Friday, July 20, 2018

Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday #108 "Spots and Soft Leather Got Together"

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday. I have 150 words to convince you to fake-buy my fake book. This week's fake book is a beautiful love story. A tale of a romance such as the world has never seen. And hopes never to see again. Tired of coughing up cash to take your honey to see a chick flick? Cough up a little less, and buy her this fake chick-book.


Spots and Soft Leather Got Together

Ol' Blue and L'il White-Tail have stopped hunting for love. They've found each other against all odds. Their families aren't exactly thrilled. More like appalled. Li'l White-Tail's family thinks Ol' Blue is just stringing her along until she fattens up, and his ulterior motive involves his hound-dog appetite. Ol' Blue's family...well, they don't have an opinion, because he's so old that he's outlived them all.

Ol' Blue wants Li'l White-Tail by his side, away from all other predators. When his Man builds a campfire, Ol' Blue noses Li'l White-Tail closer and closer. To keep her warm, of course. And he is constantly grooming her with his long tongue. She's much-loved...and tastes so good...

Will Ol' Blue and Li'l White-Tail grow old(er) together? Or will an unfortunate "accident" rip (one of) them apart? (132 words)
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Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book

Doe, a Deer, a female deer..."My friend Ray shed some light on this fake book. He says Thevictorian sucks the golden drop of sun out of everything she fake-writes. Me, I say you'd have to run pretty far to find a worse fake-book than this. So, unlike a needle pulling thread, take note that this fake book will not keep you in stitches. Sorry for spilling the tea before you had a chance to fake-buy it, but you can find a better fake-read to go with your jam and bread."

Old Yeller..."HEAR ME, HEAR ME! The great tragedy of this fake book is that you're still alive at the end. To suffer, realizing what you just fake-read."

Bambi..."Let's hope that a raging forest fire destroys the trees destined to print Thevictorian's next fake book before it's too late. Thevictorian's fake career is skating on thin ice."

Lassie..."I fake-bought as many of these fake books as was caninely possible. I am stockpiling them for the next time Timmy falls down a well. By tossing them in, I figure they will absorb all the water, this fake book being such a dry read...and allow Timmy to climb up the stack and out the top."

The Yearling..."Well, shoot! Somebody needs to put Thevictorian out of our misery. Her corny fake-writing will make you cry out of pity for yourself, for having fake-read it."

Spuds MacKenzie..."Hey, Bud! I'm wiser than you if you're planning to fake-read this fake book. Trust me, having fake-read another of Thevictorian's fake works, all I can say is, 'I need a drink!'"

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer..."I once helped give someone Thevictorian's fake book as a gift, and boy is my nose red! I never would have done that, had I know the true spirit of her fake writing. Thevictorian's fake works should bear a sticker on the cover that says, 'For Those on the Naughty List Only!'"

Toto..."I'd rather be sitting in a basket on the back of Miss Gulch's bicycle, swirling around in a Kansas tornado, than read another fake book by Thevictorian. Fake-reading this one was like laying down in a giant field of poppies to sleep for eternity."

6 comments:

  1. I'm definitely NOT fake-buying this one. I suspect it has a sad ending, for Li'l White-Tail at least, and I prefer happy endings.

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    1. This might be the best case ever of saving fake-money!

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  2. I foresee deer sausage in this tome. You could crank these reviews out all day, you are so funny. I hate to break it to you, but you may get rich faster finding pennies. LOL

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    1. Mmm, deer sausage. I MEAN--that would be tragic! As for getting rich in either endeavor...I won't give up my day not-job.

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  3. Like Captain and Tenille said, "Love will keep them together!" LOL

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    1. Yes, let's hope they have a strong "muskrat" love!

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