The Fidgety Spinner

As you know, Val leaves no weirdo unfound. She seeks them out, subconsciously following the pull of her weirdo magnet. Tuesday was no exception. Hick decreed that we would travel to our new favorite casino, so he could visit his new favorite pawn shop. He could have gone by himself, but you know how his ears would grow closed, not hearing Val's constant complaints of his sweaving.

Hick and I both earned our $10 food credit, and had a delicious, although delayed, lunch at 2:00. That casino was simply crawling with old people, who all lined up for their free food at 12:45. I KNOW! You'd think I could outsmart old people by choosing a time off the hour and the half-hour. But no! It's almost as if Val and the old people are on the same wavelength!

Anyhoo...Hick left to do his pawn-purchasing, while I set about losing my money. Actually, I had a nice win right after we rescheduled lunch, and Hick was on his way out.

I was only a couple spins in, playing Wonder 4 Boost, all four screens on Wild Americoin.

Here's the screen when my bonus hit, with the final bonus win already put over on the CREDIT section. I was too slow to get the final bonus total picture.

This was a regular bonus, one screen, but it gave me the BOOST feature, to four screens, as soon as it started.

No pictures of lunch, because we got the same foods as usual. The pulled pork with tater tots for me, and the mushroom and swiss burger with fries for Hick. We also had lemon meringue pie, because it looked so delicious (and was). Sadly, I didn't get called away from lunch this time as a drawing winner!

Hick said we could stay another 45 minutes after lunch. I immediately went to cash out the ticket of winnings I'd compiled. I had a twenty in my pocket, left from my casino bankroll, and my $30 cash comp that I was planning to save for scratchers. There was one game I wanted to play, Fortune Coin. On my way there, I passed the row of four Wonder 4 Boost slots again.

Huh. It wouldn't hurt to play a twenty in the slot on the left end. I'd won my money on the slot on the right end. But something called me to this one. I put in my money, and that slot couldn't stop paying me! Right off the bat, I got a bonus, which paid me $135. I decided to play it down to $100, and cash out an even number, but it wouldn't let me! I hit ANOTHER bonus, this time with a blue $, the SUPER FREE games, meaning 4 screens, and then it retriggered. So I had 14 games, all 4 screens.

It was quite exciting. The lady sitting beside me, having a blast with her own $65 bonus, seemed a bit envious of my good fortune. That bonus paid me $220.45. Imagine if it had been anything other than the minimum bet of $2.40 a spin, which is .60 per game. I cashed out my winnings in a hot Backroads minute, put that ticket in my purse, and headed over to Fortune Coin, to spend my $30 comp cash on my final slot. No way was I playing with my winning ticket, or cashing it out before leaving.

WEIRDO ALERT!

The Fortune Coin that I wanted to play was taken. So I went to the other side, where there are two more. I had to make my way past a dude spinning on his stool. Not all the way around, but back and forth. His legs like a horizontal pendulum. At first I thought he was finishing out his money, and getting ready to leave.

NO!

The Fidgety Spinner was all hyped up on something. Perhaps just winning, though I'm thinking more along the lines of Red Bull, or an illegal substance. BACK and FORTH, BACK and FORTH. He had bent his legs back, so he could spin to the left, then past the slot and back to the right, where I sat. About a 180-degree spin each time. OVER and OVER. All the while, SLAPPING the SPIN button. He wasn't a pounder like the weirdo in Oklahoma. Just a slapper. Which is annoying enough.

Fidgety Spinner acted like he was in a slot tournament, determined to get as many spins as possible in a limited time period. Whatever he was doing seemed to be working. But more likely, he had just hit that slot at a time when it was in a paying cycle of the Random Number Generator. He got bonus after bonus. I don't know what he started with, but the credit on his machine was $300-something. Although he WAS betting $3.00 a spin.

