Oh, the predicaments Hick gets himself into! Now he's lost an ear. Let the record show that Hick is no Van Gogh. Nor is he J. Paul Getty III. Or even Mr. Potato Head. And he would never allow his barber, even during one of his three-hour haircuts, to shave him with a straight razor like This Guy did while on heavy painkillers after back surgery. No, my Hick didn't lose just any ear overnight.
He lost an ear of corn left from our ill-fated Easter Feast.
Silly me. I had simply assumed that Hick ate all three ears of corn. The ones I'd put in the microwave, rolled in plastic wrap, and forgotten to turn on. I had told him, after all, that he could have all three, because I wasn't climbing 13 stairs and descending again just to get an ear of corn.
When I came upstairs around 4:00 a.m., I smelled the corn. It smelled pretty good, actually. I peeped inside FRIG II to see if maybe Hick had left me an ear. Not that I would have eaten it right then, mind you. But maybe for lunch the next day, which was technically THAT day. No ear in sight, though. The trash had been bagged. I guess the kitchen just held the aroma of corn.
That evening, I went upstairs to warm up leftovers. That darn Hick was sitting in his La-Z-Boy with a plate of hot dogs and beans and potato salad.
"Do you want me to warm up a pork steak and the beans?"
"No. I've got hot dogs. I already did it."
"You just came in! I was coming up to get supper ready. I can't believe you didn't wait!"
"That's okay. I like hot dogs. We can have the other tomorrow."
"Okay. There are two ears of corn left. I guess you ate the other three."
"No. I only ate two."
"Well... what happened to the third one? I didn't see it in the fridge."
"Oh. I forgot about it. It was in the microwave. I didn't find it till this morning. I threw it off the porch."
I guess I'm lucky I didn't find Hick's third ear in the cushions of the La-Z-Boy, like that banana peel a while back.
You might want to check the lazy-boy just to be sure.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I'm afraid to check it. I have post traumatic banana peel syndrome.
DeleteI hope he unwrapped it before throwing it out there. Back when I was working, after I left each morning, the kids would take their wrapped school lunch sandwiches and throw them way down to the back corner of the yard. When I eventually discovered this, I told them I didn't care so much about them not liking my sandwich choices, but they really should unwrap the sandwiches so at least the dog could eat them.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure he unwrapped it. We have all manner of critters to carry it away. Before our chickens were eaten by the neighbor dogs, they LOVED an ear of corn.
DeleteI was waiting for a sawz all story.
ReplyDeleteI know Hick has one, but I hope he keeps it away from his ears!
DeleteDepending on how often you use your microwave, that corn could have turned into a smelly situation!
ReplyDeleteYes, we don't use it often, and the window is kind of tinted!
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