How do you plead?
The defendant consults her attorney.
Your honor, if I may approach the bench...
What you have here is circumstantial evidence, at best.
I say you drop the charges, and my client will seek a 90-day shock treatment program for her addiction to brown rubber chickens with one foot chewed off.
As the sun sets over Backroads, the victim treads lightly in the background, more harm done to his pride than to his body. The alleged perpetrator shows remorse.