Jingle Bell Time is a Swell Time, and...CRICKETS

Don't worry, you won't hear me singing! Here, now! Stop clamoring for it. I don't want to spoil you with yet another of my talents. The singing will stay in T-Hoe, where it belongs, to keep my mind off the terrible drivers I encounter each day. If only other people could drive as well as I...

Genius received his Halloween treat box. He won more on his scratchers than I spent on them, so that's a good deal. For him! It's not like I get a cut of the winnings. Anyhoo... he sent me a text after his Snickers spelling lesson. I'm sure you assume it was a heartfelt THANK YOU. But oh so surprisingly, it was NOT.

"I really liked that Christmas ticket with the variously-sized rows."

Well. He could only have been talking about the new Christmas $3 ticket, which is a different style than most of the scratchers. It's in the shape of a tree, and you scrape off the numbers to see if you can complete an entire row for the prize shown. I said I could send him THREE of those tickets instead of the weekly two $5 tickets. Heh, heh! And I'd be saving myself a dollar! Almost. Because the envelope would require extra postage.

Anyhoo... I bought Genius one of those tickets on Friday, and another one on Saturday. I was also buying one for myself on those days, too. They are fun to play, which I discovered when The Pony became obsessed with them for a few weeks. I don't like to buy consecutive tickets, so I went to two different stores for them. Once home, I'd set a ticket aside to go in Genius's letter at the end of the week, and keep the other one for me to scratch.

As luck (MINE) would have it, Saturday's ticket was a winner. I had bought myself a different ticket in the Gas Station Chicken Store (future loser), along with a $3 ticket I intended for Genius. Then I went across the street to the liquor store, where I bought MY $3 ticket, and a $5 ticket (loser) for The Pony. 

You scratch off the top numbers one at a time, and if it's on the tree, you scrape off the color to turn the circle white. Then you can tell which numbers you have. If you complete a whole row, you win the prize at the end. It might be multiplied by the multiplier in the box. My multiplier was 1. That's dirty pool! I don't call that multiplying!

Anyhoo... I WON $113 ON THIS $3 TICKET!

I feel bad for Genius, but this ticket was never intended for him. He might even get a better winner, heh, heh!

While buying this ticket in the liquor store, I noticed a new display on the counter. "Huh," I thought. "I guess they DO sell bait, in case fishermen stop by for some beer."

Well! Those crickets are BAIT, all right. Bait for PEOPLE! People who can be reeled in to pay money to eat crickets as a snack! See? It's right there on the box. SEASONED SNAX! They're a little too big for my tastes! I might try a tiny, less meaty, version if somebody else bought it, and offered me one to try, IF I was also too drunk to care that I was eating a CRICKET!

Never a dull day in Val's convenience store adventures...