A couple days ago, some excessively weird weirdos were drawn to Val's weirdo magnet. There must have been a solar flare, or some geological shenanigans charging up Val's weirdo magnet on Tuesday. However, on Wednesday, Val's faith in humanity was partially restored.
I stopped by the main post office to send Genius his updated credit card. I also enclosed some coupon cards he got from a clothing catalog. Genius is a snazzy dresser, and with his upcoming real life career commencing on January 8, I figured he might want to update his wardrobe. These coupons are good for $40 off on a $100 purchase, and $75 off on a $200 purchase. That's some good savings right there, on a college student's budget! Even if he doesn't need to order that much in clothes, he could combine the offer with his roommate, who's also due to graduate in December, with a job lined up in Michigan, or his Friend, who is working a real job already. Never mind that Genius can probably find the same offer online, without scanning those cards...it makes me feel helpful to forward them to him.
Anyhoo...this was not a regular letter, with one piece of paper, and a dollar and a five, and two scratchers. I know that comes in under the weight limit for one stamp. It's good for four regular sheets of paper, you know, before it needs extra postage. But this one had the plastic card, and two laminated cards, and the letter from the bank explaining the credit card activation procedure. I figured to be safe, I'd better check with the post office guy at the counter. Wouldn't want that credit card floating around due to insufficient postage.
I parked T-Hoe beside a light-colored Lincoln Town Car. It's not that I know my cars or have a good memory like that freaky Marilu Henner. My favorite gambling aunt used to drive a cream-colored Lincoln Town Car, and it's something I notice. I always leave room for T-Hoe's wide, wide door to open all the way. It only has two stopping points: all the way, and too narrow to bend my knee to get my leg back in. Of course I didn't fling it open all willy-nilly. I kept a hand on it until I was sure it wouldn't hit the Lincoln Town Car. It did not. There was at least an extra two feet of space. I'm a really good crooked-parker when it comes to leaving room for my door to open fully.
I stepped out, which involves putting one foot on the running board, and stretching the other towards the ground, and sliding off the leather seat until I'm about halfway to the ground, and then taking that running-board foot off and dropping the rest of the way. I've found that this technique makes both my knees the happiest.
Once on the concrete floor of the open parking garage area of the post office, I had to stand a moment to let my legs get used to being unbent. I closed the door and clicked the lock. As I was doing this last-minute circulation routine, the driver of the Lincoln Town Car got out. I assumed she would simply step up on the sidewalk and start walking toward the door. We were about 5-6 spaces away. But no. Driver Lady walked back along her Town Car, made a semi-circle around the trunk, and started up the space between our cars.
What in the Not-Heaven?
Of course I was suspicious, after my double rude encounters the day previous. Why would Driver Lady be walking all up in my space? I thought I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she had a package on the back seat that she was getting. But no. She passed along behind me, stepped up on the sidewalk, and started in. I'll admit that I was looking over first my right shoulder, then my left, trying to see what she was up to. That route didn't seem normal to me. I imagine I also gave her the stinkeye for her trouble. I hobbled to the sidewalk and put my right hand on T-Hoe's hood to balance myself as I stepped up. By then, my knees were once again bathed in synovial fluid, and were creaking along normally.
To my horror, as I neared the door, I saw that Driver Lady was already inside out of my sight, but she was HOLDING THE DOOR OPEN BY THE BAR UNTIL I GOT THERE!
Oh, the SHAME!!!
I felt really bad for thinking Driver Lady was up to something nefarious. Here she was, holding the door open for me, when she was several steps ahead! Of course I thanked her. I saw that rather than just putting mail through the slot in the wall, or checking a post office box, she was heading inside the next set of glass doors to the counter. And she HELD THE DOOR OPEN BY THE BAR AGAIN UNTIL I GOT THERE! Yes! I thanked her again.
Driver Lady stepped left, to a tall table with no chairs, to fill out something before mailing. I got in line behind a lady sending a $400 money order. A man stood to the left, beside a SEE NEXT WINDOW sign at the main counter, filling out his own paperwork. I was really feeling guilty. If Driver Lady had finished up her mail, I'd have gladly insisted that she go ahead of me. She DID enter that area first.
Money Order had none of her forms filled out. She couldn't remember the address. She fished around in her purse, pulled out several scraps, then held one under PO Clerk's nose. He asked her some other question, and she did not know the answer. With every sentence she spoke, Money Order heaved a heavy sigh. I don't know if she had COPD or some breathing problem, or if she was under the influence of prescription medication. Opioid abuse is an epidemic in the heartland, you know. Or so the media tells us.
Anyhoo...while Money Order was fiddling around, PO Clerk suggested that she step aside so he could help other customers. It took her three or four minutes to embrace this idea and get the heck out of the way. In the meantime, the man from the counter got in line behind me, and a woman came in the door. Poor Driver Lady! She was really in for a wait.
