Sunday, November 17, 2013

Even Steven and Mother Nature Are Surely in Cahoots

I should have expected it, really. Nobody runs up a tab on Even Steven and gets away with it.

The past several days have been the opposite of the crap sandwich I was served a while back. It has been like dining on Beluga caviar spread on toast points laid with gold leaf, sprinkled liberally with white truffle shavings and saffron. Until today.

Yes, my life has been chugging along, right on track. We've all benefited lately from Magnanimous Mr. Even Steven. The Pony's ACT results were posted this week, and he achieved a 33 composite score. That's out of a perfect 36, mind you, and puts him right up there in the top 1% of composite ACT scores nationwide. Not too shabby for his first try, and being a lowly sophomore to boot! Hick had a day away from his workplace Friday to attend a meeting in Jefferson City. He was able to squeeze in a visit with Genius on his college campus on the way home. Plus, he scored a coup at the auction last night, with a scantily-clad pin-up girl (as opposed to those pin-up girls who wear Victorian swimsuits) on a Pepsi tray. Sure, it wasn't Coca Cola memorabilia. But it was good enough for Hick. I have no idea where he's going to find room to display it. That might require an addition onto his BARn.

What about me, you ask? I had a day off work Friday for the eye doctor, and a lengthy visit with my best old ex-teaching buddy Mabel. And when I stopped for gas station chicken to bring home for supper, the chicken man threw in an extra wing! AND when I took The Pony for his promised fast-food reward after the Walmart shopping today, the girl at the drive-thru window explained that a guy who passed through earlier had left enough money to pay for the man ahead of us, and still have $3.00 left to take off our order! Of course I was grateful. Though The Pony groused that if we had been just one car quicker, our whole $6.50 tab would have been paid. Not like he would ever pay it behind for anybody. We've all learned how he is really not interested in helping people.

So, there I was, flying high, all optimistic about my Sunday afternoon, having gotten up early to do that shopping in order to get home before the storm hit. Judging from the clouds, The Pony predicted that it would reach us within ten minutes of our home arrival. He was right. I was warming up my lunch in the oven, and asked him to toss out some old bread to the chickens. He came back reporting that the rain had started. No harm, no foul. I was inside, you see, in my house impervious to rain. Hick was somewhere on the grounds, as evidenced by the unlocked door and the absence of the fleabags who trail him and his Gator like greyhounds after a mechanical rabbit. I placed my lunch on a tray and headed down to my dark basement lair to grab a little internet time. As I set that tray beside New Delly, my desktop, Even Steven stabbed me through the heart.


It flickered momentarily to give me false hope, then snapped off like a dad's big toe in a student's story about missing homework. At this moment, it is still off. My power. Not that dad's big toe. Thank goodness we found Hick in the BARn and commanded him to power up the generator. That's how I have internet. But not heat. Or lights. We have to be selective in our ampage. Computer and TV trump lights and heat.

With no estimated repair time in sight, I am settling in for a cold, dark evening. Hick immediately jumped into his Gator and took off to find the mitigating factor. Or, as he calls it, the tree that fell across the road and took down the power line. It's not far away. Just down at the bottom of our gravel hill, on the road up past the boys' land. Hick called to give me the transformer number and the pole number. I relayed that info to my brother-in-law the ex-mayor, who works for Ameren. It doesn't move us up the list for repairs, but it saves the crew from driving around looking for that tree needle in our boondocks haystack.

I wonder how many hours Even Steven will require until we are square...


  1. Apparently, that same storm is due in West Virginia late this evening. Most of the lines where I live are under ground as the city does not want to spoil the view of the boulevard (river road gem) that showcases our lovely waterfront. Doesn't mean crap. Lines blow down elsewhere - all connected - same outcome. Hope I am asleep when it happens.

  2. Congratulations to The Pony for those great ACT scores. I feel honored to picked the Internet instead of heat. I'm not sure I'd have made that choice.

  3. I have power AND Internet. What I no longer have is a privacy fence surrounding my back yard. The swirling wind was downright scary as I watched my new shed tumble across the wide open field and get caught up in Martha's sycamore tree. Had I not planted that twig a few years back, that mangled shed may have punctured the siding on her 5th wheel. I had a good view, with the fence flat on the ground, the posts broken at ground level .....

  4. I wonder if--when The Pony is a senior--he will eclipse his older brother?

    I hope your power is on soon. You need electricity to grade papers and work on lesson plans...(I know you ALWAYS use your time at home in constructive ways.)

  5. Well I just hope Even Steven gives you back those gold leaf truffle shavings along with other luxuries like heat and light. And congratulations to The Pony for such a great ACT score!

  6. Kudos to The Pony. You made the right choice; I too would have chosen internet over heat. You call it Even Steven; I call it LRC Life's roller coaster. Hope the former mayor can pull some wires for you.

  7. Congrats to Pony. Well done. And well done on the great auction grab to Hick. Hope that trip to the eye doctor didn't set you back to poverty level.

    Just glad the only thing you got hit with from Mother Nature's bad mood was a power outage. I was watching the Weather Channel when that line of tornadoes went through Illinois. When those guys say, "Take Cover NOW!" they mean it.

  8. knancy,
    I hope you enjoyed a pleasant slumber, and that any damage was minimal.

    The Pony appreciates the acknowledgement.

    What's the point of being warm and well-lit if there's nothing to do? I draped my special soft Christmas prize blanket around my shoulders. Like a shawl. An old lady's shawl...

    I have a secure fence AND dry toes! We're like that Sprat couple and their fat.

    The Pony's goal IS to eclipse. Which means he has to score a perfect 36 to beat Genius's 35. Still, on his first attempt, Genius scored a 31.

    The power came back at 8:15. Only down nine hours. I have not brought a shred of work home in many years. That's why I stay after school every day to get caught up. Cus the custodian is never happy with the hours I keep. It's Cus's domain after 2:56. I mainly stay until 4:30, not counting meeting days and conference days when we have to stay until 7:00.

    Home time is my time. School time is work time.

    Even Stephen needs to balance the scale. He furthermore caused Hick to overcook the hamburgers on Gassy G last night. Hick NEVER overcooks the hamburgers. Plus, his BBQ accoutrements kept sailing over the railing, and The Pony had to be dispatched to run around the garage and fetch them from the back yard. Twice.

    At least we had Gassy G. Can't run the stove on the generator, unless we turn off Frig and the computers and the TV. We really need a bigger generator.

    The ex-mayor reported the information, which probably saved an hour or two of the work crews driving around in the dark, shining flashlights up at the wires to see where the problem occurred.

    ACK! The eye doctor! At least it's just two sets of lenses, not two sets of frames with lenses.

    Illinois, our neighbor to the east by about 30 miles, got a butt-whoopin' from that tornado line. We lost three trees (that we can see, though who knows what happened down in the woods), but all the pets are fine, and the structures were undamaged.