Tuesday, October 29, 2013

They're Gonna Love That Sweet, Sweet Nose in Prison

Exhibit A

The Defendant

How do you plead?

The defendant consults her attorney.

Your honor, if I may approach the bench...

What you have here is circumstantial evidence, at best.

I say you drop the charges, and my client will seek a 90-day shock treatment program for her addiction to brown rubber chickens with one foot chewed off.

As the sun sets over Backroads, the victim treads lightly in the background, more harm done to his pride than to his body. The alleged perpetrator shows remorse.


  1. Very funny!

    Judge Judy would convict him in a minute!

  2. That could NOT be sweet Juno. If Juno was white, there would not be any of this rotten profiling going on.

    She needs a lawyer to protect her civil rights.

  3. One of those "not from here" dogs got too excited, got loose and did it.

  4. Umm, you know the odd couple walking their mutt? Could I interject another piece of circumstantial evidence, your honor? Poor Juno.

  5. I think the cat, attorney, did it. That's a guilty look if you ask me.

  6. Are you very sure the cat is innocent.

  7. joeh,
    Judge Judy needs to look out for her leg getting peed on.

    Juno needs an advocate to protect her from the mudslinging of Hick and The Pony, who slander her at every turn. Are you qualified to take the case, Madam? I will need to see your credentials.

    Thank you for that information. I'm sure it will muddy up the waters when the jury is deliberating.

    Maybe I could pick up some litter from along the road, and you could create a diorama of sorts to show how this scenario might have played out. Exhibit B, I'll label it.

    That darn cat, who goes by the name of Genius, so named by his master, Genius, has a rap sheet a Juno-tail long. He's quite the infamous home-invader, and has been charged with attempted breaking-and-entering due to an eye-witness report of him standing on his back legs, trying to turn the doorknob of the kitchen door. I think he also dabbles in insurance fraud, what with his penchant for darting under feet and squalling like a mean-tempered baby.

    No. Now that people have put the finger on him, I'm starting to doubt his act.