Some People See the Chamber Pot as Half Full, While Hick Sees It as Half Empty

Maybe my nagging the voice of reason whispered in his ear at night, whooshing along with his breather, has talked some sense into Hick. The last two Goodwill trips resulted in only ONE ITEM each!

I might be getting my hopes up prematurely, but looking at this first one, I'm thinking we can get by right now with the shacks already in Shackytown! I thought Hick might be pranking me when he sent the first picture:

So neat. So sweet. So PETITE! Look how lonely it appears, sitting on that chair all by itself, unaware that a whole army of auction treasures and flea market finds and Goodwill goods await his induction. Hick says this is a miniature whisky barrel bank. There's a slot on the end for the coins. Huh. Must smell like whisky if he can tell that much about it. And I guess it's for those people who aren't big on saving. I daresay Katie Nolan with her tin can bank nailed to the closet floor by where that tree grew in Brooklyn had a better chance at buying out the Rockefellers than whoever came up with this miniature whisky barrel bank. I asked Hick if it does anything when you put a coin in. No. It set him back 50 cents, and came from our down-home Goodwill.

The next item up for bragging was this:

No, it is NOT a big coffee cup. According to Hick, it is a chamber pot. Leave it to my Hick to desire an item other people have pooped in. I guess it's better than a water jug containing a smattering of pennies and three dead mice. But only marginally. This came from the Goodwill near Hick's workplace, and cost $3.00.

Now here's a Hick tale of heartbreak. Last week, he stopped by that Goodwill on the way home. He saw a guy who runs in his circles, buying the same type of junk treasures. Hick runs into him all the time at various Goodwills and auctions. On this day, Hick saw him pulling a sled to the checkout. It was a wooden sled, with a seat made on the back. Hick says he would have loved to have it. They're $100 on the internet.

"Hey, buddy. You got my sled!"

"Yeah. I've been here about 2 hours looking around. She just put it out. Twenty dollars."

As you might imagine, Hick was beside himself. If only he'd been there a few minutes earlier. I'm sure there's plenty more junk out there that will appeal to him. He needs to look at the bright side. That said, it may seem cruel, but I had to tell him about the accidental donation discovered at that same store last week. One of the workers found $450 in a pocket, and turned it in.

Hick would probably have been more interested in the pocket.