Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Beer and Bro-Things in Backroadsia

Let us now pull back the curtain to reveal the second installment in Val's continuing series on "Beer and Bro-Things in Baskroadsia."

This is the front of Hick's fine creekside cabin establishment. The main part is on the right. The original cabin. That wasn't enough for Hick. Once a project is finished, it's time to look for a new project. So he decided that he needed to add a bedroom to his sitting room with loft.

Let's direct our attention first to the cabin proper. Notice the twin ceramic rooster-heads on each side of the door? Uh huh. Class act, our Hick. And above the door, probably too tiny for you to read, are three little words: Wild Wild West. Of course he has that metal thermometer to the left of the door, to tell him if it's cold enough to snow. And who wouldn't want to grab a Coke and a smile before sittin' a spell to chew the fat with Hick? That lovely filigree of icicles on the roof line was just a happy accident.

The bedroom addition may look like it has a shiny glassed aluminum screen door, but that's actually a window. I'm sure you could use it for ingress and egress if you so desired. The actual door, according to The Pony, is on the left. The part that looks like the bars in Otis's cell. I can't explain the reason for the milk cans. Nor the washtub.

Don't even ask why the wood stands alone nowhere near the woodshed.

I'm thinking I might just open a bed-and-breakfast for those folks who come from far away to purchase their handbaskets. I even have a wonderful rib-stickin' goody to put on my menu. We had it tonight with some fish. Not that my B&B guests will get fish. They might expect some highfalutin dish like Bourbon-Glazed Salmon or Creole Red Snapper or Mahi Mahi with Onion, Capers, and Lemon...rather than the minced breaded frozen love minnow resulting from the clandestine union of Mrs. Paul and that bearded yellow-slicker-wearing Gorton man.

No, my secret recipe is not for fish. It's for the side dish. I call it Cheesed Broccocaulipeppot. Doesn't that sound tasty? Doesn't it? Here's how you make it. Toss a small potato in the microwave for baking. Take a glass bowl suitable for microwaving, and put in cut-up broccoli and cauliflower. Cover it with plastic wrap and nuke it for several minutes until tender. In the meantime, cut up some pasteurized processed cheese spread. Like Velveeta, or the better Save A Lot brand, Marvella. By now your potato and broccoli/cauliflower will be done. Take out the bowl and lift the plastic wrap and put the cheese on top. Slice the potato in half, and lay it unpeeled sides down on top of your cheesy veggie bowl. Cube that potato while it's laying on top. Add some sweet banana pepper rings. Stir it all together...and VOILA! Cheesed Broccocaulipeppot!

I know your mouth is watering and you have no time left to read.

Bon appetite!


  1. Hick's cabin is too cool for school! He has a great eye! Love the Coke fridge!!

  2. I think you're well on your way to beginning a booming B & B business.

  3. Babe, head for the city. There are some funky restaurants around here that would hire you as their cook.

  4. Let us know when your booking schedule is finalized so we can make reservations at Hotel Hick.

  5. You can tell any guest of Backroads B&B that whatever is your catch of the day is Bourbon-Glazed Catfish and they'll scarf it right up and beg for more. Even if it's suckers or chubs. What does any slicker know about good fish.

    RE: The arm extender for reading of cell phones by not-so-young eyes----you could also use it for taking photos of yourself. Maybe you could call it a selfie stick and sell it to kids as well! HEY!

  6. I love the cabin and all its stuff. Seriously. No joke. But the dish you're talking about, not so much :-), although who knows, it could be quite tasty!

  7. joeh,
    Oh, don't bring up school! I've heard him talk about building a one-room schoolhouse.

    I will put a note on your B&B reservation that you might want a double helping of Cheesed Broccocaulipeppot.

    Yes, Val is quite the entrepreneur. And she could charm a teacher's head right out from between the faucet and sink of the faculty women's restroom.

    Why work for someone else when I can parlay my Cheesed Broccocaulipeppot into a show on The Food Network?

    Right now I can pencil you in on a yellow mini stick-it note. Let's try February 16, 2015. That should bring maximum snowage for your visit.

    Good advice on my fish dish! As far as the arm extender/selfie stick...don't go on a buying spree just yet with your proposed cut of the action. I'm thinking I'll pay you in selfie sticks.

    WooHoo! More Cheesed Broccocaulipeppot for me! Could I interest you in some Bourbon-Glazed...um...Catfish?