Monday, April 22, 2024

Lottery Tales: The Long Strange Trip Home

As Hick was parking at the state lottery office on Wednesday, I suggested that he reset his phone for the trip home. Perhaps "suggested" is not quite the proper word. I told Hick at least four times that he should reset his phone's directions.

"I know how to get back."

Uh huh. Hick had taken me to the lottery office at least three times, but did not remember how to get there. So I'm supposed to believe he knows how to get home??? When we left, Hick took a left turn.

"I'm pretty sure you needed a right. That's how we came in."

"I know how to get home, Val. I always go this way."

Of course it was wrong. We went under the highway we needed to get onto. Hick even said,

"That's it up there. We're going under it. I should have turned earlier."

We drove into a residential neighborhood. Hick made a left turn, and used a driveway to turn around. But instead of re-programming his phone, he pulled out onto a major road. THEN he stopped. To put the info into his phone. 

"Why couldn't you have done this on the side street? Now we're in traffic."

"They can go around. It's two lanes, and we're by these cones that block off the right lane."

Anyhoo... the phone (which I read to Hick, not wanting his eyes off the road) told us how to get back to the highway. So sad. Hick might have made it home in time for his meat loaf lunch at the Senior Center, had he only reset his phone before we went in early to our lottery office appointment.

We got back on the major six-lane highway. Made our exit onto the three-lane highway that turns into two lanes. Then Hick had a bright idea.

"I think I'll get a car wash. This car is filthy." Said the man who drives so fast on our gravel road that mud splashes up onto the windows.

We have FREE car wash privileges at the dealer where we bought A-Cad. Back in 2015. All you have to do is get in line and drive through the automatic car wash. No money needed. Of course there were other people with the same idea. Including a white pickup truck with no dirt on it whatsoever. I think that guy must drive through the car wash every day on his lunch hour. 

There were four cars ahead of us. Hick said each wash took four minutes. But I guess he wasn't accounting for the time it took each one to sit in the air-blowing part before leaving. Thus delaying everyone behind them from pulling forward. We spent 30 MINUTES getting a FREE car wash.

That might not seem like much delay, unless you are an old lady who calculates your drive time by your pee schedule. I had plenty of time for a straight drive home. But the delay was an issue. Of course Hick didn't mind. Because once we got home, he jumped out of A-Cad to use nature as one big toilet (like Jeff Goldblum's character in The Big Chill), while I had to get my stiffened knees out of A-Cad after a 2-hour drive, and hobble into the house. I made it!

Hick needs to be less hard-headed when it comes to getting directions.


  1. I do understand the schedule. When we go somewhere, I have a place in each town that I favor for the pee stop.

    1. Yes. Everything is fine, until Hick alters the plan.

  2. I don't know how I'd find many of the unknown places in and around this city without Google maps. I use it a lot. I suppose Hick felt better about missing his meatloaf lunch by getting his "free" car wash. I mean, you had three wins... the two scratcher ticket wins and the "free" car wash win:)

    1. It's hard for Hick to pass up something that's FREE. Even if it costs 30 minutes.

  3. Replies
    1. That was painfully obvious on this trip. As we were headed out the door, he said, "You have directions, don't you?" Well, no. Because he's driven there several times before, and used to work in the city, and knows all the highways. So I said I'd have to turn on my computer and look up the address. Then Hick used his phone to Google it and the route. Somehow turning off the voice that "usually tells me where to go," so I had to read it to him as he drove.

      Of course he suddenly "remembered" how to come home, rather than typing in a two addresses when we left. I shudder to think that we'd still be there if he had to actually get out and ask a PERSON for directions, like in the olden days!

  4. I'm glad you made it without peeing your pants! I don't suppose it would make any difference if you'd told Hick to skip the car wash because you had to pee?

    1. That makes two of us! I DID tell Hick that I didn't want to take extra time, but he said, "We're right here. It will only take a minute." I didn't have to go right then, but I knew I had limited time. 15 minutes into the wait, I told him again, but he said there were only two vehicles ahead of us then.

  5. This why I insist on a motorhome, as opposed to a travel trailer. The travel trailer might have more room, but the motorhome has a bathroom at the ready should I need it!