Tuesday, January 31, 2017

This is Why I Give Hick an Allowance

Can we talk too much about Hick's bargains? He doesn't think so. A couple days ago he went to Lowe's. Just for one board, he said. Probably to make more shelves, the better to hold more junk.

When Hick came home, he was all a-tizzy. He doesn't show outward excitement all that often. He tromped into the kitchen as I was warming his leftover sausage/cabbage/potato concoction, and three corn muffins.

"I can't believe it. They NEVER have any bargains when I go down to Lowe's in my truck. But when I take the car, they have stuff I want that won't fit! Like tonight! Up front, they had 22 PIECES OF SIDING, all for only TEN DOLLARS! That's over a hundred dollars worth of siding. For TEN DOLLARS! It would cover--" (and here, Hick rattled off the verbal arithmetic, calculating square footage, and I tuned him out).

"I don't know how much that is."

"It would cover TWO WALLS, Val! TWO WALLS!"

"Too bad you were in the car."

"Yeah. I called HOS, and he came and picked it up for me!"

"I guess we'll be getting another shed..."

"I've got two more started. I've got the skids already, and the lumber."

Yeah. It never ends. Here's Hick's bargain.



The pieces of siding were not scattered all willy-nilly across the parking lot. Or in the road, like that piece of J-channel I stopped my car to pick up for him the first year we were married. Do you know how hard it is to shove a piece of J-channel into a Toyota Corolla?


As Hick made sure to inform me in the email where he attached the pictures, it's 22 pieces, 12-feet long. I wonder if the front and back of our new shed will be green. Or the opposite sides. Or a front/side. Or a back/side. Maybe we'll have two sheds, both with green front walls.

The possibilities, like my retirement days with hoarding Hick, are endless.

14 comments:

  1. For deal like that you have to build a new shed.

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    Replies
    1. Hick's on it! I'm sure in his eyes, he's actually saving us money by building a new shed.

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  2. A new shed; just what you were hoping for!!

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    1. It's what you get a woman who has everything. And my birthday IS coming up!

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  3. I don't know why regular (non-chocolate) animal crackers are called crackers, either!!

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    Replies
    1. Except for the lack of salt, they have about the same taste!

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  4. I have no idea what J-channel is. A channel that shows nothing but Jennifer Lopez or Jennifer Lawrence movies?

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    Replies
    1. Not a JLo or JLaw movie station.

      It's long thin strips of vinyl with holes in it for nails, used to trim around windows and doors with vinyl siding.

      http://www.biytoday.com/vinylsidingj.jpg

      Back when we were building a master bedroom on my $17,000 house in town, I stopped to pick up a piece out of the road for Hick. Because I know how he loves a bargain. I was so proud of it. Like a cat bringing home a dead bird to leave in front of the door.

      It must have been 12 feel long. I had to twist it seven ways to Sunday to fit it in the back seat of my Toyota Corolla.

      Hick took one look, and said it had been run over too many times. What an ingrate!

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  5. From the pictures I've seen, Hick does a good job turning these "finds" into usable spaces.

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    1. He is a master at making usable spaces. It's the USE of the spaces I object to. Not the space, or the maker.

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  6. oh my goodness I can imagine his heart thumping when he saw that whiz bang deal...and now he'll be out of your hair building a building.

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    1. Yes. I imagined him frantically fumbling for his cell phone out of its belt holster, to call HOS to drive 20 minutes with a truck to pick it up.

      Out of my hair, but spending more of his now-60% salary on accoutrements for his new shanty.

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  7. I would have been tempted myself. Not that I have anything in mind to use it for, but a deal like that is hard to pass up! Or, that is what I use to tell myself when I saw fabric on sale......

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    Replies
    1. I'm sure Hick will use his bargain siding. That's what worries me!

      You seem to find really good uses for your fabric bargains. And make your own bargains when you recycle stuff for your crafts!

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