Friday, June 29, 2018

Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday #106 "The Tallest Diving Board in the World"

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday again. I have 150 words to convince you to fake-buy my fake book. This week's fake book is a true story of perseverance. A tale of a youngster who overcame the odds, just by being born, and is fighting to overcome even more. Pool your fake money, and start a fake-book club. Order Val's latest fake book now, and use it as a springboard for discussion.

The Tallest Diving Board in the World

Girlypoo is the last of 15 children, the only girl. Though her brothers have always been protective, Girlypoo (as they call her) is having none of it! She is determined to make a name for herself, and not just be know as finally, a girl.

For her birthday, Girlypoo asked for a trip to The Tallest Diving Board in the World. She's always had a bit of a fear of heights, maybe from all those brothers tossing her in the air in infancy. She'll show THEM!

Will Girlypoo earn new respect from her brothers, and with it, a new nickname? (100 words)


Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book

A Kite..."Thevictorian must have been higher than me when she fake-wrote this fake book. She needs a knot jerked in her tail forthwith, to slow down her fake career."

Other Noses, on Other People..."Oh, how we wish people would pinch us closed. Not to prevent water from entering us upon completion of a dive, but because we cannot bear the stench of Thevictorian's fake writing. Limburger could throw a party and host a skunk, a teenage boy's sweat socks, an over-the-road truck driver's crack, a chicken coop, a hog farm, and have a blooming corpse flower as the guest of honor...and STILL the atmosphere would be more pleasant."

Diving Board..."Let's hope that Thevictorian does not use this fake book as a springboard for further fake efforts in the fake publishing world. Her writing is stiff at best, and deserves no platform. Let's make this fake book her swan song, as it reveals itself to be a flop."

Lifeguard..."I fear that I may lose my certification, since I am unable to save the public from from going down for the 106th time, struggling and gasping, at the horror that is one of Thevictorian's fake books."

Treetops..."While this young girl has ascended to such heights with her determination and bravery, to soar like an eagle...Thevictorian remains on the ground, a bloated, soon-to-be extinct dodo, unwilling to rise to the literary occasion."

Depths of Despair..."Don't I know it, Treetops! I've had to undergo a complete renovation, to make room for all the folks who are trying to fake-read this latest fake effort from Thevictorian, and are falling into me all willy-nilly, 24/7/365."

Underbelly of a Snake..."I daresay that my expectations for Thevictorian's next fake book are lower ME!"

High Jump Apparatus..."Yes, Thevictorian sets the bar so low that a common slug, drunk from the plate of beer set out to do it in, could out-fake-write her if he took the proper approach."

Bottom of THE Barrel..."I was scraped by people looking for Thevictorian's previous fake works, but had to tell folks to search a little lower. Her fake writing does not get better with age, and it's best to stave off the fake-readers' hopes as early as possible. Thevictorian fails to rivet the fake-readers' attention. The bunghole holding back her fake talent should remain forever stoppered."

A Diamond Mine in South Africa..."I am deep enough to house Thevictorian's fake library, but we don't have anything like her fake books here. They're not exactly gems, you know."

Lover's Leap..."I just LOVE the bravery of this little gal in the fake story. I do not, however, love the fake writing of Thevictorian. Can't even say that I like it. Cannot fake a middling toleration. She sucks. If a natural landmark was named for Thevictorian, it would be called Sucker's Leap."


  1. Judging by the reviews, your fake-book-writing credibility will soon be so low, you'll need a post-hole digger to retrieve it.

    1. Heh, heh! A bad review is better than NO review!

  2. Depths of despair talking tot he treetops. LOL

    1. It seems that my fake reviewers are in cahoots!