Sunday, February 24, 2019

Oh, the Hick Gives Pointy Knives, Dear, and He Makes Them Floral Print

I might have accidentally let it slip, on rare occasion, that I think Hick might be trying to kill me. You recall that he gave me a birthday present of ceramic knives.* I was quite pleased with a second set of these incredibly sharp implements, because they cut through everything like butter. With the exception of that pesky cardboard circle that I cooked under my pizza...

We had that same kind of pizza again last week. I reached for my ceramic knife to cut it. Not the very newest set, they were still in the package. I used my Christmas knife. It worked great, especially without that cardboard circle. After slicing, I took my ceramic knife over to the sink, to pre-rinse the cheese off the blade. It's really hard to get pizza cheese off knife blades later! I've discovered (call me Magellan Columbus da Gama de Leon) that if I rub a little soap on the cheesy blade, and scrape it with my thumbnail, it washes a lot easier later.

I had not yet tried this pre-cleaning treatment on my ceramic knife. Last time, I'd started slicing the pizza with my giant black-handled butcher knife. By the time I switched to the ceramic knife, the cheese had cooled enough to not be sticky. So I had no inkling that rubbing my thumbnail and index finger along a ceramic blade would not be a good idea.


Ceramic knives slice fingers in the most awkward of places. I had no bandaids available in the kitchen. You'd think that's where I should keep them. I had to swaddle my dripping digit (pictures comin' up, be prepared to look away!) in a Puffs With Lotion, and go to the master bathroom to ransack the medicine cabinet. Of course we had every kind of bandaid but the one I needed, a small round or square one to soak up blood. We had the four-prong sticky-thingy kind, like for putting on a finger joint. Giant bandaids for covering skinned knees and scraped shins. And these Scooby Doos left over from when the kids were little. I really need to put bandaids on my shopping list. One of those multi-packs.

Anyhoo... here comes the actual injury.


Please pardon the cheese and yellow pepper fragments. I had not yet washed my hands, but had only daubed to stem the blood flow a couple of times.


You might say to yourself, or out loud so all around you can hear, "Val! You were in no danger of dying! Stop saying that Hick is trying to kill you!" Well. If that's the case, YOU are someone I don't want on Hick's jury after he succeeds! I only survived because I am no longer taking that demon drug Xarelto, which could have caused me to exsanguinate right there on the kitchen floor!

Anyhoo... this near-death-inducing injury (I have not checked my life line, but you can, if you're a chiromancer), was not painful. It was awkward. Do you know how hard it is to type on New Delly's keyboard while wearing Scooby Doo on the tip of your finger? It's difficult.

*Uh huh, who's proved to be prophetic with this title, now?

19 comments:

  1. Get yourself one of those specialty pizza rolling cutter devises, much safer and work better too.

    Those ceramic knives are sneaky sharp.

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    1. Maybe Hick has an ulterior motive... seeing as how this is the second set of sneaky-sharp knives he has given me.

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  2. I made the mistake of purchasing a box of bandaids in bright colors at the Dollar Tree. I wanted to have them on hand if swimmers came in with a scrape. I will stick to brand names on that product. They are terrible and do not stay stuck. the bright colors make them easy to spot in the water or on the surround to pick up. You don't think they will take advantage of the trash can, do you?

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    1. Beware of kids needing bandaids for week-old scabbed injuries. I got that all the time at school, if the bandaids were appealing to kids. At least I didn't have to pick them out of a pool. But I did have to pick them off the floor. Amazing how kids will freak out if they see a discarded bandaid within 40 feet of them. Who knew kids were so health conscious, worried about catching the plague, airborne, with no breeze.

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  3. I use a cleaver with a blade large enough to cover the pizza from one side to the other, just position it, press down with the other hand and rock it from top to bottom. The I wipe off the cheese right away with a piece of folded towel. There are times I'll cut the pizza with kitchen shears like my oldest daughter does, but even then, the blades get wiped right away with folded paper towel, with the sharp edge being inside the fold of the paper towel for both methods. I don't like the rolling pizza cutters, they do a good job, but a wheel that rolls when you are trying to clean it isn't fun.

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    1. I've seen those on TV. It would probably even cut the CARDBOARD left on the bottom of the pizza! I've tried a paper towel, but it stuck to the cheese.

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    2. I don't know about your cheese, Jersey pizza cheese does not stick to the knife, only a little sauce. The roller thing cleans up with just hot water from the faucet.

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    3. To be fair, this wasn't a gourmet pizza. Or even DiGiorno. Just a Save-A-Lot bake-at-home pizza from the refrigerator case. I can't even verify how "real" the cheese was!

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    4. yep, the cheese sticks to the cleaver, then sticks to the paper towel, but it's only a tiny bit of cheese, so I don't feel any regret when I bin that paper towel. And it makes washing up the cleaver so much easier.

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    5. Heh, heh! That "washing up the cleaver" part makes me think of a heinous-crime scene!

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  4. "four-prong sticky thingy for finger joints"? picture please. I've never heard of them.

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    1. I'll see what I can do. Meaning, if my short attention span doesn't prevent me, I can get a picture.

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    2. I pictured a butterfly bandage.

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    3. It's kind of like the opposite of the butterfly bandage. I'll have to get a picture. Regular size bandage part in the middle, and two thin strips of adhesive on each side. I saw a picture of one that was called a "knuckle bandage."

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    4. Aha! I think I've seen those, but not recently. Supermarkets here just have regular, extra wide and those "assorted" boxes. I think I saw the knuckle ones in a chemist (pharmacy) by the sporting bandages.

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    5. Those also work on the end of a finger, I have used them and it helps it stay on.

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    6. It would have been very bulky in the location of my wound. I'm a bad enough typer as it is.

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  5. One question, do you have a lifeline call button?

    We bought bandaids that my skin is allergic to, so I would have double wounds.

    Those knives are so pretty, though.

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    1. No, but my favorite gambling aunt does! I don't think she'd be much help for me. So sad that your bandaids added insult to your injury.

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