PO Clerk asked if he could help me before the air in the space Money Order was vacating had even cooled. I told him I thought the letter was okay for weight, but wanted to make sure. He plopped it on his scale, and said, "It just squeaks by." Huh. I'd been so sure it wasn't even close. Good thing I waited to be certain.
I really wished I could have given Driver Lady cuts in line. Do you think that would have made anyone mad?
In other news, while sitting in a Save A Lot parking space this morning, I saw a LADYBUG! Pardon my excitement, but I haven't seen one since May 20th! Last year it seemed like I couldn't draw a breath without one flying up my nostril!
Anyhoo...I passed Hick's flea market storage store on my way. It's a bad place in the road, right at the top of a hill, and I could barely crane my neck to face backwards and see if his car was there. I was already past the entrance, but Save A Lot is just down the hill, and I needed to pick up some mushrooms and pickles and individual chip bags. All the parking spaces by the store were full, so I had to drive around to the opposite row and park there. I decided to give Hick a quick call to see if he wanted anything else.
Hick said he wanted pickles sliced the long way for his sandwiches, not the dill chips he'd asked for previously. He can't be bothered to pick up a pickle jar from the bottom of FRIG II's door and slice one for himself, you know. Anyhoo...Hick got to telling me all about his "new" merchandise, and that he hopes to get a few buyers tomorrow, since it's the first of the month, and supposed to be good weather.
As Hick talked on and on, while I pretended to be interested, a LADYBUG walked down my windshield, right in front of the steering wheel. Like where you always seem to get a plop of bird poop, and have to look through it while you're driving. That ladybug was moving! More like jogging than walking. I wanted really bad to get a picture of it, but I was talking to Hick on my camera. I didn't want to cut him off. He was as excited as a kid on Christmas Eve. I don't like to spoil his fun when he finds something to be excited about. Meanwhile, the ladybug ran off the windshield and onto that metal post part where the side window starts. It flew off and made some curlicues in the air, and butted against the driver's window a couple of times.
At a normal pause, I told Hick that I had a ladybug trying to get in. He said, "Huh. That's nice." And went on telling me more about his wares, and that he was headed to get a $4.00 lunch special at Hardee's. We wrapped up the conversation, and I saw the ladybug back at the front windshield, making a landing approach, when a gust of wind swirled it up and away. I looked for it when I got out, but it was gone.
At least I got to see it.
I'm a thinkin' that lady bug brought you a nice Driver Lady. She could've been the type that checked out the distance between your two vehicles and harrumphed "I just wanted to make sure you didn't scratch my car."ReplyDelete
I would not fault her at all for checking out her passenger-side paint job. HOWEVER...there was a man riding shotgun, so I imagine she could have consulted him for this information, since he was watching me as I got out.Delete
It would have been nice if the timing of the line was right for you to slip Driver Lady in, it is really nice to find people with manners now days, like her holding the door when you really wern't there yet as opposed to letting it shut in your face if you had been. You thinking about letting her cut into line should get you a few points in my opinion, enough to cancel out the stinkeye anyways.ReplyDelete
Yes, it's the thought that counts. I hope there isn't a road to Not-Heaven being paved with my good intentions!Delete
Someone posted a photo of what I thought was ladybugs and I commented on their cuteness but I was told they are Japanese beetles. Hmmf. They looked like ladybugs to me.ReplyDelete
I imagine 99% of the "ladybugs" I see are really those beetles. They are more orange, and have smaller spots, I think, that actual ladybugs.Delete
We always called them ladybugs, though.
Extra points if you snap a picture of a ladybug sitting on a penny.ReplyDelete
That would probably mean your mom has a VERY important message for you!!Delete
I don't even want the points! I want a picture like that to hang on the wall of my dark basement lair!Delete
There's more to this ladybug story that I found out last night. Coming up on Saturday. The antipennyite crowd is safe, but the antiladybugites should be forewarned!
Ladybugs & airplanes both have trouble landing in high winds!!ReplyDelete
My lovely lady-mullet was having trouble staying in its holding pattern. I don't even think Aqua Net would have helped.Delete
Well, if you want my "ladybugs" you can have them!! I went out to clean bathrooms and found that the ladies' room door was left open and the "ladybugs" were cling to the ceiling and walls. The corners had big clumps of them. Took me quite awhile to sweep them all down and out the door! Good to hear that Hick has a good thing going! This should keep him busy enough to not build another shack!ReplyDelete
I love ladybugs (we call them lady birds for some odd reason unknown to me), but I so rarely see them anymore and never more than one at a time. I think it's been several years since one landed on my kindle at the bus stop and walked right across the top of the screen before flying away.ReplyDelete