Hick had a routine screening test scheduled on Monday. A colonoscopy. Though he can't ever remember the name, and calls it a colonostomy, which is another thing entirely. Anyhoo, he had to drink the prep liquid, and stop eating on Sunday. The Veteran volunteered to take him. Hick drove to The Veteran's house. They took SilverRedO to the hospital. Then returned to The Veteran's house afterward, for Hick to drive himself back home. No. That was NOT what Hick was instructed to do.
Hick knew that the hospital would not release him to drive himself home after the anesthesia. So he added that extra step with The Veteran. So he could then drive himself about the county, namely to eat lunch at the Senior Center, since he was STARVING after his pre-test fast.
Hick had fish for lunch. With broccoli, potato salad, fried corn, and banana pudding as dessert. The corn he described as kernels in a batter, formed in balls like hush puppies. Anyhoo... quite a bit of roughage for one who had just undergone an invasive procedure of the colon.
"The nurse told me I could fart if I had to. I did a little bit. But when I left, I went to the flip house, and sat on the toilet while I was calling the city about the water bill and extending it since I was still working on the house. I farted the whole time I sat there!"
Again, not something a normal person would do, but this is our Hick, the bargain-scamming, cook's pet, soft-hearted and soft-headed denizen of Backroads, not overly-endowed with couth.
Hick said the doctor was not concerned with the polyps he sent out for testing, and recommended a follow-up test in three years. As for Hick, he's back on his regular tooting schedule.
Someone here calls it a colostomy. I have described the difference in gory detail, but to no avail. My mother could not say oxygen, which has three syllables. Her version had two. Then she had an aneurysm. She called it "anarysm" and thought it was a distinct type of blood clot. I carefully explained her malady, even used a ballon to demonstrate that the vessel wall had a weakness. Might have been speaking in another language. I am surprised he was able to shovel down all that food! You might recall that HeWho is an idiot got hungry in the middle of the night and scarfed down a balogna sandwich and told no one until AFTER the procedure. I apologized profusely to the team that performed his procedure. My daughter in MN recently had a scare, she has an aneurysm in her brain. Her blood pressure was 180/130 when she got to the hospital. She suffered no deficits from her adventure and is doing well now.
ReplyDeleteHick had no problem scarfing down that full meal! At least he obeyed the pre-procedure instructions overnight. Good that your daughter is okay after that ordeal!
DeleteGood to hear the polyps aren't cause for concern, my brother has a few removed each time too, and so far so good. I'm glad there was no one around while Hick was doing all that farting.
ReplyDeleteYes! The staff at the hospital is used to it, because that's what they do. But I hope the lady at the water department didn't hear the echos while Hick was talking to her!
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