Val and Hick Imbibe a La Croix

Ever since CasinoPalooza 3, Genius has been pushing me to try La Croix. His favorite drink. Well, if you don't count any form of alcohol. During the icy weather, when Hick took me shopping, we saw a 12-pack of La Croix in cans, near Hick's special Strawberry Water. I didn't want to get that much, but Hick said he'd try it. He was dubious about the Cran-Raspberry, but that's the flavor Genius said was best. He also decreed that it should be ICE COLD when we tried it. Hick was the first to take the plunge, and he said it was, "Okay."

I find it to be an acquired taste. One which I have not yet acquired. It's like beer. It doesn't really taste good, but you can tolerate it for the results. I wouldn't rank it up there with The Beast (Milwaukee's Best). More like Busch, but not as bad as Budweiser. I'm sure the Cran-Raspberry flavor is a delicacy for some. Not for this ol' Val, though.

Perhaps my La Croix would have tasted better on a sweltering summer day, after I'd used an old push mower with revolving bladed cylinder to mow the front yard and BARn field. It was not so much a treat in my dark basement lair, with temperatures in the 20s outside, seeping through the concrete walls. It's the taste that keeps on giving, too. When I burp, I can reminisce about my Cran-Raspberry La Croix.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful. It's an experience I will cherish. I would have another La Croix. Perhaps if the power went out and the well wouldn't work and I checked my leathery old lady flesh by lifting a swatch of skin on the back of my hand, and saw that I was severely dehydrated. It would definitely be better than Bear Grylls's method of soaking my t-shirt with urine and wringing that moisture into my upturned mouth.

I could also imagine that my can of La Croix would be most welcome if I was nervously awaiting surgery in the pre-op room, and had been given a tiny plastic cup of liquid sedative to calm my nerves. Because I think the carbonation might speed the absorption of the medicine. At least that's why the nurses said they gave The Pony a sip of Dr. Pepper with his liquid shot before his elbow surgery.

My La Croix was much more flavorful than I anticipated. Robust, almost. The thing is, the Cran-Raspberry reminded me very much of a red creme soda. I don't like red creme soda. So that might be what is keeping me from giving La Croix a raving review. A lemon lime flavor might be more pleasing to my palate.

You're not gonna believe this, but when I watched Celebrity Big Brother a few hours after starting this draft on Wednesday night, I saw several 12 PACKS OF GREEN LA CROIX in their storage room! I couldn't see the flavor, but I definitely saw LA CROIX on the side of the boxes. I'd seen the Houseguests, on the Big Brother After Dark live shows, drinking out of green cans. I figured they were all Sprite lovers, but with the generic soda that Big Brother cheaply furnishes. Looks like production went all-out with the celebrity Houseguests, giving them hoity-toity La Croix.

I checked the 12-pack box of our La Croix on the kitchen table, and it looks like there are only 2 or 4 left. I guess Hick likes it better than he first professed.

Anyhoo... I'll probably try the green kind of La Croix, if I can find it in less than a 12-pack. Not that it's so expensive for us elderly paupers. I just have a hard time wasting things. Which is why I buy the 8-packs of little Diet Coke bottles, which cost twice as much at the 20 oz bottle 6-packs of Hick's Diet Mountain Dew.

I guess money is something it doesn't bother me to waste.