My Fortune Coin fiddled around a bit, then ate my money. Not a problem! It was time to go, and I still had my second big ticket from Wild Americoin to cash out! Good thing we stayed longer after lunch!

I enjoy having a profitable day at the casino, but I enjoy even more having an extra-profitable day at the casino. Although I enjoy it a little less when my weirdo magnet is strong.

VAL People Problem #11,578: A Fried Dough Faux Pas

Hick stopped to pick up treats on the way home from our little trip on Tuesday. I don't mean the firearms he got at a pawn shop for resale, or the trinkets he didn't show me from Goodwill. No, it was donuts Hick procured. Right in front of me! Okay, to share with me. Instead of sneaking them in secret every morning at Casey's.

When Hick brought the box to the car, I asked what kind he got. He muttered something about some filled ones, and pink icing, and white with some stripes, and
"...some with funny faces."

"What? I don't get it."

"They had funny faces on them. I can't describe it any better than that."

Can nobody take pride in a job well done these days? Once again, I am grateful that I don't need brain surgery, I haven't booked a ticket on a rocket to Mars, and I don't live next to a nuclear power plant.

Nope. My problem pales in comparison to those scenarios. But I WOULD like to see my donut winking at me the proper way. Not with a wonky, upside-down eyelid.

How, in this day of emojis, could such a tragic culinary-artist faux pas be foisted onto the innocent public? And don't think that right eye is wasted on me! I don't see any lines representing the straps of a pirate eye-patch. That's just a terrible frosting rendering of a drooling smiley-face peeper.

It was almost as if Thomas Jefferson missed the boot when sitting down to take a crap!

There's not even the excuse of it being a knock-off supermarket donut. This treat came from KRISPY KREME! Also, it was not an isolated incident. There were two of these in the box, EXACTLY ALIKE!

This is truly a black eye for the Krispy Kreme empire.

My Competition Must Be Eliminated!

Tuesday, Hick and I took a day trip, and were gone from 10:00 to 5:30. This interfered with my daily procurement of a 44 oz Diet Coke and scratchers. The minute we got home in A-Cad, Hick jumped in SilverRedO to go to an auction. Not to be outdone, I grabbed my purse and previous scratcher winners, and hopped in T-Hoe for a trip to town.

I added a little more ice to my magical elixir, since I was getting a late start, which would curtail my sipping time. I usually get just a smattering of ice cubes, and add them at home throughout the day.

Next stop was Country Mart, for scratchers. I go there several times a week. I try to vary the places I buy my scratchers. This time, I wanted a specific $10 ticket for myself, and two $5 tickets to send Genius. I knew which of the two machines I was getting each from. I have a plan in my head before I leave home.

When I parked T-Hoe, a gray minivan parked one space over. I got out at the same time as the other driver. I hate it when that happens. Do we walk side-by-side along the sidewalk in front of the store? Do I dart ahead so it's not weird? Do I allow him to forge in front of me?

I chose the latter, because I'm not very swift. Neither was he. It was the gray-beard, overalls-wearing, Santa-Man that I see there pretty often, buying tickets. I trailed behind him. Of course he turned left when he entered the double doors, to the machine where I wanted my $10 ticket, and one of Genius's new Lady Luck $5 tickets.

I went to the right, and got a Lady Luck. Good thing I had small bills this time! Those scratcher machines don't give change! I waited at an abandoned checkout lane for Santa-Man to finish his business. He was certainly taking his sweet time about it. I couldn't see the tickets he bought. They fell down to the tray with their backside showing, and his body was between me and the touch screen. I didn't begrudge him his time. It's not like I had anywhere to be. Finally, Santa-Man stepped aside. He turned to look at me.

"I left you some winners in there."

"I hope so! There's one specific ticket that I wanted out of that machine!"

Genius's ticket wasn't a big deal. I could always get it somewhere the next day. But I wanted that $10 ticket for myself. I put in my money and purchased my tickets. On the way back to T-Hoe, I was behind Santa-Man. He walked down the passenger side of his minivan, around the back, and opened the driver's door. I wasn't really paying attention to him, but my mind thought that was kind of weird.

