Mr. Haier was a longtime companion of Val o'er the last decade. He spent every day in the classroom, silently observing, never intruding, at times shouldering a heavy load, He was the first one Val greeted each morning. She regularly touched bases with him at lunch time.
The students were sometimes envious of the close relationship Mr. Haier shared with Val. On occasion, they tried to come between the two. Or attempted to insert themselves into Mr. Haier's good graces. Val was having none of that. Nobody comes between Val and her Mr. Haier.
Each summer, high-level talks occurred concerning the feasibility of allowing Mr. Haier to stay on. "Too expensive," some believed. "Not justifiable," said others. But the matter was always tabled, no decision made to upset the status quo. It helped that other faculty members had their own Mr. Haier-like companions. Rocking the boat would have caused sure mutiny in the county.
Yes, Monday was indeed a sad day. Val herself discovered the remains of Mr. Haier that morning. Already in the classroom. Sitting in the dark, in his regular place beside the file cabinet. The place where he liked to observe his kingdom, just chillin'.
Val heard Mr. Haier's last gurgles. She went to him immediately, and detected a fever and flop sweat. She shook him. He did not respond. He was burning up. Due to the high fever, Val immediately disconnected Mr. Haier from life support. She cleared out all of his passageways. And immediately began a search for her new Mr. Haier.
As luck would have it, a strapping young replacement was found online by the end of second hour. Val's husband, Hick, purchased the newbie on his way home from work. Val and The Pony carted him in Tuesday morn.
RIP, Mr. Haier. Your great grandson will do you proud.
Wow! I've never seen or heard of a teacher having their very own fridge-a-frator in their classroom. You rock! (and so does your school!)
ReplyDeleteWhat a clever and amusing idea to make a character out of your mini fridge. I almost teared up...almost.
ReplyDeleteSo SAD! But you didn't even let him cool before you replaced him with one much younger and more handsome. Fickle I say, maybe even heartless. Bah!
ReplyDeleteI hope my little brown boy will not kill himself in order to show solidarity with your Mr. Haier. He really cannot be called a "boy"--he is way past an age that could be called youthful--but he is so loyal, and embraces my yogurt and bowls of left-over soup like they are his own.
ReplyDeleteI will wear a black armband today--with a smear of mayo on it--to honor your fallen.
My condolences...
The best perk I had in my last job was an ice machine. As soon as I got to work I would grab my 6-pak cooler that I kept under my desk and hurry to the ice maker. I would fill it up, grab the elevator and return to my work area in order to put my lunch on top of the ice in my little cooler. I kept a 2 liter bottle of soda around and could use the ice to have a cold drink during the day without having to go out and pay an arm and a leg for just a drink (and interrupt my work). I think a greater perk would be individual microwaves the size of a soup bowl or sandwich. It could fit in a space smaller than a corporate phone with all those five or six push buttons to switch you to another department. Just sayin' ... why hasn't this been done?
ReplyDeleteWhere's Genius when we need him?
Becky,
ReplyDeleteLet's modify that: I ROCK. My school does not furnish the mini-fridge, but tolerates the plugged-in-ness of it. So they don't exactly rock, but they hum a tasteful, easy-listening song.
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Stephen,
Mr. Haier was a character in his own right. All day long, he rumbled and mumbled, like a pointy-white-bearded geezer with indigestion after a 4:00 trip to the all-you-can-eat buffet.
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Leenie,
While I do have a heart, it is best described as hatefully beating at a temperature of -273.15 degrees Celsius. That's 0 Kelvin. No degrees. You're welcome for the free science lesson. I know that's why people drop in. And I'm all about giving.
I did not let Mr. Haier grow cold. When he's gone, he's gone. He didn't know he was being replaced. In fact, I found a home for the departed Mr. Haier with a former student. One who dabbles in re-animation. Who knows...with the proper libation, Mr. Haier might rejoin the living.
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Sioux,
You're a real stand-up kind of gal. Mr. Haier and I both salute you. Well. I salute you. Mr. Haier on his best day was not very good at saluting. But he could pinch your hip-fat like a demon.
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knancy,
That is THE MOST SCATHINGLY BRILLIANT IDEA! I'll put future electrical engineer Genius on the case. I'm surprised he hasn't already whipped one up out of Big Mac boxes and laser pointers.