Genius Is an Anti-Mintite

Wednesday night, we had a phone call from Genius. That's rare. His time is so much more valuable than our love. Every now and then, he'll call from his car on his drive home from work in Kansas to his apartment in Missouri. Hands-free, of course! Genius is like Hick. He has that special power that lets him see the very worst moment to call. This night, I was elbow-deep in boiling water, making Hick's supper of spaghetti. Figuratively, not literally.

When the phone rang, everything stopped. That's because we've been getting an extraordinary amount of scammer calls this week on our landline, 16 or more per day. We don't answer a number we don't know. If it's important, they'll leave a message. If it's really important, they should know our cell phone numbers. Anyhoo... we let it ring twice, silencing the TV and conversation, listening to see who the phone announces is calling. To decide if we want to pick up. Hick went one better, and stood in front of the phone, waiting. When he saw it was Genius, he answered.

Let the record show that Hick rarely gets to talk to Genius, since I'm usually the one who answers, and Genius does not request to speak with Hick. If I suggest it, he will, if Hick is available. So Hick was pleased to speak with his third son, if somewhat at a loss of what to talk about.

"Your mom is in the kitchen making spaghetti..."

Hick chatted until I got the noodles off and plated his supper. Then I took over. I was sitting on the short couch, mere minutes into the conversation, when Genius demanded,

"What are you chomping on? Are you eating something? It's driving me crazy, coming over my car speakers."

"Okay, okay! I'll take it out! [heh, heh, not in the Seinfeld take it out way, that's impossible] It's just a mint. Wint O Green. I have some every night. They're my before-dinner mints. These are really good, too, because they get all crumbly. Not like sometimes when all of them in the bag are as hard as plastic and don't dissolve. There! I'm holding it in my hand while we talk."

"I just called because I haven't in a while. What are you doing? Besides making spaghetti."

"Well, I'm going to make some tuna salad in a little while. You know I don't like spaghetti. Then I'm going to check out my conspiracy sites to see what's going on with this YouTube thing today."

"Yeah! They're shutting down a bunch of people."

"I know! It's not fair."

"Why not?"

"It's censorship!"

"No it isn't."

"Yes. It is. They are only shutting down people they disagree with."

"You are ridiculous! They're shutting down the hate sites and the crazy people."

"Says who? Why can't people read them and decide for themselves?"

"Why should YouTube use their resources to support a channel of fake stuff? That's free market! It's their business. They can eliminate people they don't want!"

"What about a bakery? Can it decide it won't bake a cake for a cause it doesn't believe in?"

"That's different!"

"It is not!"

"Like, a bakery can't decide not to bake a cake for a different race, because they're a protected class."

"You're saying crazy people aren't a protected class? How fair is THAT? So other people's lives are more valuable than crazy people's lives?"

"Why should YouTube use their resources to support a channel of fake stuff?"

"Because they still make money. They demonetize people, but still run an ad, and THEY take the revenue."

"No they don't."

"They're only eliminating people they don't share a political slant with."

"No they're not. That's been proven."

"They ARE! And that's CENSORSHIP! What are they afraid of? Why can't people make their own decisions?"

"Because it's FAKE!"

"I don't believe the earth is flat. But I don't see why people can't have a channel giving their opinion of it, just because it's FAKE. Let them make their argument. It's not hurting me. I don't have to watch it. Back-creek neighbor Bev believes that electronic mites are burrowing into her skin. She sleeps in a Farraday cage, or something like it. Your dad just replaced her giant magnets the other day. I don't think that's what's wrong with her, but I support her right to look up all the information she can about her condition on YouTube. It's not hurting me."

"That's just CRAZY!"

"How does it affect YOU? It doesn't. She should be able to look at all sides of it, and make that decision for herself. Anything else is CENSORSHIP!"

"You are ridiculous!"

"That's what Grandma thought when I told her the government was listening to our phone calls. Then look who turned out to be RIGHT! Grandma even admittted it to me after that. 'You were right, honey.' So when you find out years later, after I'm dead, that ANY part of what I've been telling you is right... I want you to fly to my grave, wherever I'm buried, and stand at the foot of it, and say, 'Mom, you were right.'"

"Oh, come on! EVERYBODY has always known that the government was listening to our phone calls."

"Maybe in YOUR lifetime, sonny!"

"No. Really. They've been listening in since Alexander Graham Bell invented the first phone!"

Sometimes, I think Genius likes to argue, just for the sake of argument. I can't believe I raised such an intolerant child!