You know how when you have just put on a clean shirt fresh from the laundry room, and go outside to PULL YOUR TRASH DUMPSTER TO THE END OF THE LONG DRIVEWAY, and your half-heeler, half-dachshund, half-grown puppy jumps up and puts his feet on the bottom of it, his feet fresh from a dip in his swimming
Or when you drive to town for your 44 oz Diet Coke and the parking lot of your gas station chicken store is so crowded that you backtrack to get your magical elixir at Orb K, only the spigot there gives off clear fluid, so you go back to your gas station chicken store and get your soda, but get your T-Hoe blocked in by a two trucks pulling two trailers? Don't you hate it when that happens?
And how about when go to your basement mini fridge to take out your packet of knee ice that you just made fresh yesterday, even double-bagging it to guard against leaks, and it catches on an older packet of leaky knee ice and slips out of your hand and crashes onto the tile floor, and you sit down with your lunch at 2:30 with your 44 oz Diet Coke, with your knee ice on your sore joints, and then feel a trickle down the shin of your right leg? Don't you hate it when that happens?
Lucky for me, I had a spare sandwich bag on hand for just such a calamity. Though I DID have to take the ice out and re-bag it, since the other two were leaking like a sieve in a downpour. In fact, the corners were pouring water with only gravity's pull. I tried to catch as much as I could in the new bag, but water goes where water (and gravity) want it to go. Good thing I still had a paper towel laying around after the Great 44 oz Diet Coke Spill of '16.
I'm sure my luck will turn. It's EVEN Steven. Not Murphy Steven.
I do hate it when that happens.
ReplyDeleteYeah. I hate it when the contractors make my bathroom spring a leak, too.
DeleteAnd I thought I had a bad day!
ReplyDeleteI even left out the part where I found a special bright flashlight shaped like an ink pen that I bought for Genius a while back, and sliced my left index finger on the plastic packaging while pulling it out of the bag.
DeleteOr when you find the rat that our cat brought in yesterday for you (and then ran off with it when you shouted at her) in the cat litter tray when you go to empty it. Or when you look down to see an ENORMOUS spider on your HAND and after throwing it across the room you have to run to get the spider catching glass (Oh yes, I MAY not have a rat shovel but I DO have a spider glass).
ReplyDeleteI hate all of that too ...
I am quite excited to discover that you have a spider-catching glass! If I had one, I would be tempted to use it for what Stephen suggests below...
DeleteSounds like you need ice with a bit of whiskey in it.
ReplyDeleteAnd NO SPIDER!
DeleteI am with Steven ..... add some real magic elixir to that ice!
ReplyDeleteBack in my misspent youth, when I may or may not have imbibed an elixir THAT magical...it was straight from the bottle, no ice involved.
DeleteI went to a (shudder) Jack in the Box for breakfast today and once I got a hole poked in the cardboard juice box and a straw in it I set it on the console while I unwrapped my breakfast sandwich. Of course I brushed against the top of the straw and the whole thing tipped over into the bucket seat I was sitting in. Fortunately only a little bit got out and made my (upper) leg wet but if anyone had been sitting next to me they would have heard some strong language. Yes, I hate when that happens.
ReplyDeleteWhich proves that we all need to drive around with a child to properly perform juice box duties for us, and that it's a good thing you didn't have the coffee.
DeleteVal--It's delightful to see that you and I rely on the same expensive, difficult-to-find ice packs. My supply is almost depleted. I will have to search the 'net to find some more...
ReplyDeleteSo YOU are the reason I'm having trouble finding my ice packs! If I find any extras, Madam, I will be happy to sell them to you. At an increased price, of course.
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