During the third week of March, Hick was home relaxing on a Thursday evening, having just finished his supper in his recliner. He got a phone call from Half Owner of the QuickFlip, the local one. Half Owner had just gotten a phone call from a lady he knew, who lives across from the QuickFlip house. She said there was a naked man standing on the QuickFlip front porch, and the police were there. She went out and listened. Naked man told the police it was HIS house, and that he'd locked himself out!
Hick immediately took off for QuickFlip, to keep police from letting that guy into the house. It's a 20-minute drive in the best of traffic. Once somebody gets into your house, it can take six months or more of legal battles to get them evicted. Hick called the police on the way, saying he wanted to file a report. [CHIME CHIME CHIME! That's Val's BS Meter shouting a warning. How can you file a report of trespassing or vandalism on a property you don't own???]
The police person on the phone told Hick that they'd already taken Nudie to the county jail. They didn't want to go back to the house. Hick insisted. A Girl Cop showed up. Said that since Nudie was already in jail, she didn't see the point of filing a report from Hick. Hick said he wanted a record of property damages. [We'll get to that part later.]
Girl Cop said Nudie had told them it was HIS house. So Hick couldn't file for damages. She radioed in when Hick complained. The officer on the phone asked if Hick had a key. YES! So they sent another cop. Cop 2 questioned Hick's claim that Nudie broke into the house.
"You can see where he BROKE THE DOORKNOB off the back door! The broken bricks he used are laying right there! And he knocked everything off the shelves in the laundry room. He couldn't open the door into the rest of the house, because I have it screwed shut, with a cabinet leaned against it."
"That guy couldn't have done this. He was sick. He couldn't walk to the car without me holding him up."
"I was here at 9:30 this morning, working on this house, and it was not in this condition when I left. I want him arrested for damages. Not for being nude on the porch."
After a bit more of denying the break-in, Cop 2 gave Hick papers to fill out and bring by the police station.
"He said he just stepped out on the front porch to get his water, and the door closed and locked him out."
"Them three jugs are what I filled up and brought here to flush the toilet while I work. The water isn't turned on. The electric's in MY NAME."
Hick said both cops were young, about The Pony's age. They didn't want to do anything for Hick, seeming to believe Nudie's story. [Funny how they didn't believe the guy with the key, but took a sick naked man's word as truth. I guess that's why they're cops, not judges.]
Hick estimated the damages and replacement door at enough to be a felony. The Prospective Buyer, when informed, said, "Let's not tell Mom this." She also asked for Hick to put a new steel door on the front of the house, for which she would pay, along with Hick's labor.
Hick wondered if maybe Nudie had drank water out of those three jugs. They were tossed off the porch into the yard, their caps off, leaking water. They were POOL CHEMICAL jugs he had on hand from treating POOLIO. Granted, he'd used them to tote toilet water several times, starting with the Flip House. So maybe they were rinsed enough. But I sure wouldn't drink out of them.
That's the last we've heard so far about the incident. By the time anything develops, we or Prospective Buyer will be the legal owner. Not sure what that would do to Hick's police report. It's not like he expected to get any compensation from Nudie. Only to keep him off the porch until we sell the property. If that means Nudie has to stay in the county jail, then so be it. He's better off there than naked on a front porch swilling pool chemicals.
Oh boy. What a story. I'm glad that the prospective future buyer didn't get scared off. First, the sale needs to be closed by Hick, The Pony and you with the Half Owner and Other Half Owner, right?
ReplyDeleteThe title company always schedules the buyer and seller at different appointments. We've used them before to buy The Pony's house, and the Double Hovel flip house(s). Our paperwork is complete, and seller paperwork should be done this week, since they were there on Friday afternoon.
DeleteMonday, Hick is taking our contract with the Prospective Buyer to the title company, and Prospective Buyer is starting her own title paperwork there. Should be quick, since ours was just completed on that same property. Quick, meaning a week or two.
That is quite a tale. Unfortunately, there are naive cops. I had someone threaten me numerous times and cop said magistrate would be angry if he filed a report before the person actually did anything to me. ???
ReplyDeleteI wonder how the man happened to be naked. Was he trying to do laundry? And, why did Hick nail that door shut?
You will tell us the end of the Nudie guy story?
It's good he had a nosy neighbor, but i would have been listening, too, and calling owner.
Sometimes it seems like the authorities give more weight to the story of the first party who contacts them. Regardless of the facts.
DeleteI have no idea where that guy's clothes went! If he was trying to do laundry, he shouldn't have smashed up the laundry room! I think he was trying to sneak into the house, and angry that he couldn't get the inner door to open. Hick had it screwed shut for just such a purpose: security. That door must not have had a good lock, or Hick was planning to replace the door anyway.
If there's every a notice of Nudie's court date, I will update. You never know if Hick's complaint will actually be processed, the way the city police were handling it.
I had a woman lie to police about my darting out in the street, right in front of her. By the time I told the police that my car was stalled in the street and she was looking at a church and not me, I was charged. Of course, it did not help me that she was fifteen years younger, had long blond hair and wearing shorts on Dec 15 and told them her husband was chiropractor and she was divorcing him.
DeleteThat's some serious shenaniganning going on there!
DeleteROTFLMAO! Well, no, I guess it's not funny to Hick so don't tell him how you wrote it up. I'm still chuckling.
ReplyDeleteOf course Hick's nose was out of joint about not being taken seriously.
DeleteI'm no detective, but I would be more likely to believe a man who HAS THE KEY, rather than a Nudie saying he locked himself out getting jugs of water off his front porch. What was so important about those jugs that he couldn't put on a robe first???
Perhaps Nudie will come to his senses after a few hours in the lockup and admit it isn't his house. I hope it all gets sorted and fixed satisfactorily with no more incidents until the house is handed over officially to the new owners.
ReplyDeleteNudie didn't seem to be drunk, so I doubt anybody would bother to talk to him, once locked up, and he'd be there until he could make bail, or went to trial.
DeletePoor Hick. Like why would I end up naked outside my own home? That's just ridiculous, unless I thought someone was trying to break IN and I had to rush out, naked. Thank goodness the neighbour called Hick. Sounds like Nudie has some mental health issues along with being homeless :(
ReplyDeleteI don't know if Nudie was actually homeless. You'd think he would break in during winter, not on an unseasonably warm 70 degree day. The house had been empty for two years. Nudie had been seen walking around town earlier in the day, fully clothed. Not sure if someone reported him then as suspicious, or if police just saw him on their patrol.
DeleteInteresting! I hope they get to the bottom of it, figuratively since literally we have seen some of the bottom already ;)
DeleteHeh, heh! I hope they put a towel down on the back seat of the police car!
DeleteNaked, huh? I wonder if the cops might have suggested that naked man go inside (with their help) and get some clothes. Riding with his naked butt on the seat, gross!
ReplyDeleteMaybe they DID, but Hick, the almost-owner with a key, wasn't there to open the door! I don't know if police are allow to break into "your" house for you. Because of incidents like this, maybe they're not.
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