Awtum was Her Name-O
Awtum Leeves is AWESOME! She's a tap-dancing dynamo in high demand at fall festivals. From the day she was born, to a solid round of "Aw..." from those in attendance, Awtum's mother knew she was destined for greatness. Awtum's tiny feet tapped out a rhythm before she even left the womb. Now she's on the road to stardom.
Awtum is sweeter than a Sugar Maple, and more colorful than a Rainbow Eucalyptus. She thrives in the spotlight, and has taken up deforestation as her cause. Will Awtum's campaign to save the forests attract the ire of loggers and construction contractors? Has her high profile put her safety out on a limb? (110 words)
Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book
A Tree, falling in the forest with no one there..."Listen! Listen to me! Can anybody hear me? Thevictorian must be whacked before she wastes any more trees for these blighted fake books of hers!"
Bonsai Tree..."This author is stunted, with little writing talent. No amount of editing can shape her work into anything resembling beauty."
Quaking Aspen..."Shiver me timbers! This fake book makes me pale at the though of this fake author producing another such atrocity."
A Tannenbaum..."My lovely branches are certainly not green with envy over this fake author's fake book. Her editor didn't do enough chopping, I fear."
Hemlock Tree..."A tea made from my leaves is perfectly safe. Just ask Wikipedia! You'll certainly find better quality writing there than on the fake pages of Thevictorian's fake book. Anybody want a few of my leaves to make that tea for Thevictorian? As a goodwill gesture, of course. Even a hack needs to hydrate. I bear her no ill will for poisoning the pool of fake book writers."
Weeping Willow..."Alas, if only I could shed real tears of sympathy for anyone who fake-read this fake book!"
Oak Tree..."I'd give my left acorn to never hear of Thevictorian again!"
Sycamore Tree..."Too many reviewers try to sound as if this fake author is actually readable. I, for one, have the balls to throw shade, to be the hatchet man, and announce that Thevictorian needs to make like a tree and leaf the literary world!"
This one actually sounds interesting. A little tap dancing dynamo? But only in e-book form so no trees are hurt or maimed in the production of it.ReplyDelete
That would imply that Val is a friend of the environment. The weirdos who are drawn to her weirdo magnet might resent such a relationship!Delete
I couldn't have predicted that you could use your science background in this. Bravo. (And YOUR post sprouted right on time.)ReplyDelete
I loved the reviews (as usual) along with the puns in your blurb.
Val is unpredictable. You never know when the seeds of an idea might grow in her intermittently fertile imagination.Delete
Thanks. Why fake-buy the fake book when you can read the fake reviews for free on the back cover?
I'm with River on this one, Awtum's fake books do sound like they will make an interesting series, especially with the next one coming at half price. Publishing only fake e-books is an excellent idea to save a lot of fake trees, my only question is, you say she has taken up deforestation. Does this mean that she is for clearing out the trees or for saving them? If she is for deforestation I say print those fake book...I'll take one.ReplyDelete
Sorry to be ambiguous. Or AM I? What if Awtum is using her backdrops as a front for deforesting the land? Chopping down trees to make paper to make fake trees?Delete
Your fake book is in the fake mail!
Critics are praying for termites to dispatch this wooden story.ReplyDelete
Ooh! This might be your best review yet! Though not a good one for Val...Delete
If I fake buy tree (I mean three) of this fake book do I get the NEXT three at half price? I know, leaf you alone!!ReplyDelete
As a budding entrepreneur, I'll have to stick to my original fake price. I'm rooting for myself to earn a trunk full of green.Delete