I'm Pretty Sure They Do This On Purpose

After leaving Hick at the car dealer to drive his new used truck home, I stopped by Country Mart to pick up supplies for Hick's SuperBowlPalooza. Oh, he doesn't invite anyone over. It's just him. When the boys lived at home, he tried to make them watch. The Pony would grudgingly come out of his room, sit on the couch with his GameBoy for about a quarter, then somehow disappear without Hick noticing. Genius would usually hang on until halftime. That might have been because he remembered the Janet Jackson halftime show from the year he was nine, but I think more likely it was due to the snacks.

In fact, Genius himself suffered a Super Bowl injury during his high school years, and still carries the scar to this day. He had an unfortunate potato skins incident, wherein he sizzled his forearm on the bright orange heating element at the top of the oven. Right after I said, "Be careful reaching in there!"

Anyhoo... Hick's preferred menu includes boneless BBQ chicken wings, chili-cheese dip with Scoops, french onion dip with Ruffles, potato skins with cheese and bacon, and taquitos with salsa. Oops! That reminds me! He usually likes Hot Wing Dip. I might need to add a dish.

Anyhoo... I was picking up some of the stuff I don't already have at home, plus bread and Hick's individual ice cream cups. While waiting in line, I saw a bargain display. Country Mart does this a lot. This time it was a cart full of boxes of Premium Saltines. Well! I was raised on Premium Saltines! They're the best cracker ever!

I remembered that we were having chili for supper (or so I planned). The last time I recalled buying crackers was during the first cold snap. Heh, heh. I think that's when temps dropped into the fifties! Way before Christmas. I'd made some chili then. Those crackers were probably expired by now. Or stale. So what better time to pick up some Premium Saltines for $.99 out of the bargain cart?

While I was waiting for the man ahead of me to finish paying, I wondered how the register was going to know that these saltines were from the bargain cart. It said on the sign hanging on the cart, "THESE BOXES ONLY." I didn't see any price tags at all on the boxes. But surely I wouldn't need to worry. The checker had finished up with the other guy, and saw me grab a box of Premium Saltines out of the cart to add to the conveyor.

I was already out in T-Hoe, shivering, writing down the total from the receipt into my checkbook, when I noticed that the checker had CHARGED ME FULL PRICE for my Premium Saltines! Not $.99, but instead $2.50!

Was it worth taking that receipt back inside to wait in line and confront the checker? Or go to the service desk and assume they would believe me about where I picked up my box of crackers? No. It was not. Would it pauperize me to pay the extra $1.51? No. It would not.

Here's the thing. Offering items on sale gives the impression that they will be a bargain. That I'll save money. I didn't know what Premium Saltines usually cost, but the sign taped to the cart advertising them for $.99 led me to believe that they usually cost more than $.99. So I thought I was getting a good deal. I did not. I wouldn't even have bought crackers except that I thought I was serving chili for supper, not thawed-out frozen vegetable beef soup.

Uh huh. I got cheated buying crackers for the chili I never even had! Worse than that, my BARGAIN crackers had an expiration date of Jan 2019. The ones at home I gave to the dogs expired in Dec 2018. I'm pretty sure I would not have known the difference.

I wouldn't even have eaten crackers if I hadn't just paid a fortune for them. I wouldn't have just paid a fortune for them if I knew I'd be having soup instead of chili.