I have some advice for Sprint.
Today I opened my bill, nine pages long, with two pages being full-page promotional materials for...you guessed it...SPRINT! One wants me to turn on my friends and family to Sprint. Like I would wish that on my arch nemesis. I guess it's so hard to turn people on to Sprint that Sprint can afford to pay people $50 for each new customer sent their way. Kind of like tying a pork chop around your unpopular child's neck so at least a dog might play with him.
But it was the other page that rattled my cage. Stuck in my craw. Got my granny panties in a wad. Forced me to have a cow. Became a thorn in my side. Made my blood boil.
STOP WASTING TIME
No, that's not advice to myself to lay off the cliches and get on with the rest of the story. That's what was on that Sprint-centric page. Nothing on the back. Just large bold letters spelling STOP WASTING TIME. To make me switch over to paperless billing, it seems. Don't you find that a bit ironic? I don't, because I never grasped the meaning of that whole "irony" concept. But maybe you do, and you will.
I have no desire to switch to paperless billing. If the simple act of driving a box of books to my post office without losing them cannot be done by the U.S. Postal Service, what guarantee do I have that Sprint won't incur some glitch that wreaks havoc with my vital information?
Paperless billing is a gateway notification to automatic payment. I'll be having none of that. Sprint already uses the devious tactic of "saving paper" by making customers carefully peel away their billing envelope in order to re-fold it for mailing back the payment. As if becoming an unwilling practitioner of the ancient art of origami will make us divulge our personal information online. I've had it with Sprint's passive-aggressive ways. So here's my advice for Sprint:
STOP WASTING PAPER
Leave out your two pages of self-serving promotions. In fact, that in itself will help me to STOP WASTING TIME sorting through them and complaining about them.