Hick the sicky went to the doctor and found out he has to miss work on Thursday. That will be his third day. He has sinusitis and an ear infection, and received some antibiotics for his trouble. The fever of 100.2 is what is keeping him home, apparently. According to Hick, the doctor said that if he still has a fever on Friday, he should not go to work. That's what he said. The doctor might just as well have told him, "I've got gold fever. Come back every day because I want your insurance money." Hick is not the most reliable doctor's-instructions-relater.
The most breathtaking of Hick's symptoms is the raspy, wheezy cough. Apparently, the doctor did not feel this was showy enough to dwell upon. No mention of why Hick sounds like he's taking his last gasp. I would have bet on bronchitis. That's why I'm not a doctor. Nor a betting woman.
The patient complains of a headache. Not in the sinus area as one might expect, but in the temples. Since Hick has no stress while laying about the homestead, I discarded tension headache from my home diagnosis kit. When I found out that he HAS been drinking water like I suggested, to stay hydrated, but has only had one 12 oz. can of Diet Coke in the last 48 hours, I zeroed in on my current diagnosis. Caffeine withdrawal headache.
Hick really needs to get over this. I am ready to sleep in my bed without fear of being sprayed with contaminants all the livelong night from his breather. The patient is mending too slowly. I feel it would not be proper to cover his head with the quilt when I go to bed. So I cover mine with a Coca Cola hand towel. I'll let you know how that works out for me.
Something's gotta give. I am going deaf from the blaring of TV Land. Hick says he can't hear. It seems to me that Helen Keller herself would be able to hear from the vibrations emitted by that maxed-out volume.
I wish Hick a speedy recovery. Just as long as I don't have to be near his exhale zone, or touch anything his Typhoid-Mary hands have touched. I'm a firm believer in the hands-off method of bedside care.
He's still getting more tender loving care from me than I get from him when I'm sick.
I don't think I want to be sick in your house. Ha! Seriously, I hope Hick gets better soon. I'm sure this isn't fun for him. TV Land? Yuck!!!!
ReplyDeleteVal, it just wasn't in the cards, or stars, or your horoscope for you to be seen at a book signing this Saturday. Since I won't be able to make it to any of them, I'm kinda glad. I would hate to miss your attendance! And about Hick..."Typhoid-Mary" ??? I haven't seen or heard that term in years! You always crack me up!
ReplyDeleteNo.Covering his head with a blanket is not sufficient. Cover his head with a pillow, and keep it firmly affixed for 5-7 minutes until the struggling subsides.
ReplyDeleteOh, he has an unobstructed air supply via the CPAP tubing? Never mind, my plan won't work.
By the way, your upcoming appearance was spoken about at our WWWP meeting last night. We are renting one of those big searchlights, and David Hasselhoff is going to work the crowd until you come. David Hasselhoff! This is going to be an incredible event!
Val is coming to town...
Double dose him and drive on up! Seriously, I hope Hick feels better, for your sake, too.
ReplyDeleteStephen,
ReplyDeleteI don't think I would WANT you to be sick at my house. You would probably expect me to do more than run past you with my shirt up over my nose like an impromptu surgical mask, screaming, "Stay away from me! I don't want your germs! Quit coughing on the remote!" So needy, some people.
Of course, I wouldn't want you to be sick at all. Then there would be even less chance of me catching something. I caught a headache over the internet, you know, from my blog buddy Kathy.
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Becky,
I seems that way. But I'm pulling out all the stops. Hick has been commanded to take his medicine on a proper dosing schedule, using proper measuring instruments. If you miss me this time, I'm sure I will eventually make another appearance in your neck of the woods. Even though it may be casino-related.
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Sioux,
When did you sour on the wood-chipper? A pillow is so passe. Shhh...FYI, tubing on those breathers has been known to kink up when you least expect it. Like when you're depending on it for oxygen.
Well, I'm surprised you all don't just chuck the whole book-signing idea and rent a tent to hold the crowd awaiting my appearance. David Hasselhoff, you say? Whatever you do, don't give him a hamburger.
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Linda,
Double-dosing is too close to double-dipping. People don't like it when you do that. Nobody wants Hick's saliva in their dip.
Hick sounded better this morning. The cough was gone. Now he's off to his bowling league, and planning to go to work on Friday. All systems are back on. We are beginning the final countdown to launch. The only issue now would be if The Pony's academic team dares to make the afternoon finals.