Santa-Man started chatting again.

"I thought I saw something shiny. Which I thought might be a quarter. So I went to look and it WAS a quarter! I picked it up."

Of course my heart sank. A QUARTER! Right there for the taking! Santa-Man got it first!

"I always pick up coins. Even the pennies! I have a whole collection."

"I pick up the pennies, but not if they're face down! That's bad luck!"

"Doesn't matter to me. Now you've found the quarter ahead of me, and probably got the winners out of that machine ahead of me, too!"

"We'll see!"

At least my $10 ticket that I wanted so bad won me back $10. Even Steven. I suppose I just had a feeling it was a winner. Not necessarily a BIG winner. I may never know about Genius's tickets, which he won't get until next Tuesday, and won't bother to tell me unless it's a BIG winner, or I remember to ask.

Seriously. What are the odds that I'd encounter that Santa-Man four hours later than our regular awkward meet-up time, and that he'd nab A QUARTER before me?

That quarter was obviously meant for him. At least I know why some weeks I can't find a penny. And why sometimes they all seem to be face-down!

Knock, Knock, Knockin' on Death's Door

That Hick! He certainly has a way with words. We were discussing the fear pr0n of the coronavirus all over TV. Not making light of the situation. I'm just a bit puzzled on how people in a nursing home caught it. Surely they were not vacationing in China, or taking cruises.

"With what I've heard about the test kits, how can they be sure that coronavirus was the cause of these deaths? It's not like those people were out mingling in casinos. Was that facility a Grand Central Station of visitors? I just can't make sense of it."

"You and your conspiracies! But I will say, my friend from high school, the one who's in a nursing home in Pennsylvania...she's been at death's bed for over six months now. With her broken leg, and pneumonia, and her overall health. If somebody said she died of coronavirus, I'd say there were a lot of other problems that were killing her already."

"Wait. She can be 'at death's door'. Or she can be 'on her death bed'. But don't say she's 'at death's bed'! That makes her sound like a floozy looking for some action!"

"Heh, heh. You know what I mean. Death's DOOR, then. She hasn't been well for a while, so I wouldn't be surprised if something happened to her."

That Hick. He's like my 2nd best old ex-teaching buddy, Karen, who always proclaimed she knew me like a book, and could read me like the back of her hand.

The Ring Lady and the Beater

Of course no casino trip is complete without a weirdo. Hick got one this time. Two, actually. He was sitting back at the carousel of former Wonder Women games, and a lady came up and asked if there was a ticket in his machine. Heh, heh! Déjà vu for Hick! He said,

“No. But there was two beer cans sitting here on it!”

She said, “Those were mine. This is the last place I had my ticket.”

Hick told her too bad. HE didn’t see her ticket. She wandered off then, because they opened up the music venue for some concert of a never-heard-of, $40-ticket band. Hick said all the people waiting were milling around on that side of the casino, drinking, waiting to be let in. I guess maybe they should have picked a designated ticket-watcher.

But she’s not the real weirdo! Another lady came over to Hick, and stuck a ring under his nose. A man’s ring. He couldn’t describe it. Just said a heavy ring that you could tell was a man’s. The lady said it was worth a lot, and what would he give her for it. Hick said, “Nothing. I don’t want that ring.” Riverwinds is really a nice casino, but they seem to have some riff-raffy kind of people there, especially on weekends.

I was playing my Dreams of Egypt slot on Friday night when my weirdo magnet got activated. I hit a jackpot here, which paid me a progressive bonus worth $76.87. I had NO MONEY in the slot at that time. I'd just hit the SAVER feature, which will give you another spin if you don't have enough to pay for a minimum bet. It's a dial that shows your chances. You can risk your change on a spin, rather than cashing out a ticket worth a few cents.

