I hear that truck a-comin'
It's rolling down the drive
And I ain't seen the BARn floor
Since Pony was alive
I'm stuck at Backroads homestead
Where junk keeps piling up
But the junk man keeps a-draggin'
In more and more broke stuff.
When I was just a young Val
My mama told me, "Girl,
Always be a good wife
Don't give his junk a hurl,"
But I stashed his kitchen chicken
On a shelf up high
As a prank it's not that funny
To see a grown man cry.
I bet there's rich folks eatin'
In a fancy dinin' room
While we eat on TV trays
Scavenged by my groom
Well I should have seen it comin'
Hick's always loved his junk
And he knows that he must have it
That swivels, sways, or clunks.
Well, if they freed me from this homestead
I would walk outside and go
I'd channel Nancy Reagan
Teach Hick to just say no
Finding old road treasures
Must stop in a heartbeat
The next thing to be banished:
Boxes of Auction Meat.
Oh, who am I foolin'? I can't play the guitar! I'm not the woman in black. I've never even been to Reno. I'm just a Backroads housewife, tired of her husband bringing home junk. Let the record show that not only are we up to our ears in "collectables" from my mom's house...but Hick has seen fit to bring more treasures home with him.
"Val! When I went to work yesterday, there were two little tables at the end of a driveway on the county road. I meant to pick them up as I came home, but they were gone. Instead, I saw some shelves and a high chair. I went on by, but I was thinking, 'Those shelves would go good in The Pony's Sword Shack.' And your dad and I bought an old high chair like that when I took him to the auction one time. So when I got to my turnoff, I turned around and went back. It was about a half mile. They were still there, so I loaded them up. Come out and look! I have them on the porch."
This is what I'm up against. Somebody with a guitar (Joe H?) play me out. Maybe you know this one.
I find all of these items very interesting, but then they aten't on my property. I hope Joe does play you out.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you need these two items as much as I do! I am patiently waiting for a selection from A Man Named Jerk.
DeleteSong has Emmy award winning potential. The high chair...well hang on to it till one of your boys gives you a grandbaby, or sell it as an antique. The shelves, oh yeah, I think he's found himself a real treasure there.
ReplyDeleteThat chair looks like a baby could get a head through there. Either old, or imported! I must say I think I could find a use for the shelves. When I cut a record (no digital music for Val!) I will send you one.
DeleteI've been working on it, but I'm not there yet. It has a good boom chick-a-boom beat though.
ReplyDeleteAs long as you're practicing, I won't let anyone call you Jerk.
DeleteWhy, Val, you're a wunderkind!
ReplyDeleteThank you. Most folks just say I'm breathtaking.
DeleteLinda is right. That one's a winner. I'm thinking Hick is a pack rat since he sounds better than a hoarder and not as refined as a collector. Although that high chair looks antique-ish to me.
ReplyDeleteI think you have analyzed Hick correctly! I will try to persuade him to send you those items as payment for your services.
DeleteI can see your future, After you retire, you're going to move to Nashville and become a country and western song writer.
ReplyDeleteDon'[t forget us when you become famous. Perhaps you can get us some backstage passes for some of the new friends you make there?
First I'll go on a cross-country promotional tour with Hick driving his new used tractor. We'll eat bologna from roadside mom & pop stores. Maybe we'll get to Nashville...maybe we won't.
DeleteI too think you have a future as a song writer. And at least he's not dragging home deer carcasses. I think my mom had that high chair, by the way!
ReplyDeleteMaybe my next song will be about dragging home a deer carcass. Hick almost did that, you know. He found one dead on our upper 10 acres, called the conservation agent so he didn't get in trouble, and then cut the antlers off to hang in his creekside cabin.
DeleteFor all we know, that might be the very high chair your mom had! Hard telling where Hick's stuff comes from.