Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Psyche Scarring Provided at No Extra Charge

The Pony will be joining the varsity Smartypants Team in a tournament on Saturday. He is fired up. He lives for this kind of stuff. Today he had practice with only the varsity. They competed against a team of teachers. Funny how I was not invited to participate. I guess I'm too smarty for my shirt.

Since The Pony will sing like a canary when it comes to all things Smartypants, I was able to gather intelligence on the ride home. Crucial items, like the participants, the team makeup each quarter, the winners, and the score. I also became privy to a near pronunciation faux pas.

"I won't say what the word was, but the question was about a monument. And the name of it ended like 'Zack.' It started with a 'B'. It was like 'ball.' And first one of the teachers started to shake, and then they all looked at each other and laughed out loud, and then they were hysterical."

"Huh. Maybe you should have reminded that one about the time she was the reader for the middle school Smartypants Competition, and started out a question by stating that the octopus has eight testi--"

"I WAS THERE! I remember what she said! You don't have to mention the word!"

That's right. I don't have to. But it sure is fun.


  1. And I suppose the students found the teachers to be juvenile. Nothing like a good hysterical laugh, always funnier when there is a witness. I sometimes do it all alone, with just the dogs looking at me ..........

  2. Even super Smartypants people can make foe paws.

    I'm guessing most H.S. teachers avoid discussions about balls, the conjugation of lie, lay, lain and probably poetry like, "There Is No Frigate Like a Book."

  3. So, did you go on the catwalk with your smarty-shirt?

    Yes, there are words that I avoid like the plague when it comes to my third graders. There are potential mine fields at every turn.

  4. I can see it now, the whole place cracking up.

  5. Kathy,
    Yes, I'm sure that teachers having a good time is frowned upon by the students. Whereas dogs revel in the good humor with you, grinning and wagging tails and yipping and yapping.

    The rock chapter is particularly difficult. Like some of the tests to determine what kind of rock you've found. I'm talking about cleavage and hardness.

    Who would have thought today's simple game of Science Jeopardy could be so fraught with danger. Do you know the name for the substance submarines manipulate in order to sink and float? It's ballast. Which is not pronounced ball*ass, contrary to the opinion of several Missouri land-lubbing ninth graders.

    We also try not to say crack. Thank you.

  6. Well, wait until you try to teach a class about tonsillectomies and adenoidectomies - commonly known in the medical field as T&A. Once I finally got the students straight faced with the abbreviation, I turned around and saw corporate from California listening to my lecture about T&A! I invited them in to the class room - but they declined...

  7. knancy,
    What kind of Californian would ever turn down T&A? I'm shocked that people weren't pouring in off the streets once they got wind of your topic.