Hick the Stealer-Dealer

Hick is good at making deals that don't involve the secure legal parameters preferred by most people. He's a trader. Knows the worth of items, and proceeds accordingly to procure what he wants. His greatest weakness is wanting something so much that his tactic becomes "split the difference, split the difference." Whereas I will set a price I'm willing to pay, and hang onto it like a snapping turtle waiting for thunder. Which is to say that I'm an asset when buying a car, but not good for much else.

Anyhoo... my original point is that Hick plays loosey-goosey with purchases that a normal person would be leery of, lacking legal backing.

Hick has a crew he hangs out with at the Senior Center. He did a kitchen renovation for one of them in January, while she was out of state on vacation. She knows Hick flips houses, and told him she had a friend and his brother who were wanting to sell their deceased mother's house. It's not far from our Double Hovel flip house. She told Hick that Half Owner recently had an offer on the house, but didn't like the prospective buyer, and refused to sell.

Hick said it wouldn't hurt to take a look, and they drove by. Of course Hick got all excited, assessing the worth from the outside, knowing Half Owner had found the original offer not an insult. After a tour of the inside, Hick came home raving about it, and had already called The Pony. I had to remind Hick that our money was tied up in the Double Hovel. We buy properties. We don't finance them. Hick said he didn't plan to do much to this property. Just some minor cosmetic touches, minimal electrical work to update it with more outlets, and then sell it fast. That it was a bargain.

Hick said he would make an offer contingent on the Flip House selling, or May 1st. The Pony and I discussed it. We finally agreed. Hick met Half Owner, and offered $3000 more than the offer Half Owner had turned down. Half Owner agreed to hold the property until May 1st for $500 in earnest money. Pending approval from his brother in Florida. So Hick stole that deal right out from under the other offerer, for $3000 more and a handshake!

HERE'S WHERE THE DEAL BECOMES WONKY!

Half Owner said Hick could work on the property whenever he wanted. Gave him keys to the house and the mobile home. Said Hick could have any of the contents he wanted. Start renovations. Turn on electric and water. That scared the Not-Heaven out of me! You can't get insurance on a house you don't own! Half Owner had no insurance on it. What if somebody got hurt while helping Hick? But wait, it gets MORE complicated!

While showing the Double Hovel to a lady who wanted to buy it for her mother in another state, and an adult grandson who lives with her, Prospective Buyer said she was worried that the main house had a couple of steps. Didn't want that for her mother, though she liked the Beauty Shop apartment (which Hick had just torn the floor out of and started renovating) for the grandson. Stealer-Dealer Hick had a brilliant idea.

"I have another property you might like. It has a house trailer where the grandson could live separately. It's not far. I can drive you by there."

Well. Prospective Buyer really liked the property we did not technically own! She called the next day and offered Hick an amount that would give us a 60 percent profit! Hick told her he was only cleaning out the contents, and correcting a couple of things in the kitchen. Prospective Buyer said that was okay. All she wanted was a couple of trees trimmed. AND some electrical work, for which she would buy materials, and pay Hick for his labor! A side deal that did not affect our future profit.

Hick discussed it with The Pony and me. We agreed, though my anxiety level increased. Hick had essentially sold a property he didn't own, and was doing renovations on it! All for $500 in earnest money from Prospective Buyer.

Let the record show that the earnest monies changed hands, but the only part of the deal on paper was handwritten by Hick, copied by me (whose printer doesn't work), and signed by all of us. No notarization. I'm pretty sure nothing about either deal being legally binding!

Oh, yeah. There was a little problem, and police were called to the property...