When I called Hick to the kitchen Sunday night, to make his bad chicken sausage patty sandwiches... he had a choice of using hamburger buns, like I did, or steak rolls, as The Pony preferred.
"Mom. These expire today. So I'm going to use them for my chicken sandwiches."
The Pony likes bread. A lot. So he'd rather have his four thin chicken sausage patties on two long steak rolls, rather than stacked on two hamburger buns. Hick is also a bread aficionado. I was not surprised by his selection.
While Hick often has SELECTIVE hearing, he'd heard every word of our conversation about the USE-BY date on the steak rolls. Even with his TV cranked up to twice the level I use, and sitting around the corner in the living room.
I turned from the counter to see Hick with his nose millimeters from the two open steak rolls on his plate.
"What are you doing?"
"I can smell the mold."
"No you can't. There's not any mold. The date is TODAY. Those rolls are fine."
"Yes. I've always been able to smell the mold."
"You'd never know if you hadn't heard us talking about the date on the bag."
"Well. Now that I know, I can smell it. I can't eat these. I'll have hamburger buns."
"Let's not forget you're the guy who ate hot dogs that had been in an open pack in the back of the refrigerator for six weeks. And that I've caught you more than a dozen times, eating the expired bread I've set out for the dogs."
No comment on that. I bet I could put fresh buns in an expired bag, and Hick would be able to smell the mold. Hick fancies himself as a nasal version of the princess, with bread for peas.
So now you must put a drop of green food coloringon the bread of his next sandwich. Tee hee.
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh! On the bottom slice, so when he lifts it for a SECOND bite, I can say, "WAIT! Is that MOLD I see on your bread?"
Delete99% of the time I CAN smell mould, but in bread it is quite hard to detect when there are other things like grains, seeds etc added. But in plain white bread even there I sometimes can't detect it until the spots are visible.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! You are JUST LIKE HICK! Heh, heh! Didn't mean to scare you. Just kidding.
DeleteI can smell mold, but then I look for it. Bread on the cusp of moldy smells to me. But, I don't depend on the date.
ReplyDeleteLooks like I am the oddball! Maybe you and River and Hick can form a mold-smelling club, and meet once a week to keep your skills sharp.
DeleteYou could form a business like Ghostbusters, and call yourselves Moldtesters. Hick could rebuild an old hearse for your company car. And probably come up with some tools of the trade. Maybe a nose-horn to help concentrate the smell to your schnozzes...
I have a sensitive olfactory system and can smell many things, including mold, but I usually depend on my eyes with bread. We have all probably eaten bread mold and don't even know it. Hick has probably digested a lot of it, like HeWho, he is open to suggestion. I bet they would be easy to hypnotize!
ReplyDeleteI will add you to the Moldtesters workforce!
Delete