnight. Sometimes I remember, and sometimes I do the quick-boil method. But this time, I remembered. The beans looked ready on Tuesday morning. I poured out the water, and rinsed them twice. I added 8 cups of hot water to begin the cooking, even though the directions say 6 cups. I like a little soup to my beans, for adding cornbread.
The ham was quickly cut up and added to the pot. Along with minced garlic, salt and pepper, and...um...I WAS OUT OF SWEET BANANA PEPPER RINGS! I always add some pepper juice, and some diced pepper rings. Oh, well. I could pick that up at the store later, and add before warming the beans for supper.
I adjusted the temperature to just-below medium-high. Left the lid ajar. Like I've done hundreds of times. When I checked back an hour and twenty minutes later, the beans looked just right. But they were low on fluid. It was barely at the top of the bean level. I needed that juice for the cornbread. I added another two cups of hot water, set the beans back on the burner, tilted the lid to let out steam, and took a bathroom break. The plan being to come back, take the beans off the burner, give them a stir, and let them sit and cool a bit. They were done. I had tasted them, and the beans were of the right consistency. I only wanted that water to mingle for a minute with the other juices.
When I came back, only five minutes later (yes, I washed my hands), I put the long plastic spoon in to give them a stir.
WHAT IN THE NOT-HEAVEN?
My beans were now stuck to the bottom of the pan! In only five minutes! With water just added! Such a calamity! AND, they now tasted BURNT! Dang it! A whole pot of beans down the drain! I wasn't ready to give up on those beans. I set them aside, and went to turn HIPPY back on. According to the innernets, there were several ways I might be able to save my beans.
A POTATO. Put a potato in, to soak up the burnt taste. I tried, not very hopeful. Only as a stopgap method while I rounded up the other possible antidotes. Which was a good thing, because after 10 minutes, the (peeled and halved) potato had done nothing.
APPLE CIDER VINEGAR. I had some hope for this one. After all, I was lacking my sweet banana pepper juice, so I needed something acidic anyway. The idea was to add a tablespoon at a time until the burnt taste was gone. I gave it a try, but after the first tablespoon, I could tell NOTHING had changed. So I went to the last suggestion.
PEANUT BUTTER. I don't know how this was supposed to work, but I faithfully added a tablespoon of peanut butter to my burnt beans.
THAT WAS INCREDIBLE! THE BURNT TASTE WAS GONE!
I added another tablespoon for good measure. Then went to the store for my pepper juice. Added it, and some more minced garlic. Ground some more salt and pepper.
Those beans were just like new! Cooked new. Not hard, out-of-the-bag new.
Not a pretty presentation, but I guarantee that these beans were made by me, burned by me, and fixed up as good as new by a tip I got off the internet! Oh, and I also guarantee that there are actually beans under all the toppings!
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Let the record further show that I do not recommend serving such doctored beans to a person with a peanut allergy.
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That is amazing.
ReplyDeleteI thought so, too! Hope I don't have to use this rescue method again, but at least it's in my repertoire now.
DeleteDid you figure out what happened to all the water so fast?
ReplyDeleteAfter I added more water to my perfect beans(!), there was still some water over the top when I came back. I don't know why they stuck and burned. There was more water than before! Maybe stirring it with the added water had let solid particles settle to the bottom? So that's what burned, rather than slightly buoyant whole beans bouncing around in the boiling bubbles?
DeleteWhat are all the chopped white bits? Onions? The recipe doesn't say onions and they don't look like they were cooked with the beans, so is that the base you serve them on? not that it matters, it isn't a recipe I'd want to be trying any time soon. Or ever. my electric hotplates just LOVE to sneakily burn stuff the minute you turn your back.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, that's diced onion! We add them before eating, we don't cook them. We like the crunch. A layer of cornbread, some pepper juice, then the beans, then diced onions and sweet banana peppers and crumbled cornbread on top.
DeleteI think my stove has been taking lessons from your hotplates!
The Almighty Internets come through once again!
ReplyDeleteGood darn thing! I didn't want to toss all that effort out for the dogs. Even though cutting open a bag of beans, pouring them into a pan, adding water, and cutting up some sliced ham isn't really that much effort...
DeleteI love beans, but I have never burned them before. Peanut butter, who knew?
ReplyDeleteNot me, but I'm glad I know NOW!
DeleteI have used the potato before with success and failure. Never tried peanut butter, but good to know! I think I will put some beans in a pot to soak. Too bad HeWho can't have ham!!
ReplyDeleteHeWho probably shouldn't have the sweet banana pepper rings, either, due to salt. But you can load him up with onions on his beans!
DeleteDon't feel obligated to burn your beans, just to try out the peanut butter miracle cure! On the third night of warming the leftovers, I detected a bit of scorch flavor when I stirred them and licked the spoon. Probably because I KNEW they had been burnt. Another little dose of peanut butter, and VOILA! Like new again!