Of course my Sweet Baboo saw the logic in this scenario. So we left at 9:15 a.m. for the casino. Huh. There was NO RAIN! I had even told him we'd drive T-Hoe instead of A-Cad, because the car would just be splattered with mud and road spray anyhow. Still...we were already on the way. No sense stopping now, just because the weathermen failed again.
Hick dropped me off at the main entrance and went into the city to troll the Goodwill stores for treasures. Then he rejoined me about 90 minutes later. Let the record show that the casino was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. And more miserly that George Costanza. Hick was only there short time, and lost all but $20 of the bankroll I gave him. Wait. I take that back. He also had another $20 that he took out of his allotment to spend AT GOODWILL! Making me his enabler, I suppose.
Anyhoo...the casino odds were not in my favor, either. I lost my shirt. LOOK AWAY! I'm hideous without my shirt! Okay, so in all actuality, I still had 80% of the money I took in. But still, that's more than Val usually loses.
We DID have a delicious burger, so juicy that grease dripped down my arm and onto the table. I could have given a Hardee's commercial burger-eating gal a run for her money. What with me losing my shirt and all...
When we walked out of the casion, THE SUN WAS SHINING! The temperature was 53 degrees. I had robbed Hick of a day outside, riding his Gator, terrorizing potholes and downed trees and neighbors who put sticks in the road. HEY! The weather is not my problem! I looked at the forecast online, even the updated version at 1:00 a.m.
Today, the wind was blustery, the sky overcast, and temperature at 43 degrees at noon. You know what I told Hick? "Sorry about yesterday and you missing nice weather. Today is terrible. You COULD take me to the casino..."
Heh, heh.
Let the record show that I was joking, but he thought I was serious. Let the record further show that Hick took off for the local Goodwill store. I guess that twenty was burning a hole in his pocket.
In NJ we have legalized on-line gambling. not a good idea in my opinion, but I manage to resist.
ReplyDeleteON-LINE GAMBLING? That's enabling an addiction. Making it TOO easy. That would be the beginning of the end! That would be like getting one of those Old People Chairs because you're too feeble to stand up from a regular chair. Oh, wait...
DeleteThe burger sounds great, just like a burger should be! So, did Hick find something to spend his $20 on?
ReplyDeleteThat burger was real, and it was spectacular. Like a New York Chinese restaurant's Supreme Flounder. I would lie about my address and pretend to live in a janitor closet to be within the delivery area.
DeleteHick DID find things to buy, but I don't remember all of them. One was a Boy Scout canteen with a cover, and a plastic glass with a red Coke bottle shape in it. Can't remember the rest, because I don't really care about MORE junk that he drags in.
It's addictive!Take note of the age demographics. Retires make up the biggest portion of gamblers except on weekends when the youngers frequent the dens of inequities. Now I will never be able to watch that Hardee's commercial without thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteOh, yeah! Most of the time, I'm the spring chicken of that flock. The day after Christmas, though, Ameristar had a younger crowd. It was quite jarring to see fewer walkers and oxygen cannulas, and all those young whippersnappers striding purposefully, rather than shuffling.
DeleteYes. I'm sure everyone will see me as the Hardee's burger girl now. Or the west coasties will see me as the Carl's Jr burger girl.
And to think I spent too much time at the Goodwill.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you could have bargained them out of $20, even if you were only donating. So you would have come out ahead of Val and Hick monetarily.
DeleteThough you wouldn't have seen Val lose her shirt, or eat a burger. Come to think of it, you might wish you had spent MORE time at the Goodwill.
You are going to have to be creative in thinking of reasons to get Hick out of the house.
ReplyDeleteHow are his feet these days?
Hick is complaining about his hip. I hope the hip bone isn't connected to the Good Feet bone!
DeleteYou could have gone to Goodwill ..... or, would that ruin it for him?
ReplyDeleteThat would ruin it for ME!
DeleteI worked in an insurance salvage store for a year, while I was completing my Master's Degree. I have seen enough bargains to last me. Hick would have PAID them to work there, I imagine.
We did get first choice on all new shipments. We had merchandise from chains like JC Penney--returned items, inventory from fire losses, freight car derailments. Lots of good stuff. Also lots of not-so-good stuff.