I'm Reasonably Certain It Was a Hardware Malfunction, and NOT a Deliberate Lock-Out

What has Hick been doing with all his free time, now that he's 40% retired? Let's see...tomorrow I expect him to be busy not-fixing the lock on the front door that quit working tonight when he went out and in that portal.

That door worked perfectly fine last night when I turned the little center thing in the knob to unlock it, took the dogs their evening snack, and came back in and locked the door by turning the center thing again. Tonight, I turned the doorknob to go out with the snacks, it already being unlocked because Hick came home a little early while I was still walking in the driveway. Actually OFF the driveway, sinking into mole tunnels, as he passed by in the Trailblazer.

Anyhoo...I pulled the door shut behind me as usual, and it made a clanging noise and popped back open. Huh. I tried to pull it shut, same thing. The squishing-in thingy wouldn't go back in. Wouldn't slip into the door latch. Not even when I turned the knob. Of course Hick got up from the La-Z-Boy and came over and wrenched the doorknob back and forth and pushed on the quishing-in thingy with his thumb, and said, "I don't know what you're talking about. It works."

Of course when I tried to get back in after feeding the dogs (let the record show that the wind chill was 27 degrees), the door was locked. Doorknob wouldn't turn. I banged on the door (why use that doorbell that didn't work for 20 years, that Hick might have fixed a couple years back, just to be disappointed if he didn't) and Hick said from the other side, "NOW what?"

"The door's locked! Let me in!"

"The door isn't locked. There." Hick made a big show of turning that doorknob from the inside handle, and twisting that center lock thing. Making me look the fool. Never mind that the squishing-in part was not moving at all as he turned the knob.

"It doesn't work. I have to be able to get back in the house once I go out."

"You can get into the house! I'll take a look at that tomorrow." Said the man who went back to sit in his La-Z-Boy, having already professed that tomorrow he would be moving things around in his basement workshop (on the other side of a thin wall from my dark basement lair!) to fit in a new shelf to display his things.

Last long weekend when he was off, he spent three of the four days (one he took me to the casino) not-fixing the garage people-door, which has the same problem with the doorknob and squishing-in thingy.

During that non-repair time, Hick was working on a project in the BARn, using the new drill The Pony got him for Christmas. I don't know what was so special about that drill. I think something having to do with the way you charge it. Hick has one of almost every tool imaginable. The better to build shanties for Shackytown, I suppose. But for a couple days he was building shelves.

And painting them, and stocking them with his treasures.

I really hope our episode of Hoarders gets high ratings.