I Feel Like a Defense Attorney Betrayed By Her Client

I feel like a defense attorney who has been betrayed by her client! Last week, we had a big cardboard pizza box from Save A Lot that I told Hick to take up to the trash on his way to town the next morning. Our trash goes out on Wednesdays now, since we dumped the overcharging (for 20 years) trash company for the new trash company. Anyhoo… when I backed T-Hoe out of the garage, I saw torn-up chunks of pizza box in the driveway behind the carport. I asked Hick why he gave the pizza box to the dogs. I knew they couldn’t get it out of the dumpster, which was already by the road.

“I didn’t give them the pizza box! I guess they got it out of the Gator.” (Which means I guess Hick forgot to take it up to the dumpster.) “Juno must have got it.”

“Why do you always blame Juno? You’d try to blame Jack, but he can’t get into the Gator. Just like he couldn’t climb up on the back of your Oldsmobile and take a crap!”

“Yeah, for sure Jack didn’t get it out. But I bet he chewed it up!”

“Well, yeah! We know he’s a chewer. I’m sure Copper Jack [neighbor dog] is the one who got it out. I can’t imagine Juno expending all that energy to get a pizza box.”

“I’m sure she was right in there chewing it with them other two!”

“I don’t think so. She hates Copper Jack. He makes her nervous. She barks at him, then runs into her house. You always want to blame her. Like before we caught (Poor Dumb) Ann (the black german shepherd) stealing the eggs.” [To be fair, Juno's glossy coat did nothing to sway Hick towards her possible innocence.]

When I came back from town, I parked and petted Jack and went to get a picture of the destruction.

Then in the background, I saw Copper Jack laying under the big tree by the driveway, with HALF OF THE PIZZA BOX BESIDE HIM! Aha! I KNEW it was him! I couldn’t wait to tell Hick when he got home.

I took my magical elixir in the house, and gave the dogs some grease bread and chicken bones for a treat. As I was reaching Juno’s share into her house, I saw A TWISTED CHUNK OF PIZZA BOX!

I took a picture for evidence, and Juno had the good sense to look guilty.Yes, she's a hoarder.

I really hated to tell Hick. Of course he said, “I TOLD you so!” I wish I’d just destroyed the evidence.