A guy three machines to my left was pounding on his slot. Not like he was mad. Like when people tap certain parts, like to make a bonus symbol land there. He wasn’t just pounding. He was beating the bejeebers out of that thing! It was actually making me nervous. Not because he was an angry pounder. He just seemed WAY overenthusiastic. I thought he was going to break it. And it was drawing unwanted attention to my area. People who could see me through the cracks over to the next row kept staring, thinking it was ME! His slot was so tall that they couldn’t see him. I could hear the plastic rattle when he hit it. Like the front cover might be coming off.

Finally, that Beater got up and left. Immediately, there was a housekeeping person there, with a little trash cart for dumping ash trays and picking up cups. They’re all over the place, so I didn’t think anything about it. Then another housekeeping guy came up. Then a lady who seemed pretty official, talking on a radio about the number of the machine. THEN a couple of security guys. I don’t know if someone told on the Beater, or if the housekeepers radioed it in, or if security had been watching him on camera. Anyhoo…a few minutes later, there was an announcement for some man’s name to go to the northeast entrance. I bet they found out his name from his player’s card, and were planning to toss him out on his ear. At least that’s what I hope happened. Otherwise, it was a waste of a good employee-gathering by that slot.

At least there were no coughers or smokers near me this trip.

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner (With a Bonus Plate of Corn)

You may recall that Val was the lucky dinner-winner of an unasked-for schooner of corn last week on her Oklahoma visit with The Pony. Corn wasn't the only thing she was lucky with. This casino trip was a WINNING occasion for Val! In fact, the trip was quite profitable. I returned with a profit of over five times the amount of my winning scratcher ticket!

We spent a couple hours in Riverwinds Casino after picking up The Pony for supper on the first night. Saturday, we spent a couple more hours at a casino out of town, before the Goodwilling and lunch. Then we went back to Norman, to Riverwinds, for a little while before supper. I couldn't lose in either of them! Okay. The first night, I DID leave $35 down.

Which is not a big deal to my bankroll, since really it was only $15, because I gave The Pony a twenty. I owed The Pony $15 for a winning scratcher I'd sent him for Valentine's Day. He can't cash them in out in Oklahoma, so I buy back the winners and cash them in here. The first slots we played were The Flintstones. There are two together, and The Pony likes them. I gave him first choice. He came up a loser, but I cashed out $73 from the twenty I'd put in. I had intended to pay The Pony sometime with a $15 ticket cashed out of a slot. But since we were parting ways, I handed him a twenty from my bankroll. Since I could afford to be generous. So that counts as part of the money I was down that first evening.

Anyhoo...I had almost my entire casino bankroll to play on again the next day. Not just the segment I had allotted myself for each session. So I did a little high-rolling. Not by regular gambler standards, but for Hick and my sister the ex-mayor's wife's standards.

This is my new favorite game, but I've only seen it at the Grand Casino, near Shawnee, Oklahoma, where we went Saturday afternoon. I'd been alternating my bets from .60/1.20/1.80, and hit a bonus at the higher bet. It paid me $144.15, when I was only a few dollars down on my original twenty. Not saying I'd only had a few spins. You win some back, bet some more, win some back, etc. Cleopatra had been paying me back, keeping me pretty even, which is why I was fooling around with the betting amount.

Here's the same slot, which I captured in the middle of paying off my bonus. It expands to three screens! This was a $68.85 win on a $1.20 bet. Let the record show that when I get a bonus that pays like these, I cash out that amount, and insert a fresh twenty. So I DON'T BET IT ALL BACK! I still have that fortune in my gambling purse, to cash out as we leave. Hick bets smaller amounts, but he keeps playing until he gets down to nothing.

My new best friend Cleopatra again! She was going through the coin shower paying another bonus. I was afraid I'd miss the final screen, so I caught this summary of my $140.00 win down here in the corner. I don't remember the amount of my bet this time. That red square is just saying the minimum bet on the slot is .60, not necessarily that I was betting that amount.

