Sometimes I feel the need to sit my students down, near the tennis-balled feet of my walker, adjust my shawl, add a little extra Poligrip to my upper plate, harrumph a couple of times, and tell them stories of the olden days. Just this morning I had that urge.
"Mrs. Thevictorian? What's a calm zone?"
"Uh. I don't know. You mean, like a weather kind of thing? Or a room where you go to calm down, like giving yourself a timeout?"
"Huh? How can we eat THAT?"
"EAT it?"
"Yeah. It's on the menu for lunch today. And I want to know if I'll like it."
"Oh. CALZONE! It's...like a Hostess fruit pie with pizza inside. Not an actual slice of pizza. Pizza flavoring. For the filling. And the crust is like pizza crust."
Thank goodness some of the young whippersnappers put it in terms she could understand.
"You'll like it. It's like a Hot Pocket with pizza sauce inside."
"Oh. I'm going to try it. Where did they ever come up with a name like CALZONE?"
"Well...I'm pretty sure it was named for the Italian food that's called a calzone."
I don't know why she looked at me like I didn't know what I was talking about.
She looked at you like that because you just recently crawled out from underneath a rock. And you have two heads. And you're over the age of 30. Aren't you?
ReplyDeleteI guess you can't mess with your kids the way I can. I tell my students were drinking (whatever pertains to the theme of the day) bone juice for skeletons, or leaf juice.
ReplyDeleteCan't comment right now. I'm in my calm zone. Giving myself a much needed time out to adjust my shawl and add a little extra Poligrip to my upper plate. HARRUMPH.
ReplyDeleteKids today. Calzones are delicious.
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteOnly yesterday I had the kids thinking I was 29! Uh huh. It all started when one of them asked, "Did you color your hair?" Which I did, about three weeks ago, so she's not the most observant observer in the observatory.
"Well, Ma'am, that is a bit personal. But I have been coloring my hair since I was about 28 years old. Which was just last year."
"You're 29?" She's really good at math. Just not at observing.
"Sure I am. For many years now." Sarcasm is sometimes lost on the young. Like irony. I think.
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Linda,
Indeed, I cannot tell my students they are drinking bone juice. I am NOT going to be the winning loser in that running bet of which faculty member will appear on Channel 5 news first.
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Leenie,
I hope you have your Jitterbug next to your rocking chair, just in case a credit card scammer calls.
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Stephen,
You'd think they've never seen how much trouble George Costanza went to in order to bring them to Mr. Steinbrenner for lunch.