Remember that old movie, Death Becomes Her? I never watched it myself, but I remember it was right after my dad got a giant satellite dish installed in the yard, and my mom liked to watch this movie. My dad could never remember the title, and when he'd mention it, he said, "You know. That movie your mom likes. She Looks Good Dead."
Actually, today's story has nothing to do with that movie, other than my theft of the title.
Wednesday night, I had a vice-like headache. It started when I left for town, and got worse through the day. I'm sure it's a sinus issue. The area over my eyes hurt to touch, and I was stuffy and phlegmy and could feel the shift of the stuffiness to other areas when I laid down.
Anyhoo... around 10:00, as I was sitting in my dark basement lair, holding my vibrator (ON MY SINUSES), seeking relief from the headache... I heard a tremendous crash from above my head. I even shouted, "Everything okay?" No response. I heard the squeak of The Pony's bedroom door at the other end of the upstairs, and figured he was on the case. I heard Hick stomping around on his footless ankles, so I knew he hadn't turned over his recliner and knocked himself unconscious. I went back to aching and vibrating.
Around 2:00, I went out to my OPC (Old People Chair) to watch a recorded Cagney & Lacey. It comes on at 4:00 in the afternoon, on DISH 291, whatever channel that is. I didn't make it through the whole episode, because I fell asleep at 2:30, and didn't wake up until 5:45. That seat heater is magical.
I was hoping my headache was gone, but it returned as soon as I sat up from recline. I went upstairs to bed. Lots was going on the next day, but by evening, my headache was gone. As I sat on the short couch, listening to Hick while he ate soup for supper (the liquid, too!), I was shocked at what he revealed.
"I fell out of bed last night!"
"WHAT? At least The Pony came to check on you."
"No he didn't."
"Isn't that the noise I heard around 10:00? It was horrible! I thought you'd fallen, and was afraid you couldn't get up."
"Oh. I dropped my phone."
"Your phone made all that noise?"
"Yeah. And The Pony came out and went in the kitchen for ice."
"Well, when did you fall out of bed?"
"I don't know. It was sometime early in the morning."
"I didn't hear a thing. I was out in my OPC, sleeping. Good thing you didn't need any help."
"Yeah. I don't know how that happened. I think we need a new mattress. The edge slopes down."
I agree we could use a new mattress. But I doubt that's what made Hick fall out of bed. Sometimes, he seems to levitate! To jump straight up and fall back down. I don't know how he does that. It's like somebody with restless legs, only with a restless body.
I hate it when I can feel the phlegm moving to another area! I did fall out of my bed because the mattress had slipped a bit and I just landed on the floor. But, I don't levitate.
ReplyDeleteI hate it when the phlegm has moved, and I can breathe easily, but then I sit up, and I get a sudden spasm as the phlegm rushes to obey gravity!
DeleteGood to know that you don't levitate. Hick wants to blame the mattress, but it was in proper position when I went to bed. I think he just rolled over in a deep sleep. There's only a small section of the mattress that might have let him roll out. It's butt-sized, from where he sits up and slides out of bed.
Hick eating the liquid part of the soup is even more astonishing than him levitating himself out of bed, probably levitated upwards then rolled over and suddenly there was no mattress under him :)
ReplyDeleteThere's a reason for Hick eating the soupy part of the soup, but that tale is a couple days off.
DeleteI cannot figure out how he does that levitation thing. At first it was just with his legs. He'd lift one or the other, and slam it down on the mattress. Like he was a goose-stepping soldier marching, on his back.
I'm betting Hick dreamed he fell out of bed, and is cruising for a new mattress.
ReplyDeleteGood thing he didn't dream he was eating a delicious dinner roll, or I might have to buy a new pillow!
DeleteHeWho will make proclamations such as that in the morning. He swears he doesn't dream, but I think he does. He talks in his sleep, which would indicate a dream in progress. He also hogs space in the bed and if anyone fell out, it would be me!
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised there's ANY room for you in the bed, with the dogs also hogging some turf. You might have to build a little shelf on the side, and make a cushion like window seats use, so you can have your own annex to the bed!
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