Anyhoo...I only played a couple other slots at this casino, which were not nearly as generous as Cleo. So I returned to her, and spent the majority of my time there. Nobody caught me taking pictures, either!

Back at Riverwind in Norman on Saturday evening, I tried out some red screen Class II slots. All the slots in the Oklahoma Indian casinos are bingo-based, but the red screens will go crazy sometimes with a win, and give you replays, each more profitable than the previous one.

This was Hot Red Ruby II, a five-line slot. It's a quarter machine, but playing the five lines means it's $1.25 a spin. I didn't even win this on red screens. It was an actual line hit across the top and bottom lines. That's 336 quarters that it paid me. Or $84. I cashed out that ticket immediately!

I had some smaller wins that I cashed out, but didn't warrant risking my Public Enemy status for a photo. One of them was on Spartacus, which is kind of a weird slot I might try to get a picture of another time. I also played something with little devils and pitchforks that The Pony showed me. I don't think I played a BUFFALO game the whole trip! Maybe that's why I came out ahead this time...

I'm sure this is boring if you don't go to casinos. Just sharing my vice with you. Like giving you a virtual sip of my daily 44 oz Diet Coke.

Tomorrow...the casino weirdo tales!

Val Made New Finds, But That Didn't Stop 'Er, One Was Silver, the Other COPPER

You may recall that last week, Val found not a single penny. Her coffers overflowed with nickels and dimes. All silver. THIS week marked the return of the penny. Yes. I know that pennies are now made mostly of zinc, with a thin copper coating. No need to enlighten me.

SUNDAY, February 23, Hick and I stopped at the Steelville Casey's for gas, beverages, and scratchers. While standing in line waiting for Hick to pay, I was pleased to see a PENNY where no interloper would dare snatch it from me.

I unceremoniously said, "MOOOOVE!" like SNL's Your Company's Computer Guy, elbowed Hick out of the way, and stepped in for a closeup.

It was a shiny, heads-up 2019. Meant just for me! It hadn't been there when I first entered, and cashed out my winning scratchers.
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MONDAY, February 24, I opened T-Hoe's door at the Gas Station Chicken Store, and saw a welcome sight for a dreary day.

How convenient that a penny had been dropped in that fairly remote area of the lot, where I routinely park T-Hoe by the moat, away from other cars. Obviously, it was meant specifically for ME!

It was a face-down 2009, wet from the early morning rain that almost flooded the creek.
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My luck continued on THURSDAY, February 27, at Orb K.

I was actually looking in that rack where I found last week's dime, when I noticed the penny. Thank goodness the gal scurrying to the other register didn't see it and stop! Because it was MINE!

This was a heads-up 1983, among the unswept crumbs of Orb K's concrete floor.
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FRIDAY, February 28, I hit the double jackpot at the School-Turn Casey's. It might be hard for your untrained eye to spot my treasure.

See the notch in T-Hoe's door, just under the armrest? Follow that out past the little grease spot at about the ten o'clock position, and you'll see the penny. Don't be fooled by the cigarette butt!

Just after taking the closeup of this heads-up 2000 penny, I spied my double luck!

It was off to the left, at the end of that crack. It's actually visible in the first photo here. I would have gone crazy if I noticed it when blowing up the picture, and realized I had left one behind!

This was a face-down 1989. When I came out of the store, a car was parked in that spot. I'd have missed both cents, were it not for my precise timing. I was obviously meant to have them!
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That's 5 cents towards my Future Pennyillionaire Fortune this week!
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2020 RUNNING TOTAL
 
Penny      # 15, 16, 17, 18, 19.
Dime        still at 3.
Nickle      still at 3.
Quarter  0

2019 TOTALS
Penny     134
Dime        20
Nickel        8
Quarter      5
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