Thursday, September 1, 2016

I Can't Wait Until Halloween. On Second Thought, I Can.

It's creepy and it's ooky
It's altogether spooky
You'd best not get too snoopy
With Thevictorian family

The homestead is a portal
The things in there ain't mortal
They never fail to startle
Thevictorian family

You'll jump!

So come on quit yer bawlin'
Stop that caterwaulin'
We're going to pay a call on
Thevictorian family

Something is afoot again here at Thevictorian homestead. It's more that the regular walking over my head at night, from the bedroom area of the boys.

Tuesday, Hick came home early. He had an appointment at the eye doctor, where he had his eye(s) dilated. In true Hick fashion, he not only drove himself home, but went outside to mow the yard in the afternoon sun. I know that, because when he got home around 3:00, he came down to my dark basement lair to tell me his plans, and I saw that he was wearing those wraparound plastic free dark "sunglasses" that the optometrist gives out for eye dilations, under his regular spectacles. If you are thinking, "That sounds insane," that's what The Pony said, by text, later Tuesday night.

Around 4:30 Hick came in and was stomping around in the bathroom over my dark basement lair. I assumed he was taking a shower after mowing. I heard him drop something. Twice. Something heavy. Not the soap! I didn't hear him crank back the La-Z-Boy, so I figured maybe he was in bed having a nap. I thought I heard some thunder. He likes to nap during a thunderstorm.

Around 6:00, I lost my internet connection. So I walked out and hollered up to Hick to see if it was pouring. Thanks to Genius making me switch to DISH internet, I lose it during a downpour or a blizzard. Huh. No answer. Must really be snoozing. I tried a restart and found out that wasn't the problem. I gathered up stuff I needed to carry upstairs (sure miss The Pony!) and went to make some supper. Chicken and leftover roasted vegetables. I was ready to give them to the dogs, but Hick declared there was one more eating in them.

Hick came in the door as I went upstairs.

"Huh. When did you go out? I was standing down there talking away at you, and you didn't answer."

"I haven't been in here since I left your office. I've been mowing."

"You didn't come back? You weren't in the bathroom? Dropping something?"

"No. I was mowing the whole time. But now it's raining."

Well. Ain't THAT a fine how-do-you-do? Nobody was in the house with me, but something was stomping around the master bathroom and dropping heavy objects on the tile!

We had supper. Hick settled down in his La-Z-Boy to watch his shows, and I went back to my lair. I was running late with my blog posts, and texting The Pony at the same time. It must have been around 8:20 when we heard the alarm. Three loud tones. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I thought it was the smoke alarm. We have them all over. They usually start to chirp intermittently when the battery runs low. Or go off for a full loud 30 seconds when I cook. You know. That one in the kitchen must be extra sensitive...

Hick vaulted out of his La-Z-Boy and stumped his way hurriedly across the living room. He came rushing down the steps. I stayed in my office. Hick was on the case. He IS a good protector. But the alarm stopped.

"What was that?"

"I don't know. I thought it was the smoke alarm."

"Do you have any candles burning down here?"

"No. Not since The Pony left two weeks ago. Haven't lit a one."

"Huh." Hick went into the workshop area, where the heater/AC unit is located. "I don't smell anything."

"I have the heater under my desk going. But I run that all the time and nothing goes off."

"I don't know. We'll have to watch it, I guess."

Yesterday, while I was sitting upstairs waiting for a UPS delivery, I heard that same alarm. Once. At 9:20 a.m. BEEP! It sounded like it was downstairs.

Not sure what's going on around here. This time of year holds no special significance. Numbers, maybe? Birthdates? All different months, none in August or September. Ours are 11-me, 12-Genius, 15-Pony, 17-my Dad, 18-Hick, 31-my Mom.

Hick might be getting blamed for a lot more stuff when he retires.


  1. Replies
    1. I with my knees hadn't left me! I can't run.

  2. I was going to ask if I could come & stay with you for a while--never mind!!

    1. Please! Come stay! I will put you in Genius's room. Today I took some mail in there to lay on his desk, and I heard something thumping around in the wall or the bathroom on the other side of it! In broad daylight! At 10:20 a.m.!

  3. Val, ah b'lieve y'all got haints!

    1. Or severe settling of the concrete foundation, which sits on solid rock. So solid that we had to blast out sections to make the front level with the back before building.

  4. You need to forget about that basket factory in favor of a paranormal hotel.

    1. Maybe. If I can get the Cannonball to put in a branch line to bring my guests, and have Hick set up a big water tank for the guests to swim/bathe in, and then make Hick nap in a rocking chair on the porch...

  5. OR is Hick trying to drive you crazy, so he can have the mansion all to himself?

    1. On Tuesday, no. Today, yes. He took the day off (shocking, I know) and even though I heard him stump across the living room to put away his prescription refill, and later heard him showering, he had the nerve to say, "No. I didn't take a shower." With a smirk, and he stood there stepping into fresh tighty-whities...

      Sorry you asked now, huh? You can purchase a gallon of brain bleach from the counter of my proposed handbasket factory. Or paranormal hotel.