PONY TO PERFORM WITH BACKROADS PHILHARMONIC
History will be made tonight, as Pony Thevictorian participates in a Christmas concert with his high school band. Yes, The Pony will be stamping his hoof to keep time, pulling the slide of his tromboned, and filling the gym with Yuletide cheer. He will be decked out in a proper rig of pleated black pants, crisp white shirt, and patterned gray vest with a shiny back. Let's hope The Pony can harness his fractious nature and pull steadily with his bandmates as they deliver their tuneful load.
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RARE FOUR-FOOTED DOG OBSERVED ON OUTSKIRTS OF BACKROADS
A silky black Borador has been observed standing on all four feet this week. This canine, who comes to the name of JUNO, has lengthy bouts of three-leggedness. Not only has she been standing on all fours, but was seen taking weight off her good back foot, and resting it solely on the former bad paw. At last report, Juno was snuggling in a lovefest with her human mom, smelling sweetly of cedar from the bedding in her kitchen-door, back-porch house that she shares with a female canine roommate, bits of cedar decorating her flowing ebony fur.
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LOCAL WOMAN ATTEMPTS ROBBERY
Mrs. Val Thevictorian, of 1313 Mockingbird Lane, a home she purchased at a monster discount, will be trying her hand at petty larceny on Saturday. Her getaway driver and accomplice, Hick Thevictorian, proposed the crime. Val will be carefully scrutinizing prospective victims. Among her criteria: one-armed, loud, located in high traffic areas, looking loaded with quarters, reside in River City.
In times gone by, Val discovered that her life of crime did not pay. If she makes a killing, you will read about it here first. In the Backroads Intermittent Gazette.
Very good, as always!! 1313 Mockingbird Lane, eh?! Have fun!! :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck. There was some fugitive a while ago who was also looking for someone who was one-armed. But the details are all black and white in my muddled-up mind.
ReplyDeleteDo you think you're looking for the same thing/person?
Sign me up for a subscription to the Backroads Intermittent Gazette.
ReplyDeleteSaturday...hope you win the "bundle" we left there for you. Have a fun.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea the Munsters had moved. Maybe because the new residents look strangely similar? Way to go on that real estate deal! And looking forward to my Sunday Edition of the Gazette.
ReplyDeleteBecky,
ReplyDeleteSometimes, out of the corner of my eye, I think I see a little boy with a widow's peak.
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Sioux,
I have a feeling neither will cough up much cash.
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Stephen,
You are on the electronic subscription list. I figured you might not want to wait for a boy on a bicycle to throw it into your hedge.
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Linda,
I certainly hope you designated your donation to Happy and the Hooker.
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Leenie,
Cousin Marilyn dropped by, but was too scared to sit a spell with us. The Sunday Edition of the Gazette is full of filler, and coupons for denture cleaners, overly-processed snack foods, and discount checks.