At Her Mother's Day Dinner, Val is Showered With...

LOVE! Right? That's the most logical thing you would imagine Val to be showered with. But let's not forget that the people taking Val out to dinner were Hick and The Pony.

I chose to go on Tuesday, to avoid crowds, and at 1:30, because then we could have a big meal and not fiddle around ruining our appetite with lunch first. It was The Pony's idea to take me out, to the local catfish restaurant where we get the all-you-can-eat platter. Of course Hick paid.

There's one view of our platter. We chose all three meats: fish, chicken, and shrimp. You can see the fish piled high, and a piece of chicken, and some shrimp peeping out from under. I'm not a fan of the shrimp. They're okay, but I can get the same thing frozen from Mrs. Paul or Gorton. Hick and The Pony love them, though. In fact, they asked for more, and were brought a bowl the size of that slaw bowl full of shrimp! Which they also ate. I prefer the chicken. And the fish.

There's another view of the platter, where you can see the hush puppies. I didn't have any, preferring to stuff myself with the fish and chicken and a couple fries. Which can't be seen, being under everything else. We also had sides of baked beans and SLAW! Oh, and The Pony wanted to try a new item, the Crabby Cheese Bread:

We had to pay extra, since this item is not included in the sides selection, but is instead an appetizer. We had the small order, which was $4.99. It was delicious. I only had half of one piece, because I knew that The Pony and Hick liked it better. Also, I was not filling up on bread while waiting for that tasty fish and chicken to arrive! The only complaint I would have about this bread is to paraphrase the joke in True Grit about the chicken and dumplings. "Be careful of the Crabby Cheese Bread. It'll hurt your eyes. Hurt your eyes looking for the crab!" I think we saw two pieces of crab in the whole dish.

We arrived at 1:20, and didn't get our food until 2:00. I cry shenanigans! People who came in after us were served within five minutes! The only explanation I can offer is that people there during actual lunch time ate up all the food, and they had to fry more. Perhaps it was the chicken we were waiting on, since it takes a while, and came out piping hot. Anyhoo... take a look at our slaw and beans:

There is Hick with his sad, sad plate. The waitress brought out the bowl of extra tartar sauce right away. So Hick had it on his plate, waiting. Waiting. Waiting. In fact, I told The Pony that I might get food poisoning from the tartar sauce sitting out 40 minutes, heh, heh! The minute the rest of the food arrived, Hick dug into those beans while I was trying to get a picture. He's the only one who ate the beans (I sure wasn't filling up on beans before the real food!). Hick said mine are better, as these aren't really baked, just heated. The slaw is fantastic, and this photo doesn' do it justice. You can see Hick's jar of tea. He asked for sweet tea, but the waitress must have been psychic and knew he wasn't supposed to have it, as she brought unsweetened. She offered to take it back, but Hick said he'd just use the sweetener on the table.

I made sure to ask for their special chicken sauce, which is kept refrigerated and only brought out if requested. It's kind of a sweet and sour sauce in a squirt bottle. On the table already were some hot sauce which we don't use, and ketchup, and cocktail sauce for the shrimp. And therein lies my shower tale.

The Pony only uses ketchup on his shrimp. Hick likes the cocktail sauce, which was in an opaque bottle with a squirt top. As Hick used it, the bottom of that squeeze bottle grew emptier! It was like a reverse gravity event. Hick said it must have a false bottom. He tried to stick his fingers in the bottom, but it was not hollow. As we were getting ready to leave, The Pony picked it up to investigate while setting it back on the condiments carousel. He slammed it down on the palm of his other hand, like I do my squeeze mayo when it's almost empty.

Well. THAT was a mistake!

"Pony! What are you doing? I just felt something spray down on my head! Like raindrops!"

"I'm just seeing if I can shake it down."

"Stop! You're spraying it all over me."

"You didn't get nothin' on you, Val."

"How do YOU know? I'm the one who felt it."

"You're making a big deal. But I think some of it is on the wall."

"SEE? I TOLD you it sprayed out."

"I think that's old, Mom."

"Nope." I wiped it off with my napkin.

"Well. I don't see any on YOU."

"Right here! On my shirt!"

"Maybe you dripped some chicken sauce while you were eating."

"No. You sprayed it on me. I don't know why you and Dad don't ever believe me."

"Oh. Wait. On your forehead? There's something there..."

Yeah. I wiped off a glob of cocktail sauce from my forehead. At least The Pony told me before somebody later mistook me for a crime victim when I went to buy my scratchers.

We left that special dinner full of seafood and fowl and filler. You can't take any home if you ask for more. Since Hick and The Pony had that bowl of shrimp, we had to leave the remains. Which only consisted of the bowl of beans, and five hush puppies. Thevictorians don't play when it comes to ALL YOU CAN EAT!