Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Val Has a Case of READ Rage

Let the record show that Thevictorian is not a grammarian. I don't care if people use questionable punctuation, misspell, or creatively capitalize. I'm not a deputy in the Grammar Police. So you'll not see me pointing out people's accidental or well-intended mistakes with the English language. As long as I get their drift, it's of no consequence to me.

I do, however, have a problem with people not caring enough to do a simple Google search for common sayings. It would take 30 seconds. Don't be a hard-head like Genius, and ASSume you are right. Uh huh. I'm talkin' about "coming down the pipe." NO! It's coming down the PIKE, for cryin' out loud. Genius and I go 'round with this at least once a year. And he usually throws in "dead as a doorknob," too. Which we all know should be DOORNAIL! Right? We know that, don't we?

Over the years, I know I've mentioned this peeve. Don't think I'm singling out any of my regulars. I'm reading this stuff across the innernets. I'm sure I shared the "icy on the cake" phrase with you. And "tow the line." What does that even MEAN? How hard is it to TOW a line? What are all these people doing, moving ships along the Erie Canal? It's TOE the line, people! Obey the rules.

Don't even get me started again on WALA instead of VOILA!

Anyhoo...all this pent-up pissiness came to a head today because I had nothing else to write about when I saw another outrageous trigger phrase. Uh huh. Val got a case of READ RAGE. I can't even remember what I was reading, or the exact quote. I should have saved it. But here's the idea. It was a comment about certain people not being responsible for the failure or success of a venture, because they were not the brains behind it, but only carrying out somebody else's bidding.

"They're just Aaron boys."

WHAT IN THE NOT-HEAVEN? Even my sworn enemy, Autocorrect, would not substitute Aaron for errand!

Seriously, people. Get a clue.

12 comments:

  1. I am with you 100% on the annoyance of these sayings.
    Get It Right People!
    I haven't ever seen the "icy on the cake" until now though.
    I saw one just yesterday, can't even remember what it was now, but it had me clenching my jaw and silently going Aaaarrrgh! in my head.

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    1. Yeah, I will start compiling my unofficial list as I see them, because I always forget.

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  2. One of my pet peeves is "I could care less." It's "I COULDN'T care less."

    Perhaps we could create a common saying school--for youngsters, hipsters and oldsters.

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    1. Ooh, my aunt used to dwell on that one. Not my favorite gambling aunt, the wife of my dad's brother, but my junior high PE teacher aunt, the wife of my mom's brother.

      I don't think I could deal with a common saying school. I'd have better luck teaching goldfish, because they have a longer attention span.

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  3. Though from my research, it is unquestionably "dead as a door nail," doorknob is acceptable though clearly doorknob is a result of bastardizing door nail. I have always heard doorknob and I say dead as a doorknob, and after all a doorknob is not only merely dead, it is really most sincerely dead.

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    1. As mayor of Shackytown City, I agree about the deadness of a doorknob. But in my opinion, only bastardizers use the door KNOB.

      Let the record show that I am not a fan of progress, and feel that phrases should remain in the form in which they were coined. what are the bastardizers going to do next? Lead a horse to an Iced Caramel Macchiato, and not make him drink?

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  4. My sweet baboo is forever confusing his colloquialisms. I try to overlook it, because correcting him does not work. You should hear him sing a song; he makes up his own lyrics.

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    1. I am reminded of a question by Luka on ER many years ago, when Abby was perturbed with him. "What's the matter, why do you have an insect up your anus?" At least he had the right premise.

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  5. I would like to add, for your perusal,

    “You’ve got another thing coming.”
    “Statue of limitations.”
    “For all intensive purposes.”
    “Mute point.”
    “Take it for granite.”
    “Nip it in the butt.”

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    1. Yes! It makes me want to call the grammar police on those who are planning to party HARDY. It's a DOGGY-DOG world, you know.

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