Hick's Mouth is Writing Checks His Butt Can't Collect Cash For

Poor Hick has a thankless, unpaid job. No, we're not talking about being married to Val.

Hick has always helped take care of the roads out here in our enclave. Now, he's about the only one doing anything to them. The recent evening downpours have taken their toll, creating ruts, and washing out rock from along the edges. In the past, Hick and a couple other guys with tractors have given their time and gas money to redistribute washed-away rock. A small contingent of residents have also chipped in money for loads of rock.

A couple times a year, it's evident that more rock is needed. Usually after the spring thaw, and after a rainy summer. Now that Hick is on a Facebook group with other enclave-dwellers, he sees them posting about how the roads are a mess/somebody needs to do something about them. You might recall how the last time Hick and Buddy did something about them, Speedy McSpeederson was harping to her pals about what a bad job they did. Which was kind of true, what with that blacktop fiasco. But still, even though unsightly and bumpy, the hill doesn't wash out any more.

Anyhoo...Hick posted on Facebook that he was going to work on the roads, and that gravel now costs $200 a load. We used to get it for $165 when Buddy was hauling, but now he's using his truck for a regular job. In the past two days, 3 residents have paid Hick, and 2 more have verbally committed to doing so. Let the record show that when the power goes off in our community, 46 homes are without power. So this is but a small portion of people who could contribute.

Anyhoo...Hick ordered $1100 in gravel on Wednesday. That's because one resident said he could only afford $100. And including our contribution, if those who committed pay, Hick will not be out anything other than his time, and gas for his tractor. Which uses diesel, and he drove up and helped himself to some from Buddy's tank. They're cool like that.

Hick was pretty agitated on Tuesday, when he saw a comment that "What you need to do is take that money and fix the hill. That's the worst blacktop job I've ever seen." We all agree that it's a bad job. The problem Hick had is that the comment was from a guy who doesn't even live out here. The son of the human mommy of the killer poodle and crazy rottweiler. Of course she got on there and told her kid to back off. But not before Hick made the general statement that "If you don't live here, and haven't volunteered to help or donate, then you shouldn't BITCH about it!" Another gal stuck up for Hick as well. I'm pretty sure it was Buddy's wife. The complainer replied back, "I'm entitled to my opinion! I guess the truth hurts."

The Complainer pretty much missed the point. That being the fact that no matter what he thinks, he doesn't even live here, so he doesn't really have a say. His mom sent private messages to Hick, and Buddy's wife, apologizing for her son's comments. Even though she didn't have to, because they know it's not her opinion.

Anyhoo...Hick spent four hours Tuesday, and six hours Wednesday, working on those roads. Alone. I passed him on the way to town, and got behind him on the way back.

That's a big hole he filled in. It was about six inches deep, and full of water over the past couple days. People coming around that curve would swing out to avoid it. Now it's smooth.

Hick is using 1-inch minus, because it's easier to pack down. The jagged, bigger gravel (like 2-inch minus that we get for the driveway, and seen also on this road), has a tendency to get bounced off the road as people drive on it, and it ends up along the side, and has to be graded back out after a while.

As you can see, Hick is using the roller he made out of a pipe and concrete mix. It seems to be doing the job.

Don't let Hick's hard-headedness fool you. There is nothing he'd rather be doing than riding around on his tractor like he has a mission. Unless maybe it's buying junk.