Sunday, March 5, 2023

A Trio of Tried Patience: 1) The Bank Line

The Universe has been working overtime to conspire against Val. Of course it came the week when Hick had his surgery, and Val's nerves were frayed like cut-off jean shorts in the '70s.

Monday, I was in a hurry to get to town and back home to meet with The Pony and The Veteran, and hear details of Hick's surgery and condition. I had to take a check to the bank and deposit it for Hick. I was there fairly early for me, having given up sleep to get there and back in time. So it was during regular banking hours. Just a deposit. I went around to the three drive-thru lanes.

I don't like the first lane, because it has two giant pillars that make it hard to get T-Hoe close enough for me to reach the canister. Sometimes I have to open T-Hoe's door and lean through the window. The middle lane had a car pulling away, so I went there. The third lane had a car already doing business. So I knew I would be next.


This was not even the faulty door that almost guillotined my hand a while back! That's the third lane. Anyhoo... I pushed the SEND button like the instructions say, to open the door. Nothing. I could see the canister inside, through the smoky glass/plastic. But that door would not rise. I gave up, and drove out, through the alley, and back into the third drive-thru lane.

As I waited, and waited, a truck pulled up in the first drive-thru lane. Great. It would get a turn ahead of me. I waited some more. A car pulled up in the second drive-thru lane. And the door opened and gave that lady access to the canister! I call shenanigans! So now there were two customers who'd get turns ahead of me. 

Not much seemed to be happening. After 15 minutes, the car ahead of me got their stuff back in the canister, and drove off. So I pulled up and snatched that canister before the door could close, and put in my deposit slip, Hick's check, and my driver's license. Because even though there's no sign, they ask for it, under the pretense of "looking up your account," although that's on the deposit slip, not my driver's license, and since I have two accounts there, how does my driver's license differentiate anyway? But I, as always, digress...

The other two vehicles didn't seem to be getting much service. I was growing more impatient by the minuteS. The teller spoke through the magical canister house:

"So just the deposit today?"

"Yes. That's it."

"All right. I'm working on it."

More and more waiting. It had been 25 minutes since I got in that line! During normal business hours, with only two other customers in line. Finally, the teller spoke again.

"I'm sorry. My computer just went down. I don't know when it will be back up."

"Can you just deposit that check when it works? I don't need a receipt!"

"Well... I guess I can do that..."

"Then do it. I've been waiting 25 minutes, and I have to be somewhere."

Seriously. This bank has two fax machines that don't work, and they're pretty sure the ones at the main bank over in Bill-Paying Town don't work either. Their coin-counter doesn't work, and they're pretty sure the coin-counter at the main bank doesn't work. And now their computers go down in the middle of the business day.

Why don't they just scrap the whole electronic thing, and start trading in bushels of corn, pigs in pokes, and beef on the hoof?


  1. Seems like they are with most of their equipment just hanging out, doing nothing. Keeps their workload at a minimum!

    1. Yeah. It's their hangout. We customers are so intrusive! I wonder if they've changed their hours back yet. Last I checked, you could only go inside from 10:00 to 2:00, unless you made an appointment. Because of course The Virus took a break from infecting people during those hours...

      I bet they draw straws to see who has to take the appointment people.

  2. I don't think those three last options would work, banks don't generally have stockyards and barns out back, but miracles have been known to happen so who knows?

    1. It WOULD be hard to stuff those items into a canister. So the tubey things might stop working, too.