Val's Weirdo Magnet is still fully functional. Which I discovered while sitting on the toilet in the women's restroom of Downstream Casino. When we last convened, I was fighting off unconsciousness from an ankle injury incurred by not picking up my old lady feet when I walked in there. As I sat, breathing in and out, not unlike a laboring first-time about-to-be mother... I sensed a person walk by the door and enter the stall on my right. Not a big deal, but out of all those stalls, why she chose that one, in the middle of the long aisle, which was not special or handicap, was beyooond me. I couldn't dwell on it, though. I had to fight off the waves of pain-nausea.
Imagine my surprise when Bathroom Buddy spoke.
"Is this yours?"
To my horror, I looked down at the tile floor below our partition, and saw a foot in a white leather sneaker pushing a PILL into my stall space. WHAT IN THE FREAKIN' NOT-HEAVEN???
"Um. Are you talking to ME?"
"Yes. Is this your pill?"
"No. That's not mine."
"Well, it's not mine."
"I didn't drop a pill."
"I didn't either."
"All I have are Tylenol in my pocket. They don't look like that. That's a rectangle." [Actually, I had an acetaminophen and an ibuprofen and an Equate brand Pepcid. But I wasn't sharing the contents of my pocket pharmaceuticals with some toilet stranger kicking a rectangular white pill at my feet.]
"Well, all I have is a [forgot the name of the drug she said, but it made me think of arthritis] that my doctor gives me. Just for emergencies."
"That's not mine. No."
"Where did it come from, then? I guess it could have been laying on the toilet paper holder when I sat down."
"I don't know. Not mine."
What does a Val have to do to get a little alone time to heal her debilitating ankle injury in a casino bathroom stall? I hoisted myself up and hobbled to the sink, putting as much distance between me and that weirdo as fast as my stove-up ankle would allow.
Seriously. Did she expect me to pick up that pill OFF THE FLOOR OF A PUBLIC RESTROOM? I don't care if it was it was oxycontin and I was a lifelong addict in the throes of withdrawal WITH a broken ankle! No way was I picking up that pill and putting it in my mouth. Well... maybe if I was an addict and I rinsed off the outer layer in the sink... But seriously. WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?
At least she seemed to be a benevolent weirdo, who would have spared a square of toilet paper if I'd needed one.
Hmmm, toilet humor. I wouldn't have thought it of you, Val.
ReplyDeleteIf THIS surprised you, you'd better have a defibrillator ready if you dare to read what's coming up Sunday.
DeleteThat is a weirdo! There is an unwritten men's room rule that says if standing and peeing next to anyone, especially a stranger, do not say a thing and look straight ahead...Occasionally someone will look straight ahead and say, "Damn the water is cold." The response is, "Yes, and deep." Otherwise, no talking! Hick knows.
ReplyDeleteUnless Hick is that weirdo! He's very talkative elsewhere. I can't speak for his men's room behavior.
DeleteWhy would she assume it was yours? Like you are the only person to use a public restroom? Then when you say no, she continues to interrogate you. That is so weird!
ReplyDeleteYeah! It was in HER stall, not mine.
DeleteThat's definitely an encounter of the odd kind. But now you've got me wondering about addicts. WOULD one pick up a pill off a toilet floor and take it? you've heard in the past of heroin addicts sharing dirty needles, so who knows?
ReplyDeleteAfter watching that Intervention show, nothing would surprise me.
DeleteA pill on a bathroom floor. Might have been a Tic Tac.
ReplyDeleteShould have said, "Nah, you can have it."
That pill was about 3 times the size of a Tic Tac. With square corners. If only I could have thought to tell her to help herself the the pill she found. The pain made me foggy-headed.
DeleteAdventures in Women Restrooms...That could be the title of a book.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid that would be in the horror genre.
Delete