Sometimes I wish I was Julia Sugarbaker. Not only would I be rolling in old money, and have a healthy superiority complex thanks to my sister Suzanne, but I would also be quite comfortable espousing my opinion on any subject under the sun.
I am going to wear Julia's hat tonight. Not so much her hat as her pearls. A strand of pearls which I refuse to ever-so-slightly suck on, just to make the photographer from the Women of Atlanta pictorial essay happy. In the spirit of Julia's bashing of Ray Don Simpson, I present...
I Want to Thank You, Rae Donna...
You're the gal who darts in front of us at the copy machine on our planning period. You want to run 100 double-sided copies of a 16-page document, stapled. You expect us to monitor your job while you dash back to your classroom. You expect us to clear jams when the machine stops. You'd like us to put in paper if it runs out. And I want to thank you, Rae Donna, on behalf of all the harried teachers in the world, for your absentminded actions and total lack of copier etiquette. But read my lips and remember, as hard as it is to believe, sometimes, we like running copies without your papers left in the drawer making double exposures on ours, and sometimes we just like stopping the job you have abandoned.
There. I feel better.
Um, I thought you were the Julia Sugarbaker of Missouri!
ReplyDeleteJulia...I mean Val--
ReplyDeleteIs Rae Donna young and cute? (Those youthful perky ones think everything is their right, you understand...)
And, Rae Donna: Perhaps you DON'T need to copy everything you need for the entire month right now. Perhaps you can save some of the fun for later on.
And Rae Donna--If you are an aide, with time to twiddle your thumbs and sit on your butt and read a book on school time while the rest of us had to read it at home, on our own time, and if you have the time to clip your toe nails--all 10 of them--in the teacher's lounge, perhaps you can relinquish the copy machine for a moment during our plan time, since we only 45 minutes left to pee and mark kids' calendars and grade papers and put together bags of manipulatives and you have all day to do the copying you need to do.
How about it, Rae Donna?
That big red stop button is as pretty as the Easy button.
ReplyDeleteNow that you've got that off your chest, I hope you feel better.
ReplyDeleteAll's fair in love and the copy room. You leave it running, it jams, I fix it. MY turn. Like a load of wet laundry at the laundrymat...I have the right to remove it.
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteShh...I'm anonymous, by cracky!
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Sioux,
I am grousing about the collective Rae Donna. Sometimes, she's young and cute. Then she's old and gnarly. Like a Sour Patch Kid. I KNOW who has been stopping the Y&C Rae Donna's copies. It's not me. But I'll never tell. The O&G Rae Donna is the one to watch for copying a whole year's worth in one week. Did you know that the collective Rae Donna also includes those of the male persuasion? It's true!
I hope the peeing and marking kids' calendars are two separate tasks.
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Joanne,
It shines like a beacon, beckoning me.
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Stephen,
I daresay my mood ring is the same hue as your own, post-calling-out the expiration-daters in favor of the milk-sniffers.
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Linda,
Perhaps, in your spare time, you can swing a gig at The Learning Annex, presenting a symposium on "Possession: Ten-Tenths of the Copy Room Law."