Wednesday, August 21, 2019

A Junker's Dozen

Hick has a habit of getting himself into some predicaments that could turn out badly. We'll save the danger for another time, and go with something more prankish. His latest plot is to trick an old lady.

“There’s this Old Lady who won’t come in my Store. She walks by every weekend, and I tell her to come look around, I bet I have things she’d like, and she says, ‘I’ve already been in there. I remember that bowl.’ It’s an eggnog bowl with six cups. It’s sitting up front. I guess she thinks I’m like those other sellers, and don’t ever change out my merchandise. So I’m going to hide that bowl in the back, and see if she’ll come in.”

“I think she’s probably smart enough to remember where your store is, and who YOU are, since you talk to her every week.”

“Nah. I bet she’ll come in.”

“If she finds that eggnog bowl, she’s gonna be really mad at you for tricking her.”

“I don’t think so. She’ll already have come in, and she might find something she wants. She’s been asking for a bowl with a handle that pours. I looked for one in Walmart yesterday. I’m willing to take a loss on it, just to tell her I have one. Then she might come back and buy more stuff.”

“You mean like for a mixer? I’ve seen them with mixers. They were probably part of a set, and she broke hers. That’s why you couldn’t find one. They were with the mixers.”

“I’ll get her in there some way!”

It's been at least two weekends now, since Hick moved the eggnog bowl farther back in his Storage Unit Store. He has not see the Old Lady, but he HAS told another old lady about his prank. This is not going to end well if they know each other...

Also, Hick sent me a picture of his completed fishing poles that he put together and donated to the Boy Scout Ranch, along with a tackle box he filled with assorted angling accoutrements.

I guess you'd call that a Junker's Dozen. For the most part, he's a good egg, our Hick.
Except when he's pranking old ladies.

12 comments:

  1. Somehow it seems to me that Hick is in store for bad luck. Don't know why, but it does.

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    1. I don't know why he chose that number of fishing poles. Or is so obsessed with getting that one old lady into his store!

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  2. Is it possible for anyone to get angry with Hick?

    Except you of course.

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    1. Me and Crazy Stick Road Man. Let's not forget him. But the guy who threatened to shoot Hick and had to get a lawyer to stay out of jail eventually became his friend, and would come down to blade our driveway while we were at work. So Hick has some kind of magic spell he works on people. Except me and Crazy Stick Road Man.

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    2. I'm guessing "Crazy Stick Road Man" has crazy eyes.

      I think I could spend hours with Hick and his Shacky Town exploring his treasures.

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    3. Nobody wants to get close enough to SEE his eyes. It took several paper-servings and court sessions to make him stop putting sticks in the gravel road. Not tossing them out there, but driving them in, like fence posts, saying his land went to the center of the road. As all our plots do, but there is such a thing as a road easement, and the road was there when he bought the land.

      You could spend DAYS looking at Hick's stuff. You're forgetting the BARn, which is where his beer memorabilia and Coke products are in the loft, which started his collecting.

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  3. Hick trying to lure an old woman into his store? Watch out, he may make the headlines.

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    1. I'm surprised he hasn't set up a trap with a loop of string to snag her ankle, and drag her inside.

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  4. If it was me and I became wise to the prank, I would go in, and walk past everything with my pointer finger out saying, "I've got one of those, I've got one of those," all around the store. Then I would ask if he's ever seen (something he's never heard of) in a particularly horrible shade of green because "my next door neighbour broke hers and would love a replacement. Then, I would never, ever go back. Well, not for a long time anyway.

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  5. Well he has been pranking you for how many years now?

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    1. I'm pretty sure Hick is trying to kill me, but his dastardly plots are weak enough to be pranks. It's going on 30 years of marriage, but 32 years of being his intended "pranktim." I do not consider myself a victim. YET!

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